How do I fix my son's behavior?

Question

My son is seven, and for almost two years, he's been acting out. He gets really physical when we argue. He hits and kicks and curses and yells. He's had problems with a bully at school, but alot of the time, I've noticed that he is the instigator. Today, he got into a fist fight with another boy, and about 15 parents were staring at me and talking about us behind our backs. He always blames other children, and sometimes even me. For a while, my fiance and I have been breaking up and getting back together, which created a lack of security for him. Also, my parents (who have him often) use VERY different parenting tactics than I do. I don't know what to do. How do I change my son's anger issues before it's too late? Please help. I'm desperate!

Answer 1

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Answer 2

You know i don't want to be harsh here, but i have to say that some of it might be your fault ! YOU are the parent !  The one that is suppose to be in control ! Not the kid ! This is exactly what i always say to my friends and family, we see all this craps going on around the world on tv , because most people don't take their time and raise a kid the way it's suppose to be !When i was 7 not even in my dreams i would be able to do all this to my parents ! My dad only had to give me the "look " and i knew what was coming next if i didn't stop with my nonsense ! My dad spank me and my mother also , even more than spanking i would say , i wasn't raise here, and you know what ? i don't think my dad abuse me ! My Parents loved me ! Cause i know why my dad was doing it , it's so silly in this country the way people play with the raising of a kid ! Some places a spanking might get you in trouble ! Then my dad should be jail for life then ! so stupid ! I have 4 boys and 1 girl i dare them ! I dare them to do this things to me ! Never ! will never happen ! I love my kids , and it's because i love them i punish or spank them , when i have to ! Just like my dad did !And thanks to it, i don't smoke or drink  or wanted to kill no one like i see some teens do here ! Here people would see it as abusing , i had everything i needed, food on my table, all the toys i wanted, friends,clothes ,and love ! my parents were parents! Just like i am to my kids, they have everything they need, i play with them, we have movie nights, we have a regular family life,game nights, i will even sometimes play video games with them and lot of love between mom and child ! But they know also that you walk straight in my house ! And that in the moment that for one second you try to be like this kids here , then you are in so much trouble ! This is what most people don't get ! Kids are not grown ups ! They don't know any better ! That is why you are the parent to guide them ! Not to treat them like if they are  an adult just like you !

Answer 3

Why do your parents have YOUR child often?  You have to make up your mind, what is more important to you, having a man or having a well adjusted child.  Your son's problem isn't his fault.  You have NO consistency in your life and it makes your son's life totally inconcistent as well.  You can't raise a child like that and expect him to be well adjusted.  If you're going to split up with your boyfriend (he can't be your fiance if you're breaking up and getting back together all the time), then STAY split up, move on.

Answer 4

maybe he thinks hes forgotten and he wants attention.

Answer 5

call the rapair men  maybe that how u fix something

Answer 6

I think you have answered your own question. Instability in the home will make children act out. Maybe you need to get some family counselling and some parenting classes to try and get to the root of the problem. Your son is only going to get bigger and stronger and his behavour will also escalate ther is no shame in seeking professional help to sort this problem out. Your local doc may be able to assist you with getting help.

Answer 7

You and your fiance need to break if off for good. It is not good for your child to see and hear your arguing all the time. You need to have consistent discipline, and your parents need to use the same punishment so it is consistent and he knows what's going to happen if he misbehaves. I HATE it when a child acts out and people automatically say "Take them to a therapist." They don't need a therapist, they need their parents to guide them. They NEED and crave consistency and stability in their lives. Since you and your fiance cannot seem to provide that you need to stay apart and create, through the courts, a parenting plan, child support and visitation.

Answer 8

Spare the rod and spoil the child, he needs to know you are the parent and bad behavior brings bad consequences, that doesn't mean you beat him, but a good spanking will bring him back to reality. You will only need to do it once in most cases. You may have already spoiled him so much that he doesn't respect anyone else's feelings but his own which is a very bad place to be.

Answer 9

It sounds like youre son could benefit from seeing a competent and compassionate  child psychologist .

It also sounds like he could benefit from a good spanking .

Answer 10

Sounds like to me that he is just calling out for attention. Young boys need lots of love and attention from their mums more so than from their dads, well mine does anyway. Dads need play time to. I find that if i have lots of hugs and kisses watch his shows with him etc then i tell him now it's mum time. my boy is 9 now he tends to get worse at school when he hasn't had enough sleep and if i give him fruit juice in a popper along with sweet snacks eg rice bubble bars. you think these things are ok but they have a lot to answer to.It's really important that you let him know that you are the boss, never make a threat that you are not willing to Carry out. stare him out make him look you in the eye, get down to his level and speak firmly don't yell. re-enforce what you have told him again get him to sound it back to. ask your parents to do the same and tell them that they need to follow the same techniques in order for you to get anywhere

Answer 11

i used to act like that so my parents sent me to obidience school i thought it was torture but i graduted from prinston and everyone loves me so tr sending him to an obidience school

Answer 12

I think at this point in time he is stilll young and youare not too late to fix his behavior. He might be acting out for attention. maybe you should plan about to days out of the month just for you and him to be together and show him that he has all of your love and support. Hopefully this will make him feel more confident and he will be happier and not want to start conflicts or get angry.Also you shouldn't argue with him that makes him feel like you are and equal and not a superior. you want him to know that even though you are his friend and you will always be there for him you are his mother and everything you tell him is for his own good. Next time you two have differences just talk to him in a calm voice......he will not yell at you if you do not fuel his fire good luck!

Answer 13

I agree with Vera W. I did the same thing with my son who was spoiled by my parents. I can't blame him for acting up... I wasn't around all the time due to my job. Kids don't understand that the reason why you have to work is to provide for them. I took 3 weeks off to spend time with him... the first 2 weeks were tough but now, he loves to be around me. By the way, he's almost 7. I think it's normal to crave for attention. I am a single mom and I made him my priority.