How do I escape my mom's house and gain some independance?

Question

This is really a much more complicated question than it sounds. I'm a 20 year old college student. I make minimum wage. There are very few job opportunities in my area. I have been feeling rather stuck lately. I live with my mom and commute to school. I am considered a dependent on the FASFA form and my mom claims me as such on her taxes. This means that I need her financial information as well as her husbands. As far as I know there is no way to even apply for a loan without first filling out this form.. which i cannot do because they will not give me this information. Is there any way around this? I can't afford my tuition without them. My car is in her name. My phone is in her name. They are paying for school. I have to obey her rules or they will take my car, my college tuition or my phone. I cant find a way out. I'm an adult and I have no control over my own life. can someone please help figure out how to get out of this endless cycle?

Answer 1

Two choices

First, if they are paying for everything, and not making you feel very very uncomfortable, then don't leave home.  It's better to have some support.

Else, if you are not comfortable at home, you can move out.  You are 20 years old so it's legal to live on your own.

Once you moved out, tell them that they cannot claim you on the tax anymore.  

File your own tax, and use that to apply for those student loans and grants.  That should take care of most if not all of your tuition problem.

Minimum wage will be tough to survive by yourself, find a roommate if possible.

Car, not so important if public transportation is good in your area.

If not, then you might have to find a used car that is cheap but still run.

I used to buy a car that cost about $500-$1000.  The car last me two-three years.  That's cheap and convenient.

Cellphone, you can get those without contract, low monthly charge, unlimited call.  Start up is kind of high, signal is less than perfect, but having one will help in time of need.

Or, if you don't call that much, get a prepaid one.

*Save up some money before you move out.  Get atleast enough for couple of month's rent.  That's for your backup incase something happen.

Answer 2

Believe it or not, you don't really have it that bad. You have a car, a job, a place to live and some structure in your life. Your mom is controlling your life, true, but, it could be a lot worse. Sure you want to make your own decisions, and you can. but she has rules for a reason.

  I f she is helping you with your education, she wants you to suceed. Calm down and get college out of the way. Do your very best to get a degree. Then you can get a really good job. Set your priorities and get focused on the big picture, where you want to be in 3 years. Right now the control issue seems big, but it's just going to get you closer to your goals. Be realistic, mature and work hard. You have a good future ahead of you.

Answer 3

If I were you I would focus on school and getting the degree..your so close to having that, and it will open so many doors and provide so many opportunities for you.....whatever it is you think you will have by leaving is highly over-rated!  You have been blessed with a parent that is willing to pay your way, all you have to do is go to school...free car, free phone... what about meals, laundry, house cleaning, groc shopping, utilities, insurance,  air conditioning, heating.... I just don't get it.  Once you have to juggle all those things including work, school, and a social life...that's when you are stuck.  Accept the help, focus on your goal, ....you are about half way now so you have so much to be proud of!  It won't last forever, it goes faster than you think...and then you have your whole life ahead of you.  

Answer 4

just stick it out for a while longer, soon you will be out of school. be thankful for the help, a lot of people do not have it. what's a little longer at least your parents care enough to do this for you. don't be in such a rush, most people can't live on what they make and need 2 incomes to make it work with food,gas,electric, insurance, rent,bills never stop, can you afford to eat out for lunch every day? if not then you probably can't afford to live on your own.  Try talking to your parents about responsibility and try paying for your own phone and other stuff see what they say.  

Answer 5

thing. ... them moving ouit and liviung alone for college it is not a whim.

Also, try to find rental rooms within 10 minute or 15 minute walk from college. Also see if there are part time jobs available near college.

What you need to do is piece things together.

You can FIRST apply directly to the college for financial aid if you are living or plan to on your own renting a room somewhere.... try to sell some stuff quietly on Grisliest.org, and then, take the dough and find a place to live. Once there, apply for food stamps for free food. Also, get the cheapest cell phone plan and use only in emergencies. You pay for uincoming calls.

A college financial aid office can give you all sorts of forms and info on how to make it living on your own and going to classes, including free course, free food, free transportation card,  and or subsidized courses.

Do NOT discuss Theo swath your mom. They will never change. You have to figure this out by asking those who can assist you and whop have been through it.

Answer 6

The process is hard, but the answer is simple.  Leave home.  If that means finding a room to rent that you can afford on your income, so be it.  And if you have to give up the car and ride the bus, that's OK, too.  You may have to give up going to school full time and only go at night or part time, but as long as you are living on their money, you cannot control anything.

Answer 7

The state may consider you an adult at age 20, but living on your mother's $ doesn't make you qualify. As stated. Pull up the boot straps and do what you have to do.

Answer 8

An uncomplicated answer: Plan it.

A lot depends on how soon your want to effect your emancipation.

Obviously your mother likes a lot of control over you.  She has set up  your situation so that you are financially dependent on her.

An easy, but less satisfying way, would be simply to finish college first--in other words, not fighting the system.

Another option would be to have a  hopefully pleasant but sincere conversation with your mother in which you point out that while she holds the strings to your "puppet life" right now, soon that will change, and you will remember her oppressive ways (I'm stating it bluntly to be brief here--you don't have to  say it in such a hard hitting fashion). That means, if she wants to have any sort of good relationship with you in the future, she should not be so suffocating in the present! Be ready in case she asks what sort of loosening of the controls are you after.

Overall, I think wisdom would be to plan your escape now, but not to make any moves now.  Bide your time.  Keep any paperwork well hidden, so that you mother cannot anticipate your moves in the future and counteract them.

Answer 9

My parents did the same thing and it's an endless cycle (ask my 40-year old brother).  So, tough as this sounds, here's what you do.  You find a roommate, move out, and work at your minimum wage job scrimping and saving whatever you can.  You tough it out for two years broke as heck.  Then you file your FAFSA as independent and since you're broke, you will get a Pell Grant and all sorts of financial aid to get you through school.  Yes, it's possible.  It's also tough to do, but it builds character and you will never ever take what you have for granted again.  Get a place on a bus route if you can.  You're gonna be without wheels and a cell phone for a while.