How do I find good adoptive parents?

Question

I'm pregnant and I'm considering adoption as an alternative, but I need to make sure that the child will be well taken care of. I'd really like to know them, just in case the kid ever needs a transplant or anything like that, just in case they want to know where they came from.

Answer 1

How many weeks are you?? And from where?? I kow my sister wants to adopt and have been going to classes and seminars for this.

Answer 2

u kno their are websites where u can look for families & at adoption agencies u can too like u can give specific things that u want about the parents they will match u they are paid to & they are despreate to.

this is how i decided to keep my baby when i felt their was no other way i was looking threw all this families on websites that were so rich & had big houses & perfect lifes.. watever i mean its been like my hole lifes goal to go to disney world & i seen like 5 famailies on there sayen they go to disney world acouple times a year thats when i was like no im taken my kid to disney world & thats how its been ever sence. dont think just cuz their better off then you that they are better off for your child.

Answer 3

Lutheran Social Services, or Catholic Adoption-  look it up in your phone book, each state has several sites and offices.  I would recommend a faith based agency, where you know they are doing adoption services for the good of couples, babies and mothers, instead of looking for financial gain.  Bless you for considering adoption.

Answer 4

You need to find a crisis pregnancy center in your area.  They will direct you to a good adoption agency in your area.  I say this because an adoption agency stands to make a lot of money here and you want the best place where you and your baby's needs will be considered.

DO NOT go through an attorney's office.  You need a place that will support you before, during and after.  It is a brave and hard decision to make. There are places that are in it for the good of your child, go to a crisis pregnancy center to find one.

Answer 5

best wishes and God bless. i bet your instincts will kick in and the baby will have an awesome life.

Answer 6

I'm a birthmother. It is a really hard decision to live with. You will never be the same. It's a hurt that never heals. I have begun to heal since I found my daughter in 2001. She was born in 1972 so i was without her for 30 years. I'm so very happy she is in my life again.

Answer 7

The best place to start is to understand the common mistakes that women make when considering adoption.

Rule #1 - Do not even think about finding adoptive parents on the Internet.  Too many perverts and exploiters who want to make money by selling your child!!!

To start educating yourself read this article about some of the common adoption mistakes written by a mother who gave her child away to adoption:

http://www.cubirthparents.org/booklet.pd...

It is at this WEB site with other information that will help to guide you:

http://www.cubirthparents.org/

Good luck!

Edited to add: Faith based adoption services are no better than others.  In some ways they are worse.  They will judge you and tell you that you are immoral.  They are wrong.  Jesus did not teach that.

Answer 8

Hi and (((HUGS))))

I know this is not an easy decision.  Adoption is a loving choice - it shows what a wonderful, compassionate, and awe-some person you are! :)  That being said, adoption is not for everyone however, and there is nothing wrong if you do decide to keep your baby as well.  It is great that you are considering this loving option!!!  

In answering your question to find good parents -It might be best to contact a pregnancy hotline - here is one to call -1-800-592-4725.  They will listen to you and provide a kind, non-judgemental ear.  They can  point you in the right direction. Another one is   [phone]  - its answered 24 hrs a day - I know its not toll free but I'm pretty sure they would call you back. If neither of those hotlines  work for you, I'm sure there are others - just search online.

Remember you do have the option of open adoption as well - you'll get photos, letters, etc. I've even heard of some moms taking the baby to their high school graduation, etc.

THANK-YOU for considering this option!!!!

Answer 9

I would make a list of things that are important for you in adoptive parents and any adoption.  Then look for parents that you would have wanted raising you.  Meet them, talk to them, and drill them with questions about how they could be the best parent to your child - tell them you expect an open adoption and see what think about that.  

However, before you go down the adoption path, really think about what you want to do.  If you are unsure at all, try parenting first as you can always relinquish later if it doesn't work out.  There is lots of help out there for a pregnant mom if the issue is only temporary, but if not, be firm about your requests with any agency or a parents.  You have a huge decision about who the aparents of your child will be and how much presence you have in that child's life.  

Best wishes on whatever decision you make.

Answer 10

My birthmother placed me for adoption in the hopes that I would have everything that she was not in a position to give me.

Let me tell you what the reailty was. I got adoptive parents that used to beat me everyday & tell me I was a no good hoe like her. I got to have my baths in cold dirty water after everyone else had theirs. I never once got a lunch to take to school. I never got a birthday party, or a birthday present. Christmas meant a new pair of socks.

When I was 11, they decided I was too much bother & threw me into foster care where I stayed until I was 18 and then forced to fend for myself.

With adoptions, you can hope all you want, what happens in reality is a little different. If you'd really deep down like to KEEP your baby, but don't know where to go, or how to get it done... email me.. I'd love to help

Answer 11

I was adopted through a faith based agency, and they made it very difficult for me to find my first mother when I went searching.  There are no guarantees that the adoptive parents will keep any agreements to an open adoption, or that the agency will really facilitate them finding you later.

Just a heads up.

Answer 12

There are no guarantees in adoption.

The child will have a different life - than the one he/she will have with you - but not necessary a 'better' life.

Whatever you do - don't commit to anything until you have your child - as adoption agencies and many pre-adoptive parents will tell you whatever you want to hear - as they just want your baby.

It can mean an absolute life-time of grief for you.

Read from those that have lost children to adoption -

http://www.adultadoptees.org/forum/index...

http://origins-usa.org/

http://www.cubirthparents.org/

I wish you and your baby all the very best.

ETA: 'Open' adoptions are not enforceable - and the adoptive parent can do whatever they please once the ink has dried on the page. Be very aware.

Answer 13

I think you ought to check out this link to another questioner asked a couple days ago.

Adoption IS not what you think it is.  

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 14

Find an agency that does open adoptions and tell them that it's important to you to be able to choose adoptive parents, explain your reasons.

Answer 15

Find an adoption agency. Prospective adoptive parents are usually on a waiting list and the women who are pregnant can choose from that list. You'll get to find out their occupations, homes, families, why they want a baby, etc. I've provided links.

Best of luck!