How do I fix my father?

Question

My dad has yelled and carried on for the past 3 years for me to do my work at school, but I, out of spite, didnt do much and suffered subpar grades. Now I'm a senior and took great interest in history and English over the summer and studied on my own time. And have not missed 1 hw assignment so far this year. Today he called me irresponsible because, since I do my work at school, I was watching tv lazily. After all my efforts this year, this made me flip and now he punished me for implying that he's a jerk. What should I do???

Answer 1

If you been doing so poorly on your grades. Its going to take some time before he is going to believe that you are serious about this. Show him your work, ask him what he thinks about it. Just make sure you make him know that you have changed. Shoot, he  may think you are lying about your hw just to watch tv. but like I said SHOW HIM!

Answer 2

Sounds like my step mom you really can't do anything just ignore him and do your work for you, at least you only have one year left with him

Answer 3

my dad has been an a** about school work and motivation and such since day 1.. i totally know how you feel, except i used his scare tactics to try hard.. but you know (its never enough...)

parents can be unreasonable. i know it soooo well..

they try to understand.. sorta not really.. and they FAIL miserably.

i usually blow up at my parents when they are being ***** or expecting to much out of me.. but it doesnt get me far.

using logic to explain that the ordeal which your father is not comprehending could maybe work..

or talk to your mom if you can and maybe she can back you up..

i hardly have an answer for this because i go through the same thing as well and can't solve it..

hope things get better and he lightens up!!! :]

Answer 4

Dad's are really bad about not seeing the big picture. You should try at a time when your not arguing to explain what you just said to a million strangers. It's very important not to get emotional don't raise your voice speak calmly and with confidence. He may still not understand or listen to what your saying. He is looking out for you maybe just not going about it the right way. Also you shouldn't sacrifice your future just for spite,You get no do over. Do your best follow your passion and get the best grades you can I as a parent wouldn't be able to argue with that.

Answer 5

you have to explain to him that you do your homework in school.... and the thing here is not to fix ur father, but to fix yourself too....

you go to school, finish homework, and then watch t.v...

do u even work???......and calling him a jerk makes you sound immature...do you do any chores around the house, which is your house too??? you have the time to help your parents around the house or even a part-time job, not just lay around lazily watching t.v.... plus you mentioned that you are a senior... it's time to mature boy.... you have to be studying and trying to find scholarships for universities...  

Answer 6

You cannot fix anyone.  Just fix yourself.  Stand up for yourself; but treat him with respect and he might come around.

Good luck!

Answer 7

Honestly? It's a tale as old as time. You know you're doing the right thing, aren't you? You're studying and hopefully doing well in school, and if he doesn't see that then it sucks for him.

You can't "fix" your dad, you can only learn his tricks. I understand the spite thing, I've been there myself, and I wouldn't dream of telling you to bull **** it and fake home work around him just to please him (I know I wouldn't do it), but if your dad's any kind of reasonable man perhaps if you sat down with him and showed him your spectacular grades and explained to him (calmly and rationally; after all, if your parents can't be the adults then you must) that you're appearing "lazy" because you've become a serious student and finish your assignments before you get home.

Then, of course, he could always suggest you get a job (if you don't already have one) to alleviate the lazy-symptoms.

He could just be one of those fathers that will nit pick at everything you do for the rest of your life for no reason (leading us back to the solution: ignore him. Well not blatantly, then he'll probably only get more upset).

Christopher Titus sums it up best in this joke: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZ3c5bJti...

As I said earlier, that really isn't much you can do other than try talking with him...if he respects you he'll probably listen...

Good luck XD

Answer 8

keep doing what you have been doing at school, if youdont you will only be hurting yourself and your future, when he sees your grades he will flip out!  show him what you can do by your grades, and he ill be swimming!

Answer 9

I would just talk to him about it and let him know that you now know how you messed up in the past and did not do your work at school. Then I would then ask what advice he has on how you can spend your time more wise at home. Make him feel important. Trust me sounds like he only wants you to do better then him in life. So just make him feel important. :) And does he know you did your work at school?

Answer 10

the same thing happened to me but i was abused and called dumb everyday.

you need to just keep your distance from him and act like hes not there try your best not to talk to him he will eventually shape up if he cares but if he still wont be rude to you i think you should just get an apartment man im sorry

Answer 11

He sounds like a jerk.

maybe you could take his mind of your work efforts and go fishing??

sorry, i dunno

you probably CANNOT fix him

he just needs to realize that you are a good kid.

Answer 12

Parents can be really annoying, even if he thinks you are irresponsible, that doesn't make you. Keep doing good in school and try to ignore him, if that is impossible tell him you are doing fine on your own, if your school is like mine, your grades are posted online and you can explain to him what you are doing right. Don't be afraid to explain how you feel to him if necessary. After all, it can't really be worse can it?

Answer 13

you cant fix your father my dads a racist a*****e to the point i nearly get into fist fights with him....the point is you cant change him hes always gonna think he knows whats best for you even though you know its not

Answer 14

Realize that he is lacking and do not let him hurt your esteem. It is unfortunate that he does not see what one h**l of a kid he has.

Answer 15

Escape, that's what I did, my dad kicked me out because I'm g*y and I dress differently than a lot of people . So I went to mums house forever :D and it's great here ! haha and now my dad is beging for me too come back and I'm just laughing at his sorry *** :D . Seriopusly what's up with dad's theese days ? Their so prejudice and miss understanding . ******* ignorant they are ..

Answer 16

ingnore him , and do your best for your own future , just tell him what do you really feel about him directly . IF he still barking , just be patient and continue to do your best !  

Answer 17

tell him that you're old enough to know what's good for you and to back off. and that your school work is your own problem/interest, not his

Answer 18

You cannot fix your father! The only person you can fix is yourself!

Answer 19

Really show him whos boss... dont do any work, fail in school and get a job digging ditches... live with him for 4 more years listening to him go on and on... that will show him.

Or you could grow up and do your best like you should have the last 3 years, then graduate and go away to school and be successful and never have to worry about what he says again.

Answer 20

do nothing but ignore him.  My mother was horrible about my school work.  If I closed my bedroom door she would practically take the door off the hinges screaming that I was not doing my home work when I was doing it.  Please don't hurt your self by not doing the homework out of spite, do it for yourself.  I wish I had all those years ago so that I could have go to college right away and threw that in her face.  Yet my sister being a 4.0 GPA student, yes perfect, that was not good enough for my mother either.  

Answer 21

Do what he says because it is with good reason that he is trying to prepare you for life.  He is probably more concerned with the possibility that you are not ready for life yet.  He just doesn't want you to be a failure.

Answer 22

Umm.  You're the one who needs fixing.  You haven't missed one homework assignment this year?  Wow!  School has been in session for how long?  1 week?  Maybe 2?

You are a senior in HS, you aren't a 10 year old kid anymore.  When you hit the 9th grade, you had a chance to shine and you didn't.  Sounds like he should have been tougher on you.

Get off the couch and do something.  Why don't you prove to him that you are trying.  You did your homework at school?  Great!  Bring it home and show it to him.  You're the putz.  Not him.  More parents need to get on their kids backs to make sure they do something with their lives.

Answer 23

You want to fix your Dad or get back at him.... then do what you need to do and prove him wrong.  Excel at school and when he gives you a hard time about being lazy you'll have the last laugh knowing that he's wrong.  Besides, doing bad in school ultimately just hurts yourself when it comes time to graduate and find a job or get into higher education.

Answer 24

Hi.

You don't fix dad or mom.

Take some time and explain to them what are you doing in school and how have you improved over time. when you approach make sure he is in good mood.

You need to communicate and gain their trust and create bonding between you two.

It will help but takes time.Keep up your good work in studies and love your family good luck .

Answer 25

what a d**k,...... go argue with him now and demand not not to be punished and take back what he said about you being irresponsible

Answer 26

Just try to keep your mouth shut and take it. It's not that bad if all he does is try to put you down a little. It's just him being ignorant, if you know you're doing your work then you shouldn't take much notice of it.

Answer 27

I think he wants you to do well academically.

You should just make sure you finish the year with decent grades and then once you go to college you can focus on what you really want to study.  Plus, you'll be away from home (probably), so your dad won't iritate you as often.

Answer 28

You said you didn't do much work the past few years.  You cant just expect him to think things would change this year.  Be happy you have a dad that cares enough to want you to do your best.  If he didn't love you he wouldn't give a d**n what you did.  Give him a break since you brought this on yourself.  Talk to him and show him what you have been doing.  

Answer 29

dont finish your job at school so you could have something to do at home, try watching tv when hes not around and try doing you job when he is..

Answer 30

Carry on with your hard work, dont be mad at him as this was quite normal. So this time, prove it to him with your good grades, that your finally studyin seriously.

Answer 31

Who cares what he thinks, this is your education, this is your responsibility to get good grades and make something of yourself... the only thing you can do now is do well, get a good job and be more succesful than your father, then you can shove it in his face in a few years time!