How do I firmly ask for my wedding video?

Question

My parents hosted my wedding in May of 2006 and we had alot of good family friends that helped out. It was wonderful, and I appreciated everything that was done for us, however it was problematic in one very important aspect. One of my mom's friends has done professional videography and offered her services as a wedding gift. Naturally we accepted and thanked her graciously. She was a bit overbearing while filming, acting as though that gave her the right to direct how things went, etc. but I did not pay much attention to that because overall the wedding was wonderful and I understood she was doing us a favor. As I mentioned before, we were married in May of 2006....STILL NO WEDDING VIDEO!!! I have casually mentioned it to her and even asked if we could just see the raw footage but she keeps assuring me she will get it to us. I ask about every 6 months or so but still nothing. Once she told me "dont worry I filmed my niece's wedding before yours and I havent gotten her tape finished yet either!" Wow, that makes me feel ALOT better! The last time I asked, she had just finished moving and said everything was still boxed up and...heres the kicker..."i havent even uploaded it off my video camera yet" Why does she think this is acceptable? Not only has she been inconsiderate making us wait 26 months but her offer kept us from hiring anyone else to do the job! I cant figure out how to approach her, as my previous attempts have not been successful. I think shes a little weird and Im afraid she might "lose" the footage if she thinks Im getting an attitude with her. I would honestly pay her for just the raw footage. WHAT SHOULD I DO???

Answer 1

I find it hard to believe this woman has done videography professionally, because she's not behaving in a very professional manner.  Unfortunately, there's not much you can do here.  She offered this as a gift, and you accepted as a gift--legally (and ethically) a gift is 100% voluntary.  You don't have any legal recourse here--your only hope is to appeal to her better nature.  

What I would probably do is contact her personally--not over the phone, but physically talk to her face to face.  Be very polite, but firm.  Explain that you're willing to pay her X number of dollars for the raw footage, maybe even have a laptop or a disk you can download it onto available.  Explain to her how important this is for you guys, that she has the only copy of your wedding footage, and you'd really like to have it.

I wish you all the luck in the world with this--I'm afraid though that you may already be out of luck--and THAT'S why she's stalling.

Answer 2

I have some bad news for you. The footage either didn't come out (maybe she forgot to put a tape in the machine) or she lost it. It makes no sense that anyone would block you for sooooo long. Use this company for reference, they are professional wedding videographer guys http://advancedvideo.50webs.com and you can see in their FAQ that this company completes the videos in 30 days. That tells you there is something wrong with your situation. She may be using that as leverage to hold over you. Forget about that video and move on. A smarter idea is to see if anyone else shot video at your wedding and piece those together. As a side benefit, if she does have the video, maybe when you start asking other relatives for their video footage, she may cough it up.

Answer 3

If she's your mothers friend ask her to talk to her. she may have better luck. Let her know how important it is to you.

Answer 4

Tell her you don't care if it has pretty sounds and cool add-ins. Tell her to GIVE YOU THE STINKING VIDEO! I would tell her directly that you just want the raw footage.

Answer 5

If you want to do it nicely (which given the circumstances you really don't need to) I have two ideas:

1. Tell her that you have so-and-so coming into town in a month or so and they weren't at the wedding and you really want to show them the video of it so even if she can give you the undedited version that would be great

2. Have your mom put the pressure on her since it's her friend

Answer 6

wow that's a lil crazy! is she the only one with a copy? if yes then just call her tell her that you need the tape if you can offer money, and tell her to pick a time and you'll be there

or you can tell her that you are putting together something special for your wife as anniversary gift and need the video to put clips of the wedding in you new video for your wife?