How do I get my 13 month old to stop trying to stand up in the tub?

Question

He's too big (and mobile) for bath seats and he loves his bath, but he keeps trying to pull up with the side of the tub and stand up. I sit him back down and tell him "no" because its dangerouse and try to divert his attention, but whenever I sit him down, he gets upset and I can't distract him and bathtime's over. Any ideas?

Answer 1

If he wants to stand up because he wants out, I'd probably keep the baths short. Get the shampoo and everything else done immediately, and remove him if he decides he's done.

The other question is whether or not he's just testing limits and he actually does want to be in the bath? Can you give him a choice? Choices for toddlers sometimes can avert a meltdown, but if you're already close enough to bedtime that he's pretty easily upset, then even that may not work.

In that case, I'd do exactly the same, which is to get everything essential done immediately. Then give him a clear choice: Do you want to Sit Down or Get Out? Ask him a few times, so he's clear, and then if he doesn't Sit Down, then tell him, Okay, then Mommy will take you Out. If you do a few repetitions of this, he's going to learn that he has a choice.

Rather than forcing him (which isn't working, so stop!), you're teaching him that he has choices, and his choice may have a consequence.

My kids always got put into their cribs when they tantrumed. I figured that tired kids threw fits, and tired kids need naps.

(Tired mommies of tantruming kids need naps, too!)

Anyway, you're just starting a really interesting phase. They have their own ideas, and they're testing them out. Your job is to stay calm, get everything necessary done, be clear, and consistent, so he can see where the consequences will be. Standing up in the tub means being asked to Sit Down or you'll be out of the tub (and probably put in the crib for a nap).

Never get into a power struggle with a toddler. Remember that you're bigger, stronger, and you really DO have all the control-- which is why they're tantruming. As helpless as you feel, remember that they have next to no control in their lives. This is about the age when they're figuring it out, and it is VERY frustrating. Keep your cool, stay calm, and remember that this is their developmental task to figure all this out.

It's good when they're little and you can still disconnect their feet from the floor and they can be confined in a crib for a little longer. ;-) Just wait until they're 15!

Answer 2

I know he's young and it might seem like it is overtalking, but this is what I have found works really well.  He won't understand all of it, but over time he learned the gist.  First I set the limit of no standing up in the bathtub.  When he stands up I tell him that he needs to stay sitting, sit him back down, and give him a choice of which one of his toys he wants.  When we first started I would do this two or three times so that he would understand what was going on.  After that I would tell him that if he stands up again he needs to get out of the tub.  If he does bath time is over.

Essentially I did the same thing you're doing except I talk it through more.  I don't expect him to understand all of "You need to stay down", "keep your bum down" or "stay sitting down" but it is better than 'no'.  "No" just signifies that something is negative, not what it it is, which can be confusing.  If you have to end bath time because he's upset or won't listen that is good.  It is enforcing your limit of no standing up in the tub.  If he can't stay sitting down in the tub he needs to not be in the tub.  He can try it again next time.  This is a great thing to do.

I'm sure you have, but make sure that there's nothing distracting for him around the sides of the tub that he is wanting to stand to get.  Just keep enforcing it.  It'll get better.

Answer 3

Really the only way is to do CONSTANT redirection (and then reinforce by lots of praise when he is doing it correctly).

As soon as he stands up gently redirect his behavior by sitting him down. Try to catch him BEFORE he actually stands up and redirect to sitting behavior. Keep doing it with no giving in.

Good luck. It may take several attempts at redirction before he "gets it"

Answer 4

umm.......well, you should keep him busy with little toys all in the bathtub and keep him down, u should let him learn that he cannot stand up. Let him know that u are not gonna let him just stand up all the time, unless u want it to be an unbreakable habit

which turns into bigger problems!