How do I fet out of an abusive marriage?

Question

my husband has been abusive ever since our first child was born ...things use to be perfect but then he changed...he always calls me terrible names and he beats me almost everyday and forces me to have s*x with him ....I was pregnant with our second child but I had a miscarriage because of him.....I do have many family members I could talk to that would help me but he'd probably kill me if I tell someone or try to leave.....he always threatens to kill me .....I know if I don't leave one of us will end up dead eventually what should I do.....

I can't let my daughter see me hurt all the time

Answer 1

Why are you complaining choice is yours --------- Trust me---------

Men don't realize what they have til they loose it ......

Answer 2

Have him arrested, get a restraining order on him

Answer 3

It isn't do something the " next" time something happens...you may not be getting a second or third chance to do something about it..go to cops and put them on notice...tell everyone  you know..that jerk..wants you to think something will happen to you if you tell..keeping it a secret...NOPE..not to do..

YES.. by all means..do what the person above says..The national hotline, and I mean NOW..as in RIGHT NOW.

Answer 4

He doesn't love you.

First of all, you need to tell to your family to get psychological supports. Let them calm down while you are saying what has been happening.

Second, just leave him in secret and let the authority know.

One thing that is for sure is, you can't live with him or have a forever relationship. You need to realize this.

Answer 5

Wait 'till he's at work, pack up, grab the child and live with a friend or relative. Obviously not an in-law. Don't tell him where you're going and get some help. There's usually a hotline that will provide help with these kind of situations, if not, you could just call the police. If you've had a miscarriage then you must have some sort of physical proof of his beatings. Your daughter could also be a witness, if she is.

Answer 6

The next time he hits you, have his a$$ arrested and while he's in jail get a restraining order on him.

Call the Steve Wilcos show.  He can help.

Answer 7

Plan to get out of there all at once, then get a protective order. Tell all of your family members and then stay out of the public view for a while.. you might even be able to get him arrested. If he is hurting you, then he is hurting her, either directly or indirectly. protect her, momma.

Answer 8

If there is anyway to call the police,do it.You can take your baby and go to a safe house.If you want to chat with me personaly,you can e-mail me at wildcat196620002000@yahoo.I have been there also.Good-luck.

Answer 9

I was in your situation, he even worked for the police so I knew he would make good on his threat to kill me. He didn't in the end. I waited until he left for work then my family came and took my stuff and we ran like h**l. Six hours away I checked into a woman's shelter with my son and there was a restraining order in place within an hour. I know they don't always work, but the shelter is safe and provided me with plenty of resources for protection and he never found us, they even helped with police escorts to court for the divorce proceedings. Once you leave, it often takes alot of the bluster out of them. Abusive men are just bullies, once you fight back they are simply cowards. A word of advice..get proof and lots of it, take pictures of bruises, let people see them and know why. Set up recorders so that if he forces you again its recorded. Just know that there is always someone who can and will help ok. Stay strong and know you can get out of it.

Answer 10

He can only kill you one time but he can torture you for years.  You need to leave him any possible way you can and preferably when he doesn't realize that is exactly what your about to do.  He will try and keep you scared, he might mess with you alot but then again he might be all talk and no play (as most of these men are like that, they will hit a woman, but won't go against another man for fear they will get stomped).  Go to your family if you can or any safe place away from him.  If you stay he will eventually hurt you badly anyway, maybe break your bones, scar your face, the list goes on and on.  He might even kill you and your daughter and then himself.  If nothing else go to a women's shelter there is usually some type of place to help in any area.  Next call the police and tell them what is happening, be certain they know.  Our state just passed a law where if a man is arrested after beating a woman, he has to stay in jail x amount of hours until he cools down.  One of my very good friends was choked too death by her boyfriend, and if this law had been in affect at that time, it would have saved her life.  You never know what these kind of crazy b's are thinking.  Take your daughter and leave tonight if possible.  The below came from Webmd.com and I don't know how good it is, but there's a place to start if you don't want to involve your own family.  Trust me I know how it feels.    

Provides crisis intervention and support services to men and women who are dealing with domestic violence.

Write:

National Domestic Abuse Helpline

P.O. Box 252

Harmony, ME 04942

Voice: 1-888-743-5754

Website: http://www.dahmw.org/

Verified: 7/17/2007

Answer 11

First, get a restraining order... Violence & death threats should be enough to get at leasta temporary one...  Then IMMEDIATELY take some money & the kid, and leave...  The final step is staying away, even when he begs and promises to change...  

Answer 12

listen to wisdomspeaks! i agree with her answer and you have to get out and theres no reason for you to put up with any man who abuses you, whether its physically or mentally.

Answer 13

Call 911. please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224. Go to someone you trust.

Answer 14

please leave u have an obligation to your daughter and ur self as well think about her and do the right thing do all that u can do to protect your self call 911, restraining order, file charges aggravated assualt carries alot of years her in GA. please leave NOW do not stay another night u deserve better sneak and leave when he is at work. plan your exscape.

Answer 15

Tell your family members you're scared... they'll keep it a secret from him that you told them. maybe they'll temporarily let you and your daughter stay with them then go file a DV restraining order on him then move if possible.

Answer 16

Honey, you just tell me where that S.O.B. is. He'll never lay a hand on you, again. That makes me sick!!! I watched my stepfather beat on my mom for 14 yrs., until I was big enough to swing a baseball bat. Buy yourself one. Believe me. It feels GOOD to set them straight. Just don't hit them in the head unless you fear for your life. If you do....Batter up. Good Luck.

                                                Tony62

Answer 17

Go live with a relative.

Contact an attorney.

File assult charges with the police.

Get a protective order.

File for divorce.

Answer 18

You honestly sound as if you like the attention you get from the beatings, that him beating you makes you feel you have a strong impact on another person's life. This is very common and the reason so many women stay with abusive husbands. They like the attention adn they like to be degraded (possibly from looking in the mirror too much).

If that's not the case then your daughter excuse is elementary at best and proves you know nothing about children. You don't even sound realistic in this story. Sorry.

Answer 19

secretly pack your bags and run away.

call the police and get him some therapy through the police.

he cant kepp doing this you know and so does everyone else, hes not only hurting you but your daughter too,emotionally, who knows he could start hurting her so the best for all of you would be to leave.if you scared go to the police!

Answer 20

I've been there, and he probably will kill you if you allow things to continue to escalate.  My first husband was abusive.  He became abusive shortly after I got pregnant with his first child.  Before that, he was verbally and mentally abusive.  He would beat me just because he felt like it or if he was in a bad mood.  He would threaten to kill me, and I'm sure he would have if I would not have gotten out.  The answer is simple.  Get out.  Also, you need to tell someone what's going on just in case something happens to you.  He tries to put fear in you and isolate you so you won't have anyone to turn to, and you don't want to let that happen.  

Good luck...

Answer 21

you either want to leave or you dont. When you do, you need to leave permanently and not go back. He will promice everything will change but it doesnt. Usually, it gets worse. If you really want to leave, there are many help agencies that can help you.