How do I explain to my 7 year old daughter...?

Question

that she can't play with one of her friends because her mom is a complete whackjob?

One of my daughter's friends lives in our neighborhood, and she and my daughter want to play together after school all the time. The problem is I can't stand her mother. The mom completely came on too strong with me and wanted to be best friends immediately, and calls all the time and noses into my business. She's a nicest enough person, but I felt like I was being stalked she called me so often. Finally, I stopped answering the phone, and stopped returning her many phone calls, so she stopped by the house and asked me why I wasn't talking to her anymore. I'm in my mid-30s and she was acting like we're in high school, wondering why we aren't friends anymore. I tried to explain how I felt to her, and she has since left me alone.

Of course, now the girls are back in school, and see each other on the bus everyday.

How do I tell my daughter that she can't play with her friend for a while, without explaining to her that I think her mom is crazy.

Answer 1

I wouldn't punish the girls because the other Mom is a bit of an oddball.

Answer 2

The child should not be punished for the parent's shortcomings.

If the mother leaves you alone now, why not let your daughter play with her friend? Granted, in a situation like that I wouldn't let my kid go over to the 'whackjob's' house, but it just seems unfair for your child to miss out on an opportunity to have a friend in her neighborhood because you don't like the kid's parent.

I am assuming, of course, that the other girl is not like her mother.

Answer 3

OK not to be rude but I kindof think that you are being selfish to not let you daughter play with her friend that she LIKES, because you have issue allowing new people into your life. it sounds like you have social issues. this is only going to teach your daughter to be judgemental to others that are different. Maybe that women was just trying to befriend you because the girls get along so well. You assumed that she was obsessed with you when she was just being nice. This sounds like a issue of yours and you are going to put this off on your daughter.. just plain selfish to me. Let your daughter play with her friend and get over you own issues... Its stupid that you are wanting to control who you daughters friends are even though is nothing wrong with the little girl. GET OVER IT and let your daughter make friends, dont cause her to have a social issue either. For a mid 30 something year old you are acting like you are in high school.

Well do not let your daughter go to her friends house, but do not, not let them play together. Again this is your issue, and that your friends tell you stay away. .that screams high school too. Your adult you should start acting like one. you already told that other mom how you feel do not get your daughter involved in YOUR issues. You need to stop thinking about yourself and think about what you are going to teach your daughter.. What if someone else did this to you and YOUR DAUGHTER.. did you think about that. what if someone did not like you and would not let their daughter play with your daughter how would that make you feel? Be the bigger person here and let your daughter play with her at school and in your home. Enough Said!

Answer 4

Just invite your daughter's friend over your house. I wouldn't get your daughter involved with this.  

Answer 5

well it's gonna be hard trying to explain to her that she can't play with her friends cause they're friends already and see each other in school all the time. Your daughter can still play with her friend but you don't have to be friends with the other other girl's mom. Let the kids be friends don't let your problems with the other mom ruin ur daughter's friendship. There could be limits though like she won't be allowed to sleep over or something.

Answer 6

unless the kid is a wacko i dont see the problem. let them play in school just dont allow play dates  

Answer 7

Just because you really don't care for the girls mother is no reason to keep the two little girls from being friends and playing together, it is not fair for them.

Answer 8

What "out of control"?  Okay the mother went overboard with being overly friendly.   That is no reason to tell your daughter not to play with her daughter.  It is a very bad idea for parents to start picking their children's friends.  If this girl has done nothing to your daughter to warrant you telling your daughter not to be friends with her then you have nothing, other than not liking the girl's mother.  Keep in mind that just like your daughter is not YOU, this girl is not her mother.  

Answer 9

Dont let ur daughter go to her house. But they should still play suggest a park or the playgroung or the movies anything. U should talk to the mother but dont tell her to much. Cuz then shell think ur best friends  

Answer 10

Do not involve your daughter in this. Let her play with her friend. Do not punish her because you are on frustrating terms with the mother. Unless she does something to suggest that your daughter is in danger in her presence, than I would leave your daughter out of this immature squabble. Just because you don't like the mom doesn't mean you can go around dictating who your daughter can befriend. This can have negative psychological effects throughout her life if you are too controlling like that.

Answer 11

There is no good reason for them not to play together.  You made your feelings known to the other mother and she has since backed off so what is the problem.  IT is not like you don't want your daughter over there because mom is a drunk or their house is a pig sty.  If it is really that bad then just have the girls at your place all the time.  

I don't think the mom is crazy just lonely maybe.  She doesn't sound like a bad person just not the kind of person you want as your friend.   Sounds like maybe you are being a little bit high school too.

Answer 12

when i was younger my mother kept me from someone that was a great person,then her mom became divorced,started drugs,etc and then my mother said to me she didn't like me playing with her and said she was a bad influence...you know what....my mother acheived that and my friend and i stopped talking,etc..and i found out her mom was out in jail,got caught from a drug ring and sentenced to jail,well my friend,she was like 13 or 14 yrs old,well she was put in foster care,and she killed herself...i hated my mother for that! i don't think you should "judge" this child for her mom's behavior...your daughter will hate you for that...

Answer 13

Have her daughter come to your house or let them meet at a day care place its not that big of a deal!

Answer 14

I would just tell your daughter that you understand that she really likes this girl but she cannot play with her. She's 7. She won't need a dissertation on why, just tell her simply it's not a good idea and suggest a play date with someone else whose mom is not so crazy.