How do I get a 16 year old to do as their told?

Question

I am 19 and am looking after my 16 year old sister who refuses to do as she is told, she will stay out late all the time, drink in the house, stay up all night on the phone ect

How do I get her to do as she is told?

Answer 1

dont boss her around treat her the way you wantad treated when you were 16 and remember theres only a 3 year age gap

Answer 2

That's a tough situation. The important thing is that you treat and speak to her as an adult. Maybe you could explain the reasons why you're not happy, and ask why she's behaving like this.

She'll need you to show her respect and let her know how much you care, without being too directive. It's hard, but the calmer you are the calmer she'll stay.

Try to remember how hard it is being 16. You are pretty young yourself to be 'looking after' a 16 year old - are you getting the support you need?

Answer 3

Well I am about her age and when I don't listen, my daddy threatens to take off his belt.

Thank you and good day.

Answer 4

You do what every other parent does when faced with unruly kids -- you calmly lay out the consequences for undesirable behavior, and if she crosses the line, apply the consequences.  She earned the consequences, so no drama required, right?

1.  Lock up the alcohol, or get rid of it entirely.  Remove temptation.

2.  Take the phone away from her after 9 pm.  If she continues, take it away for a week.  If she does it again, she loses it.

3.  If she stays out late, GROUND HER.

4.  Deprive her of good stuff -- computer access, driving, cell phone, going out with friends, etc. as consequences.

It's tough, because at 19, you don't have a lot of perceived authority.  Is this temporary, or are you doing this without any parental authority?  Either way, just remember to be firmly, but calmly consistent.  Good luck -- teenagers are hard enough for adults, it must be h**l for a 19 year old!

Answer 5

Yeah right, this has to be the stupidest question of all time, did you ever do what you were told when you were 16 ?

I can understand where you are coming from but seriously do you expect your sister do do anything you tell her when she has some freedom, she aint telling. She's 16 for ****s sake, she will grow up eventually but at the moment you've got it a little bit tough, as long as she isn't having parties the just keep an eye on her, trust me, it's all you can do.

Answer 6

At that age, they hate being told what to do.

She'll get over it in...a few years...but i really don't know what to tell you...its an age thing,sorry.

try sending her away to boarding school...people there wont take no **** from her!

x*x

Answer 7

it might b hard 2 feel u gotta listen 2 some1 only 3 yrs older than u

but u gotta show her that your in charge while your parents are gone

and if she continues to break the rules and not listen to u ground her and tell your parents when they get back that she disrespected you and they rules the whole time

Answer 8

take out all the drinks you have in the house and put them somewhere where she won't look at.  take out her cell phone (if she has one) and also turn off her power for her room outside the house so that she can't do anything.

Answer 9

Where are your parents? They should be looking after her, not you. If they can't for some reason, then I think you might need help, it's a bit much responsibility for your age. Also, you're not much older than her so she wouldn't see you as an authority figure.

Answer 10

To be honest. Its really impossible. She is 16 and she feels like she is too old to be "bossed around" by her big brother. The more you push to get her to do what you want, the more she will push away from you. You just cant do it. Like seriousy. Think back 3 years ago when you were 16. How would you react if your older sister just bossed you around. You just wouldnt have any of it. Its impossible...sorry lol.  

Answer 11

1. take the phone away lock it some were thats she cant get to.

2. dont give her any money coz in the end her m8z will end up getting anoyyed coz she cant chip in.

3. kepp booze out of reach.

If shes not old enough to come in and do as she is told then shes not old enough to go out in the first place good luck x

Answer 12

Think about what your Dad would do if he was there?

Would he spank her ars*?

Sounds like she is trying to see how far she can push you, I know when my sisters used to play about I would spank their ars*s for them but that led to other things which I mustn't mention here lol and still does lol

By the way Lori, does Daddy only threaten to take it off or does he lol?

Answer 13

Call your parents and tell on her. It sucks.. but its the only way

Answer 14

You are in a tough place. A sibling only 3 years younger than you has no reason to listen to you as an authorative figure. And why should she? Why not act like her big brother and her friend instead of her dad.

Throw away all alcohol in the house if it is a problem. Take away the phone if it is a problem. Don't let her go out if she won't come home on time.

Answer 15

take her out shopping and talk to her while your out,

then when you get home play a game or something with her

built up you and her relationship. make sure you give her advise and then eventually she will trust you

then do as shes told  

Answer 16

It's gonna be difficult as you are so close in age. It's hard to view a person 3 years older than you as an authority figure.

Nobody likes being told what to do - you have to be cleverer than that. You have to talk to her rather than talk at her - and have a laugh sometimes together.

As i don't know what either of you is like, I can't really help much, but maybe shifting the situation from: "disobedience = punishment and shouting" to "Obedience = Bonuses like going out for a meal, going to cinema" might help? It's called positive reinforcement.

You don't say why you are in this position, but 19 is awfully young to have such responsibility - have you looked around for support organisations?  

Answer 17

I don't think it was fair of your parents to leave you responsible for such an immature, disrespectful 16 year old teenager.

I would call your parents and ask their advice, since she is THEIR responsibility, not yours.

Unless she is doing things that are unsafe, I think you just have to let her do what she is doing but let her know that you will be telling your parents everything she does.

Answer 18

Because she is 16 you have absolutely no right to tell her what to do.

Answer 19

Keep a log of everything she is doing, tell her you are doing it and then show it to your parents when they get back.