How do I find my adopted Brother-in-law?

Question

Okay. I found out two years ago that my mother-in-law had a son after my husband and put him up for adoption. But two days ago I heard the real story about why she did it and what happened. It's really sad. But I was told that it was an open adoption. The people used to send her pictures and letters about him. But she couldnt handle having giving up a child so she stoped talking to them. All I know is that she saved his life right after she had him and that his name is Sam and he's 21. Everyone in the family wants to find him and meet him, but doesnt know how and is affraid to. How can I go about finding him without everyone else knowing?

Answer 1

You would have to get all his information from your mother in law in order to find him

Answer 2

I was able to find my bio-sister on Google.

Put in his b-day and name or any other info and see what pops up

For me it was a great disappointmemt and I wish I could have just kept it a fantacy. I thing she has an attachment disorder and we hit it off real well then she was just done and didn't need anything else from me :-(

Answer 3

If you can get some information from your mother in law it  would be easier.  If she at one time had an open adoption most likely she has some information that could help you such as surname, perhaps where they were living, an address at least from the last time she had contact with them.  You could also try doing a people search. Or as said register at adoption registry.  

Please be prepared that not all ‘reunions’ between birthfamiles are rose peachy as some may think, where you embrace straightaway  and exchange ‘I love you’s, I’m now complete’ etc.  It can be very painfully even more if one finds the person and they don’t want anything to do with you besides maybe getting some family medical history. It does happen I read the story of a girl  a few months ago well she found her birth sisters and had a relationship with two of them for about 6months, then they just abruptly stopped talking to her.

Best of Luck.

Answer 4

Contact the agency where the adoption occured I also gave a baby up for adoption he is now 22 and he has a relationship with my son.....he always wanted a brother and now he has one..this was an open adoption also and my sister whom I live next door to was given up for adoption by my mom before she married my dad....I knew from the letter (we used the same agency) that she wanted a sister just be prepared that you bil may not want to have contact with hi birth mom....I am lucky I stayed in touch with the first born and he is open to communicating with me I never refer to him as my son because he's not I was merely a vessel....now my sister on the other hand felt do much pressure from other people in the family to meet our mom that she only talks to me...since my husband passed away I moved to another state to be closer to her and we are next door neighbors! So you husband may be lucky enough to find a brother...Good Luck and God Bless!

P.S. it would also help if you knew the hospital and fate of birth when you contact the adobtion agency...

Answer 5

Well, not everyone wants to be "found", so please respect a person's privacy.  You can go to the Adoption Registry in the state where he was born, and register.  If he is wanting to also find anyone in his birthfamily, the Registry will put you in contact with each other.  

Tina's Adoption Search is a good website that teaches people how to search.

Answer 6

My husband was adopted when he was 5 yrs. He never found his biological family till his daughter wanted to do a family tree for school. I started searching with the info I had and found out that his parents were deceased, but that he had 4 sisters and 2 brothers and a whole bunch of aunts, uncles, cousins and such. They had been trying to find him for forty some years. He was the only sibling that hadn't been located. All the searching and a little bit of money opened up a whole new life for this family. Now they are complete. Too bad the parents couldn't have lived to see the reunion. What a miracle it was.I contacted several places on line, but the one that finally found the family, was adoptiondatabase.com or .org. It was several years ago and I'm not sure. Maybe the link below will get you started in the right direction. No matter what you decide to do, don't give up. It's well worth the effort.Good luck and God bless you and your family on your quest!