How do I get my 2 year old to stop saying NO. It's not just an opinion but an attitude!?

Question

My 2 year old son (almost 3) has gotten into a NASTY habit of saying NO to me for EVERYTHING I ask him to do. And not just the terrible two kind, but the obnoxious stubborn kind of NO! Granted he has a 10 year old brother, but I can't even blame it on him, he says no to me less than his little brother does!

I've gotten so frustrated lately that I've resorted to time outs or a spanking (depending on how fresh he gets)!!! I'm at a loss of how to get him to break this habit! I don't want him to be subserviant, but I would like him to actually pick up his juice cup when he throws it and I ask him to (jus as an example).

Answer 1

That's a normal phase that pretty much every kid that age goes through.

I'm more concerned about you.  Where is all this anger coming from?

EDIT:  Spanking is not a normal part of parenting for all parents.  It's a choice you make.  But if it is a method of discipline you chose to use, it should never be done out of frusteration.

Just take a breath, ground yourself, and administer consistent, predictable discipline once you've calmed down.  It's just a phase and it will pass.

Answer 2

Wow, do we have the same kid!?  LoL, I actually I have a daughter who is 2.  She says no for everything.  

When Addison throws something on the ground for example....  "Addison, pick up your cup." (firm voice)  "NO!!" (then Addi's evil eye look!)  .....I take her by the hand, take her to her cup, get down eye level with her, tell her again......I do not stand up or let go of her hand until she picks it up.  

Not once will she ever get away with telling me no after asking her to do something.  Keep firm and consistent.

If she refuses or if she continues with the No word.....time out.  She has to know every single time there is a consquence.  Not only the time out, but having to do whatever it was she was told as well.

Another thing...when my husband talks to her...he uses to many words and it confuses her or she loses interest in what he is saying....short attention spand.  So instead of him saying, "Addison, can you go over there and pick up the cup on the floor that you throw?"  I am having my husband use short to the point phrases like... "Addi, pick up your cup" "Addi, nice to the kitty"

One other thing that is really really hard to do, but us as parents not say all the negative words to our kids like (no, stop it)    We are trying to say things like.  Lets be nice of the animals, Lets be gentle with the baby.  On example:  Addison is pulling on the door "Outside play mommy"  instead of saying NO, I say later I promise, lets pick up inside toys first.

Good Luck!

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Sorry posting again....I sympthize with you so much!

Ok more example of what I have started doing.  When I know she is going to get upset.....I distract her, for example.  She hates bed time.  So instead of saying "Addison, time for bed"  I say "Hey Addi" (in my fun exciting voice)  do you want to go read Hop on PoP!!!?(fav book).  And she squeals with excitement "Yeah!"  So when we get to her room, I say well lets put some comfies on and THEN we will read HOP on POP....and both of us together goes through her pj drawer and we pick out her PJs....I even let her pick out the mix/match shirt and pants......whatever....pick your battles, right!  So then I say lets go lay down in your bed and read.  And I let her interact with me while reading the book, the kid has the book memorized....so she mostly reads it to me.  Then before I know it the book is over and she is ready to pass out.

Another Example:  She hates bath time........so instead of saying, "Addison its bath time".  I get everything ready, the bath water, the toys, and the bubbles to make it fun!  Then I go and get her and say " Hey Addi do you want to play with bubbles" (exciting voice) and she squeal YAY.  

So I think for us....when I use better tones in my voice and make everything I want her to do that is in our routine fun for her......she has been gettting alot better.  I think I have finally gotten my little diva figured out.  It took me having to stay home with her to get her figured out.  But well worth it.  She use to be in daycare and she always came home frustrated and angry.  So I am now doing all this...dealing with the two year old and tending to my 6month old son.   AHHH life can be crazy.  

I really hope this helps you, it has tremendously helped me.  Good Luck Again

Answer 3

Main thing is pick a discipline and do it consistently and for a while it will feel like that is all you do.  If you do it EVERYTIME he will know he can't get by with it AT ALL.  Good Luck Momma!

Answer 4

If you haven't already tried this: Try to give him choices that can't be answered with 'no'. "Would you like milk or orange juice?" or "the red shirt or the blue shirt?" when you would like him to do things - like take a bath - just go start running water and putting his fav toys in etc. Or try to make him think it's his idea. In preventing the opportunity for him to refuse will help you be less frustrated and show him that there are choices out there that he may actually like. It's just a theory - and may not work all the time, but just stick with it and remember that this will pass. Having older siblings always seems to make this period longer then it needs to be

Answer 5

i have the EXACT problem with my 2 1/2 year old son..