How do I explain what a dream is to my 3 year old?

Question

My daughter (who just turned 3) began having nightmares a few months ago. At first they were mostly about dragons. I told her that it wasnt real, and it was just a dream and that was enough for her for a while. But about 2 weeks ago she started having different nightmares, apparently more realistic ones. So far most of the ones she has told me about involved her getting attacked by dogs (usually 3 at a time). We dont have any dogs but she has always been pretty skiddish around them, just because she is not used to them. Anyways, I have tried explaining to her that dreams are not real and that her mind is just playing pretend. She just doesnt understand no matter how my husband and I try to explain it to her. A couple of times she has even become angry with us for not helping her in her dream. She doesnt understand why we are not there. Does anyone have any idea how I can explain this to her? She is a very smart little girl, I just cant seem to find the words to help her.

Answer 1

I don't know how to explain it to her, but I would consider encouraging her (or you for her) to jot down the dreams in a journal of sorts.  This could be wonderful information for her to have in the future.  I would have loved to have that information from when I was a child.  

Some people believe dream interpretatation to be very helpful in their lives (i.e. Carl Jung)

Either way, it sounds like your daughter is special!  Probably a highly sensitive, gifted child.  This may be an early sign that she may be more interested in a creative path (as opposed to rigid traditional schooling).  

This is all speculation, but I believe you can already tell she is gifted ;-)

Answer 2

tell her its like a tv show. its not real. well wat worked for my sister is my mom told her whenever you have scary dreams just turn your back on them and they will go away. you have to face them for them to be there

Answer 3

I told my grandson that dreams were like sleep time television that his brain made.  Wheneve he was having a night mare I told him all he had to do was change the channel.  He was fine after that.

Answer 4

I would suggest finding the source of her fears, I'm not saying you need a psychatrist to do this just a little detective work.  

Mainly it looks like her fear is she is going to be harmed or is being attacked and you won't be there to protect her.  I would reassure her she is safe, and that you are just in the other room.

However, I wouldn't stop there I would surf the internet with her to help her understand the creatures of her nightmares.

Help her to understand that dragons are once creatures that existed a long time ago and now we just have little lizards and cartoons to remind us of what they once looked like.  I would show her the images of Chinese dragons online since they were representative of good fortune and protection.  Also show her the Dragon Tales cartoon.  

Help her to understand that dogs aren't bad, have her look at pictures of the different types of dogs and read about the breed's best behavioral traits.  Protection, love, companionship, etc.

However, keep emphasizing that the dreams are not real most importantly tell her that SHE has the power to change her dreams.  SHE can make the dogs go away, SHE can fight the dragons, and that is why you aren't always there in the dream to help her, because you know SHE can make her bad dreams go away, and if she needs your help you are just in the other room.

It's a bit of separation anxiety, especially if you recently changed anything about the room or house.

Good luck.

Answer 5

That sounds like a problem, instead of trying to explain them to her, I would try to give her a solution. Like give her a doll that is a protector, and tell her that as long as she sleeps with it then the dogs might scare her but they can't actually hurt her. Also maybe put some light music or other noise on that kind of helps her dreams become a little less scary.

Answer 6

Oh my goodness! I was just wondering this myself! My two year old has been having bad Dora dreams and I have NO WORDS to tell her (oh and yes, no more Dora of course). It's tough.  Have you tried telling her about your dreams? Silly ones? Like, Mommy had a dream last night that she was best friends with an elephant and we went out for tea? Isn't that silly?

Answer 7

My mom always told me that dreams were stories my brain told me while I was sleeping so I wouldn't get bored. And, that even included the scary ones. Sometimes your brain thinks it's fun to be scared.

It worked for me... and may have something to do with the fact fact horror movies are my favorite genre.

Answer 8

Tell her that dreams are books that her mind reads at night to keep it from being bored while she is sleeping. If she tells her mind before bedtime that she doesn't like scary books then it will read only the books that she likes. This will help ease her stress about bad dreams and also make her think about what book she wants her mind to read. Have you ever noticed that you often dream about what you worry about? Same concept

Answer 9

I had the same problem with my oldest son. I had to talk him through the whole thing:

  "Wow! That sounds really scary! And you said Mommy didn't help you?"

  "No! Why didn't you help me?"

  "Well, did it happen after I told you goodnight last night? Remember, you wore (_____) and then got your stuff ready for bed?"

  "Yes."

  "Oh! That's why Mommy didn't help you! It was a dream! I guess you had too much fun yesterday, and had some strange dreams because of it. It didn't really happen, because you already went to bed."

  He now tells me how he dreamt this or that, and explains it to his little brother too!