How do I ease the loneliness while he's gone?

Question

My boyfriend left for basic training at Ft. Sill Oklahoma three weeks ago, and I feel incredibly lonely.

I'm leaving for college in three weeks, but in the meantime I find that I don't have anything to do. I am mainly trying to cope. I feel like I'm going crazy, these past three weeks I've only gotten two four minute phone calls and five letters.

And he apparently hasn't been getting any of my letters to him, is it possible that my letters are being withheld by his drill seargents? Are there any type of things I am not allowed to mail to him, like a care package?

Why isn't he allowed a longer period of time to talk? He's from a single parent household, and his father and him aren't on the best of terms, so I know for a fact he's only called me.

What can I do? We've been together for two years and have always been incredibly close, how do I deal with this better?

Thanks in advance for any answers.

Answer 1

so what happens when he gets deployed for a year are you going to freak out.  basic training is harder on him then it is on you.  put your emotions aside and support him.    sorry to be so mean.  

Answer 2

It sounds like your boyfriend got there pretty close to the same time as mine did.  My boyfriend has been there and only gets to call on Sundays also.  We talk for about 5 minutes each week and write to each other as much as possible.  

I write to him daily, it's my way of staying close and letting him know what has been going on at home while he's away.  He usually sends me a letter once or twice a week.  You have to be really sure that you are addressing the letters to him exactly as he does or they might get lost in their mail system.  Also, you aren't allowed to send anything except letters, pictures and newspaper clippings for now.  Not only will your packages not make it to him but you will get him into trouble if he gets caught with anything they consider contraband.

Thankfully my boyfriend is in the National Guard and I know he will be coming home after AIT in mid-October.  What branch did your boyfriend enlist in?  

I am lucky enough to have my kids and family to keep my busy as well as my job but fully understand being lonely without my best friend.  Dave enlisted before we met and for me to be with him, I have to accept the military as part of him now.  I know that it's hard and the nights are the worst, but try to find something.  

I have also started working out in the evening after I put my kids to bed to keep me busy and it has helped also.  Plus when I get to go see him for Family Day and Graduation, I am already 10 pounds lighter!

Answer 3

get a d***o.

No Im totally joking! go to bars! dance! hang out with your old girlfriends!

you lived without him for so long, go back to the way you lived before and just remember him to keep your attitude up!

Answer 4

The only thing to do is distractions which is hanging out with friends. My guy never got one of my letters they may be holding it just b/c they can. I wouldnt send care packages anymore if he isnt getting them but i would continue trying the letters. My guy only called me and not his grandmother(bascially his mom) and she took out her problems on me. They just dont let him talk its part of the whole his family is the military and thats who they should depend on. Im going crazy right now my guy is in the marines and has been in iraq for less than a month, and im going insane. I have three weeks also till school and my part time job. The only things i do is sleep late, tv, clean, find you a support group(search in yahoo), and internet. and hang out w/friends. I know its tough but stay strong sweetie and best of luck!

Answer 5

Yeah my boyfriend left for basic (the army)a little over 4 months ago. I miss him very much also. He only gets to use the phone once a wk on sundays for about 5 or six minutes.I feel like i'm going crazy too.I haven't started back college yet,but i work alot so that helps a little. I mostly just try to stay busy and talk to my friends and family. I met him when i was 14 now i'm 20,we've been very close ever since we met.He says he writes my everyday but it seems like it takes forever for his letters to get here.they let us mail care packages as long as it doesn't contain cookies and sweets and stuff like that b/c their not allowed to have candy. they have to eat healthy,its part of the training.

when u talk to him on the phone,did he tell u that he hasn't recieved any of ur letters or what?I know they didn't start doing mail service for about a wk after my boyfriend got to basic.

he regrets signing up now b/c he misses me and his family so much.he signed up for 6yrs of service.he wants out really bad.At first before he leftt me and him split up b/c i didn't want him to go b/c.......well....its the army which right now were in war and i worry about what will happen to him,but he did it because it would pay for his school.He regrets it everyday and he cries everyday on sunday when the get phone calls. He just really misses everyone.He won't call ne one but me.

I hope ur boyfriend never regrets it and wants to come home because its a sad thing knowing theres nothing u can do to help bring him back.

What was the main reason ur boyfriend wanted to go?The only thing i know to tell u is to know that u'll get to see him again when he graduates basic on family day. I just think of how happy i'l be when i do get to see him again and that helps me alot even though i miss him so much.

I'll be glad to talk to u if u want to know ne thing else or have ne ?s u can e-mail me.

Answer 6

It sounds like you love him a lot, and you've been together for a while.  You need to discuss getting married, when he gets back.  My husband and I got married when he was transferred across the country.  You can go to college wherever he gets stationed, and his income will increase.

Answer 7

My boyfriend is currently at basic training. Getting letters from him has helped me soo much. I write to him everyday also. Luckily, he gets to call every sunday and talk for about 10-15 min. I get really bored without him, but I try and work as much as I can. Spend time with family and friends as much as possible.

Just stay strong for him. He needs you. Send encouraging letters and love letters. Im suprised he hasnt gotten any of your letters. I dont know why that is. I know I couldnt send my boyfriend letters for a while cuz they didnt have their address yet but he could send them to me.

You will be going to college soon and your time will be taken up with classes. Don't worry, you will be okay. I thought people were nuts when they told me that but I am managing. The biggest advice I can give to you is STAY STRONG! And faithful!!

Answer 8

go out with your friends

Answer 9

Listen to Guns and Roses song "Patience". It helped my wife while I was on deployment.

Answer 10

  It will be over in a few weeks, if you can't cope with it, then you need to end it. After all, what are you going to do when he gets deployed for months at a time?  

  Live your own life, sitting by the phone is not what he wants you to do.  If he truly loves you then he wants to see you happy and enjoying life, not mourning his absence

Answer 11

During the beginning of basic he is only allowed a few short phone calls.  My first call was only 30 sec long and none were longer than five min.  There is a drill sergeant timing him. He is probably not getting your letters yet because they have to be processed through the base system and this can take some time.  Do not mail him candy, food or nude photos.  He will be given a more complete list later ask him to send it to you.  Care Packages are not really allowed at this point.

Volunteer with groups like the USO or the Red Cross.

Basic only last ten weeks so it will come to an end.  He will have a lot more freedom (cell phone) during his fifth week of AIT.

Feel free to message me with any questions or concerns.  I have been in your boyfriends shoes so I know what he id going through.