How do I get my 4 yr old to stop crying in preschool when I drop him off??

Question

He will be starting kinder in a couple months and we were doing really good for a while there but the last couple of mornings we have started all over again with the crying at the door and the teacher has to pull him off of me. I'm afraid he will do it when he gets to real school and they will kick him out or something. I really try to make his mornings good before preschool but I'm starting to get frustrated again...any good advice??

Answer 1

Drop him off and leave quickly.  His cries are genetically designed to pull your heart strings.  You are forcing him to grow.  growth can be painful, but not as destructive as it sometimes feels.

Answer 2

I teach kindergarten and usually we have one cryer out of 80 kindergarten kids the first day.  From a teacher's perspective,  put your child on the bus and make a clean break on the curb.  He should be happy by the end of the ride.  If you must drive him to school, be brief and matter-of-fact and LEAVE!  He will be fine and any tears will quickly dry once the fun begins.  Parents tend to perpetuate problems by feeding into their child's anxiety and the child quickly learns how to manipulate the situation.  Gain the promise from his teacher that she will call if he is miserable and perhaps you can do a graduated length of day if needed. PLEASE DO NOT HANG OUT IN THE CLASS -YOU WILL ONY MAKE THINGS WORSE.  Be firm and walk away.  Be assured that there will be tons of staff to escort your child to the room and he will NEVER roam the building.  Good Luck - be strong for your child.

Answer 3

Find a favorite toy or activity in the classroom and sit down and play for a few minutes until he is involved.  Don't forget you have to say goodbye and leave, the longer you stick around the longer he will continue to cry and throw a fit.  In most cases, the child will only cry for a minute or two after you are gone, if that.

Answer 4

The best way to help him is to talk a lot with him. Tell him he will have fun at school and mommy will be back to pick him up. Talk to his teacher and ask her how he is getting along with the other kids. Do not stay in class with him and don't get frustrated either. This behavior is very normal and soon he will stop it.

Answer 5

Give him money $$

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Answer 6

When you in the car driving, talk about the things you plan on doing when you pick him up. Take him to the door of his class, (don't walk in)

Say, okay see you tonite, give one kiss hug (don't make a big deal) and walk away.

sometimes, mine still cry and they are 9 and 6 yrs old, but on the most part, he'll get and stop.  Just don't make a big deal of  leaving.

Also, kids like to make a big scene and as soon as the parent leaves, they are fine.

Answer 7

I suggest staying with him, let him show you his favorite place to play or get him started on an art project and tell him that you can't wait to see it when you pick him up.  Get him engaged in some activity first, don't just leave him at the door.

The teacher should also be able to help, she should call him over and get him interested in some activity.

Also, this happens to many children.  Just to let you know from experience, the children usually calm down less then five minutes after the parents leave.

Answer 8

Perhaps you could have a nighttime walk and explain that noone can seperate you because of your magic in your heart and your lucky____. (keychain shaped like a heart; special note,picture of you together) tell your little one that when you feel sad you take out your special token and it always makes you smile. Give this to your little one and tell them you hope they take good care of it and anytime they miss you to take that from their pocket and know you will be there soon because you can feel the magic!

I hope this helps.

Answer 9

Promise him candies or playtime, some fun activities you guys will do when he gets home from school if he is a good boy and just goes to class without crying.  Make sure to be comforting and use a soft tone.

Answer 10

you can start off asking your child some questions ,did you ever think why the change he has had ,then explain to the child that you are going to put him down at school and what you are going to do and come back and pick him up ,

when you get into the school put him in and kiss him and say your goodbye and dont take long then ask the teacher if you can sit in the office and you will see that he will settle in really fast ,because the child sees the parent sad then they start crying .

Answer 11

I suggest that you have small discussions everyday about going to school and being a big boy (or girl) and let him know that you are very proud of him.  Give him hugs and let him know that you will be back.

it is always hard, but he/she will get use to it.

Answer 12

Take this as a good sign. He's securely attached and that speaks wonders for his emotional health in the future. He'll have to grow out of it at his own pace. Teachers deal with this very frequently.

Answer 13

You got to try to talk some sense into him. Tell him to stop it.

Answer 14

Ok well i am a preschool teacher and i have found that the best way to help children is take a picture you and him and let him put it in his cubby and from time to time if he starts to miss you he can go over and look at it.  it seems to help my children in my classroom.

Answer 15

explain his day to him asure him your coming back then leave he will stop soon after you have gone hes just worried about you my son is the same he is 6 now and at school he has the same performance everyday now i chose to take no notice get his clothes for him and take him to school once im out of the picture he is fine and enjoys school it is an attention problem

Answer 16

Try to go in a little bit earlier and stay and play with him for a bit.  Before you know it, he will be off playing with the other kids and won't even know you're gone.

Answer 17

Read him the book The Kissing Hand--same sort of issue. You could do this with your son for a day or two. Make sure to not prolong your exit. Literally walk in, put his stuff down, kiss him and tell him when you'll be coming back. Then, calmly separate yourself from him and walk away. I used to teach preschool and many parents prolong leaving and stick around to chit chat with the teachers, etc. Do this when you pick him up, not drop him off. He'll settle in after a week or two. If not, then I'd suggest switching preschools or taking him to your pediatrician--especially if it's happening again after him being fine for awhile. Is there a change at home? Is Daddy going on longer business trips? Are you or your hubby working longer hours than before? Are you pregnant or do you have a new little one or even a baby or toddler that's getting more attention than in the past? All of these life changes could be contributing to his new (old) behavior.

Answer 18

Since day 1 i always cried and now im in the 11th grade and i still cry

Answer 19

they say a child does this because they fear abandonment - maybe you could try to reasure him youll be returning to pick him up -

give him a watch and show him what 3:30 looks llike and tell him when the watch looks like this you know i am comeing to get you -

or give him something before he gets out of the car in the morning and say ( childs name ) i need you to do womething real important for me - i need you to hold onto this peice of paper until i pick you up because mommy is scared she will loose it and i know your a big boy and i think you can keep it for me until you get done at school today and when i pick you up you can give it back to me -

simple ways of reasurring that youll be returning ( other than telling him/her ) may help -

here is a website that you can ask a professional that you know is a professional - everything ive told you is what ive heard from watching tv shows and reading - good luck

http://www.ldonline.org/experts

Answer 20

I am presuming that you have no issues with the school or the teachers in his room.

Liieach and bbmecum know their stuff, but the one thing no one has asked is how are you doing emotionally? Some children pick up on Mom's blue days very easily and will react emotionally themselves.

The advice you received to stay in the room is WRONG!! In my experiences the BEST course of action is to NOT MAKE ANY BIG DEAL OUT OF THIS - if you do you are protraying insecurities to your child! Don't talk about this at all to him or in front of him!! Take him to school, wave at the teacher, say goodbye and I'll be back at the end of the time and TURN YOUR BACK AND WALK AWAY!!!!

Good luck!!

Answer 21

Have you asked your son why he is crying? Perhaps something is wrong in preschool? Perhaps someone has hurt him or frightened him?

Answer 22

I have 3 children and I used to run my own daycare.  You need to ask your child's teacher how long he cries after he is dropped off, and you are out of site.  Most of the time, the tears are for your benefit.  Your son loves loves you and wants to be with you, he is not happy to be dropped off and to leave you and he wants you to know this.  BUT (in most cases) a few seconds after you are out of site,he probably has a wonderful day, plays with friends, interacts with his teacher, and learns new and exciting things.  By the time you pick him up, you have felt guilty all day, and he is happy as can be with no memorry of the morning tears.  This is why God made them so cute - just kiss that adorable face and listen abut his craft project, and get ready for a another hard morning the next day.

Once he is in kindergarten, he'll feel more 'grown-up' and in control of things.  The crying might be there the first few weeks, but it will stop.

Hope this helps :)

Answer 23

He is going through Separation Anxiety - you can read about it here or search it. This will tell you what it is, what he is going through, and how you can deal with it.  I am a Psychology major and when we went over this in life span development this helped me a lot.