How do I deal with the pain?

Question

I have been with my husband for 3 years and he has 2 wonderful children. I have been there for them every step of the way. Their mom is a known drug abuser, and we just got enough evidence to prove it. Our attorney got her medical records and it talks about how she does abuse drugs. Cocaine, marijuana, and prescription. They even had a postive urine test in there for cocaine and marijuana. We have tried to fight her so many times before to keep the kids out of that stuff, but at the time we didn't have the proof that we do now. Here's the problem. A month ago my husband got a phone call that told him that his children were in great danger because she owed a drug dealer. We tried going to the police and social services but they wouldn't do anything. Then my husband screwed up big time, he got drunk ( this happened the day after she picked up the kids for her time with them.) and got in trouble. Now he has to serve 60 days in jail for this mistake. He says that he knows he screwed up and has been getting counseling and help so that he never screws up this bad because of her again. Here's what really hurts. She went and filed for sole custody because he doesn't go to jail until Sept. 1. We brought all of our eveidence that proved that she was doing drugs and not passing urine tests to the judge and asked that if they couldn't give me custody then at least let me keep up the regular visistation schedule of every other week. At least then the kids would still have some sort of stability. I have no history of drug use and i have nothing on my criminial record. The judge said that even though we had this evidence showing that she is a danger to the children she still got them temporarily. Now I can't even see them for at least 67 days, maybe more depending on how long it takes to get a hearing afterwards. This is killing me. I love those boys so much. She would never show up for any parent teacher conferences or for when a mother was suppose to go to class to read a story. I did all of that stuff so that they would have a mother figure in their life. And then to top it off the judge told her to meet us at the police station to pick up the kids, and she sends her mother. She pulls up in a black vechile later while we were handing the kids over, started making out with some guy, looked at the kids and said "Hi, boys. Mommy gotta go with him, I'll see you in a few days." She is never there for them, but she wanted to make it very clear to me that now I wouldn't be aloud to see them or talk to them. How do I deal with this pain? It hurts sooo bad, and now I have to constantly sit here and wonder if they are safe. How do I do this?

Answer 1

get another lawyer.. dont give up, what you are doing for those kids makes you my new hero!!... it takes a very special person to do this and they are very lucky kids... dont give up and if i were you id be gettin their rooms ready as by the sounds of their mother, they wont be there for long!!

Answer 2

Think of it this way, you're the only ones concerned about those kids as both of their parents have no more sense than a gnat.  

Answer 3

Look to God

Answer 4

Well, I suggest getting a good lawyer. If that woman is not passing drug tests, if that was ordered by the court, she should be in jail! Is CPS involved? This mother will lead these children, possibly you too, into serious harm. If CPS does nothing, take it to the media. I'm so sick of hearing about children dieing because CPS doesn't take quick enough action.

Pray.

Good luck. God bless.

Answer 5

First let me say kudos to you for stepping up & being these boys mother. Many woman and men would run the other way. Second you need to contact a lawyer & log everything she has done. Many of states have lawyers  that will do pro bono cases. If you know the address of the biological mom contact Child Protective Services & make a claim. Even if you have to call everyday do so. Record these also. Good Luck & God Bless!!!