How do I forgive myself for poor decisions I've made in the past?

Question

I grew up very fast. At the age of 13, I was hanging out with much older people. I started abusing drugs, alcohol and having s*x at 13. I made some VERY poor decisions and I chose to live a fast lifestyle for a longtime. I'm now 23 and I'm on the right path finally. I'm running my own business now, I still party but in moderation. I have been clean from drugs for 3 years now. I don't hook up with random guys anymore. I'm proud of myself for getting my life together but I still can not forgive myself for letting myself down and my family down for so long. I go to counseling now and it does help to extent but my counselor says I have to find it in myself to forgive myself. Has anyone gone through anything similar to this? If so do you have any advice? Thank you in advance.

Answer 1

Give youre life to christ.

Answer 2

I can't say I went through something similar, but in a way I have. I chose the exact opposite path as you had... no drugs ever, never party, barely drank, and I'm still a virgin at 24 years old. I'm still trying to sort my life out and part ways with my parents and family who have done nothing but take my life away from my control. I worked young to support them and their drug habits, and keep my siblings fed and sheltered. It took away my will to give myself a future but now I am back in college and trying to become a police officer to make a difference in lives. I can't hate my parents though, I forgive them for their mistakes and the life I've lived, because you can't be happy until you find absolution.

You are a different person and you should be proud of yourself. Not many people can make a complete change as you have and to run a business at 23 is amazing. I have much respect for you... I think doing what you have is harder than coming from a great household and being successful. You gave into temptations and then completely gave that life up to be better. You have my respect... keep doing well and be proud of the new you.

Answer 3

Mistakes are mistakes, everyone makes them no matter how severe. I think your counselor is right, you need to find it in youself. You are now successful and heading down the right path, be proud of yourself for that. Think of how far you've come, and how far your going to go. Also, those experiences made you stronger, love yourself for that, and forgiveness will come.

Answer 4

Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself.  

What is past is past and your trials have made you the strong and good person that you are today!

Forgiveness is the mental, emotional and/or spiritual process of ceasing to feel resentment, indignation or anger against another person for a perceived offense, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution.

Answer 5

You know what you did wrong and the mistakes you made. Have you turned your life around? I would say most definitely ... rather than be ashamed of what you were or did be proud of what you are doing and accomplishing now. We cannot change the past we can only do our best in the future.

Answer 6

Haven't been through anything similar, but I just wanted to ask you to do this simple exercise. Put someone else in your shoes. If it was a friend of yours saying the exact things you just told us, wouldn't you just feel proud of them. Really proud of them for finding the strength to get back on track again? Why not do that for yourself as well. It's that simple. What you did is remarkable. Focus on that and leave the past behind.