How do I get my 3 year old to go to bed at night?????

Question

She pounds on her door so loud because she doesnt want to go to bed. I try to ignore her but she pounds louder and louder. I mean, I will check on her, but it's just that she doesn't want to go to bed in her room or go to bed at all. Spanking her doesn't do anything and I can't put her in time out because I would have to take her out of her room to do it and that's what she wants.

It's been over a month now, she stays up all night and sleeps during the day. It's starting to really take a toll on me. Milk doesnt make her tired. She doesn't take naps. She's very active all day so I don't understand why she doesn't get tired at night. She is very stubborn and doesn't even listen to me. What are some things I can try, short of taking her to the dr, as that will be a last resort.

Answer 1

A good book to help you could be healthy sleep habits, happy child.  

First off you need to have a bed time routine and a set bed time.  Stick to it religiously.  If she gets out of bed put her back in it.  Simple.  She will learn quickly to stay there.  Also make her get up in the morning no sleeping past 8:30am  

Our schedule goes like this

6:30 Bath time

7 Jammies and pick up toys

7:30 in bed read 1-2 books give hugs and snuggles

8:00pm LIGHTS OUT!!!

No children out of bed after 8 unless the house is on fire or someone is sick.  Good luck.

Answer 2

Put her in her bed and tell her she has to go to bed. There is no staying up there is no sleeping all day. Then just hold her down so she can't get out. Not so hard that you hurt her, but enough to keep in her bed. Tell her you'll read her a story or sing to her, but that's if you don't have to hold her down some.

This site might be able to help you out. http://parenting.ivillage.com/tp/tpsleep...

Good luck as I know this can be very hard.

Answer 3

Strict routine. Bath books & lights out

Answer 4

dont let her sleep at all during the day. never spank!!! you must  be a single/young parent. give her a bath, read to her, try a night light/music.

Answer 5

If it's like 6:00 or 8:00 make her go watch T.V until she fall's asleep and with cookie's and milk thats how my 11 year old sister is but she take's 2 hours 2 sleep but she eats nothing.... but leave her with peace or she will get annoyed and want more time with theT.V.

Hope i helped!!

                    

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Answer 6

Make a chart for her. She gets a star every night that she doesn't pound (or even knock) on the door after bedtime routine [brush teeth then bath time followed by a massage (buy a massage book to find out how to do it best -- "Infant Massage" by Vimala McClure is my favorite!)] and you've said your last good nights (with hugs and kisses) for the night.  

Answer 7

Make something nice out of going to bed. Such as a bath with toys then a rub down with bedtime lotion. Read her a book or tell her a story. Maybe get her one of those lamps with projection so that stars shine on her walls.  Don't' shut her into her room it will make it seem like she is in trouble and will not like to go there.  If she watches tv take the tv out of there.  Make a bedtime routine and no yelling be calm so she enjoys it.  

Answer 8

MAybe she is getting overtired? That can sometimes trigger tantrums.

Put a TV in her rrom with a few Dora DVD's (or whichever cartoon sparks her interest) and that way when she goes to bed she can watch TV and maybe stay there.

Take the door off and put up a baby gate.

Answer 9

I think you need help from a doctor now, as things seem very much out of hand.  In your second paragraph, you said she stays up all night and sleeps during the day, but then you say she doesn't take naps and is real active during the day.  I need a little more information here.  I would not allow her to sleep during the day if she is going to keep you up all night.  If she falls asleep, wake her up.  She needs to be tired at night and if you let her sleep during the day then she will keep you awake at night.  Children this age need one nap provided they sleep well at night.  She is not doing that.  Also, you should establish a bedtime routine.  Most children at 3 go to bed between 8 and 8:30.  I am a nanny/babysitter and I babysit for many children around this age group.  Most parents have their children take a warm bath about 8, go potty, change into their pajamas, brush their teeth, drink a glass of water, and then read one story of their choice, then they are tucked in with a blanket and some familiar toys and most children have a night light in their room.  The door should stay open.  You might have to rub her back to help her calm down and settle down, but no harsh words regardless of how tired you are.  The main thing again is consistency and no naps in the day.  If this does not work, please see a doctor, child counselor/behaviorist to see what other tips they can give you.  Good luck!

Answer 10

make her stay awake during the day. cut out any naps she may have and when it comes to bed time, tuck her in and say goodnight, don't stay in there too long and if she gets up, walk in, put her back in bed but don't talk to her, be persistant with this. another option is to put her into bed and sit in the room with her but don't look at her. face away from her and when she gets up, put her back in bed, she will soon get the point that bed is bed. it is very important that after you've said your initial goodnight that you don't say anything else to her. it will be hard and you may get upset but it will work.

Answer 11

Not sure how much i agree wit the spanking but hey i'm sitting in a child free house. it gets pretty hectic with kids. have you tried offering little prizes or something to get her into bed like maybe you could have pieces of chocolate or try reading her stories. h**l maybe playing tag with her before bed just to get her tired out. Make bedtime a little more fun or something. Another thing would be to just let her out and get all tuckered out that way and see if you can't sit her down in front of a film on the tv or something. let her out for short spells if she's very quiet. The important thing is to make sure not to make the bedroom some sort of prison.

Answer 12

Is your household on a schedule? Is there a "wind down" time where you don't get her all revved up? Have you tried a snack and juice and a story? Is she accustomed to her room? If not, try and naps with her i her room and leave the room when she is asleep. Do you spend enough time with your daughter to fulfill her needs? Maybe she is doing this only to get attention. Is she scared of going to sleep at night because something frightened her one night while she was sleeping?

Its hard to answer this question.

Spanking her is not going to accomplish anything because you are punishing her for something that she doesn't know she needs to be doing. (Not saying spanking is wrong, I was spanked, and I'm sure my daughter will be too). I would just work with her instead of becoming frustrated. Kids feed off of their parents. If you are frustrated because she is not going to bed, your frustration is going to make her stay up longer.

Hope this helps!

Also, there might be a chance of her being overly tired if she does not take naps during the day.  

Answer 13

Hi there I have a 4 year old son who, not so long ago was doing the same thing!

1st of all,do NOT give her a tv and dvds, as suggested as above!

Please dont take this the wrong way, but you may need a little reminder who is the boss! You're the mummy, and shes just going to have to learn and accenpt that!

My plan with my little man was this. I hope it helps......

Step 1: Let her have the door wide open and a night light on in the hall if you can.

Step 2: Put a baby gate at the door.

*The reason for doing these 2 steps is to reassure her and make sure she feels safe, and secure in her surroundings. The door open means she can hear her parents and the light means that she can see whats going on outside of her bedroom. It will also help that she wont feel so alone*

Step 3: Give her a daily routine. Set a time for getting up, for meals and for bed time.

Step 4: During the day, get out and take her for walks, play at the park, or see if you can enrol her in a preschool, or kindergarten oc childcare center for a few hours a day. Whatever you do, do NOT let her nap.

Step 5: About an hour before you have decided that bedtime is going to be, give her a small, bland, sugar free snack. Maybe some crackers or toast and a glass of warm milk. Then give her a deep, warm bath and let her soak for about 30 mins. Get her out, towel her and dress her. Take her to her bedroom and read ONE story to her in bed. Sing a song, kiss her and tell her that you love her, turn out the light, close the gate and LEAVE!

Do not go in to her AT ALL. Its very hard the first night, but the more you go to her and settle her, the more she will scream. Just leave her untill she goes to sleep.

*Do this every day and every night and you WILL see results in 4 days or less. The crying gets less and less very quickly once she realizes you're not going to give in!

GOOD LUCK!