How do I do this and not be mean? long but i need an answer!?

Question

Okay my neice will be 1 this friday and shes big for her age but shes 30 lbs already. Shes off the charts and the size of a 2-3 year old. But what Im worried about is her weight. My sis wants to clean, like her house HAS to be perfect, if something one tiny thing gets on the carpet out comes the sweeper. Its ridiculous. So she puts my neice to bed all the freakin time. But thats not the problem she keeps and keeps giving her bottles to shut her up and put her to sleep. Thats how she gains soooo much weight! So she can clean or just be her time. I feel sooo sorry for her, I used to go get her but i had a c section 3 weeks ago and i cant carry her yet so i cant take her as much. How do I nicely without hurting my sisters feelings STOP feeding her?? She weighs too much. Ive talked to my mom and we just dont know what to do!!!! Any answers please.

Answer 1

just tell her flat out that if she wants her child to be healthy to stop what she is doing

seriously...its not a mean thing if you are trying to help someone

Answer 2

It sounds to me like your sister may have Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (the real deal, not just being funny).  Unfortunately, her compulsion for a clean and tidy house has seriously impacted her daughter (and her daughter's health).

Does she have other neatness habits that seriously affect her life?  Is she late for appointments because things have to be "just so"?

You may need to suggest that she see a therapist for her OCD, it won't disappear on its own.  Through therapy and medication, the compulsions and obsessions can be diminished.

You may need an ally to get her to get help.  Perhaps her husband would be a good idea.

I think your sister needs to have her problems addressed before  your niece can be helped.

Answer 3

Wow, that is a very tough situation! I would maybe suggest to your sister that she gives her alot of milk and that's not very good for her because she will not eat food while drinking that much milk. And if she doesn't eat any food she can become anemic and that will get her immune system down making her not able to fight off infections as easily. What I am suggesting is make it about something besides her weight. This way she wont be as defensive.  

Answer 4

Have you tried saying it nonchalantly?  I mean...you know what the ped told her so she must have mentioned it to you, right?  So next time she wants juice and she insists on formula, just look "all confused" and say something like, "Oh, I thought the pediatrician wanted her to back off on the formula...?"  Like you really just are asking...

Can't think of any other way other than just coming out with it which I am assuming is what you're worried will cause some trouble by hurting her feelings or making her mad...

Good luck!!

Answer 5

What does her pediatrician say.  Is the doctor concerned.  Please keep in mind that once she comes off the bottle and walks, she will lose a lot of her baby fat.

Answer 6

I think that you and your mom should sit down with your sister and the baby and tell her honestly what your concerns are.  Let your mom lead the conversation since she is an experienced mother and all that.  Maybe be prepared with some facts about the healthy weight of a one year old.  Tell your sister that you don't want to hurt her, you only want to help.  Is your niece walking yet?  Probably not, am I right?  Tell your sister that her daughter will have problems walking as well because of the extra weight she carries and that means that she won't develop properly.  But all in all, its best to be open and honest.  Stress the fact that by doing what she is doing, its only hurting her daughter.  She will be over weight all her life and be laughed at and teased by the other kids.  If all else fails, when you are up to it, or if your mom can do it, take your niece home for a week or so and train her off the bottle.

Answer 7

when she takes her to the pediatrician go with her and ask in front of your sis if its ok to keep giving her bottles and what the effects will be in the long run then maybe your sis will see what she is doing and stop. or you could tell her what you think but that would probably just cause a fight between you two