How do I find a mate that I can put up with the rest of my life?

Question

here's the kicker....im selfish and have many other faults....BUT I am not an abuser and I will take care and love the right person and stay faithfull......so, how do I find a mate that will accept me for all my faults.

I've never been married or have children, so women think that is strange right at the get go.....They say...what is wrong with you?

lol....maybe I am destined to stay single and forget the rest?

Answer 1

Well, here's the thing.. why so concerned about this now anyway?  It's not like there's a special place you could go to find a certain mate -- when you meet the person and begin dating them, you find out soon enough whether you'd be compatible or not.

As far as the selfishness goes, if you want to have a mutually happy relationship with someone, you need to try to learn to let some of that selfishness go.  Sure, you could find a doormat for a wife who lays down and does whatever you say, but she will not be happy about it.  You may be happy, but your wife would be unfulfilled.  When you love someone, you want them to feel fulfilled and happy as well.  Maybe part of the issue is that you haven't found true love yet -- I think if you had you'd bend a bit on the selfishness for your love.

Also, a prenup?  I don't really believe in those.  I know a  lot of people that do, however it's my personal opinion that asking someone to sign a prenup is not really investing everything into the marriage; you're leaving something for yourself to fall back on "if things don't work out."  However, if you truly love someone and trust them, you wouldn't find a prenup necessary because you would trust them and divorce wouldn't be an option.

Anyway, I'm rambling.  Good luck with finding your love, and might I suggest staying out of the bars to find her? :)

Good luck!

Answer 2

I'm recently divorced and now dating a man who is 32, good looking, good job, smart, sweet and never married. I wondered why at first, but now that I know him well, I understand why he's never been married. He was just too d**n picky (or maybe I should say SET IN HIS WAYS)! He once broke up with a girl because she walked funny. And another time, he went on a date with this girl -- she was terriffic -- but he didn't like something she said, so there was never a second date.

My first bit of advice to you would be that -- if you feel a little spark of chemistry -- keep pushing forward. Hang in there even when she does something annoying. Learn to live with her little faults and allow her to live with yours. Compromise and meet in the middle when you can, but when you can't, don't fight over the little things too much. Just agree to disagree. Very few relationships are so easy that they don't require much work. Most relationships need work and attention on an almost daily basis, and I think that's because you're putting two people, two personalities, two minds, two separate bodies together and trying to make it into ONE big thing.

All my best, honey. I don't think you should resign yourself to being single your whole life. Just don't get caught up in that fairytale dream where you meet that special someone and never have another worry in the world. There is such a thing as Happily Ever After, but it takes work!

Good luck babe!

Answer 3

Are you financially and emotionally responsible?  If so, I may have the woman for you.  

Check this out:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 4

Nobody likes a selfish person.  Really, this is a lesson we all learned in kindergarten.  Why are you so behind?  

Answer 5

I am surprised that you haven't figured this out yet! You don't put up with them you tolerate them until the urge to murder them becomes too strong!!!

Answer 6

you can find the women of your dream..here and there.. LOL

i dont like the guys selfish.   you have to learn giving..

I never  meet any selfish guy here.. you are the only one

Have you thinkng about women more wealthy than you these days... LOL..

good luck!!!..

Answer 7

Start with counseling.