How do I get my brother to stop ACCEPTING physical punishment?

Question

OK, please help me explain to my brother that it is not normal that our father still gives him physical punishments (on top of grounding and chores).

He is 17 years old and he is like the coolest and toughest guy in our school and he is a straight A student and nobody knows that he still gets beaten by our dad when he does something wrong.

He usually gets it with his belt or a wooden stick on his back.

My brother says there is nothing wrong with that and dad only wants what's best for him and that it doesn't bother him. I think he;s been brainwashed to believe that because of course it must bother him because his back gets bruised and it obviously hurts a lot. My brother is into sports and is strong and he could certainly take dad physically if he wanted to. But he just willingly submits to this.

Our dad is never angry when he does it, it is more like a ritual, he tells him when and that could be days ahead (which I think is the torture in itself, waiting for it)

I am 16 and I would never let dad hit me like that!

I asked this question before but all I get is stuff like ''call CPS'', ''tell a teacher''...this is not an option. I need an advice on how to get my brother to stop taking the beatings and relize he is too old for this and that it does him no good.

Answer 1

Your brother is already Old so in my opinion he already knows what's right and what's wrong and there is no more need for him to beaten like that in a small kind of faults.

Try talking to your father or if you can't go directly to your father try talking it over with your mom and convince her to talk it with your father.

Answer 2

He needs an iron backbone quick. I hope he's not just saying there's nothing wrong with that to cover up the fact that there IS something wrong with it.

'A' student... he should use some of his essay skills to argue his opinion and if your dad doesn't listen..the your dad's c**p and stubborn. Infact... your dad's still using violence to teach your bro... sounds like your dad needs to grow up seeing your bro's old enough to TALK sense into.  

asn to your Q. Argue about rights over the dinner table. Maybe your bro will side with you.

Good to hear you dont' tolerate this.

Answer 3

If he says that dad wants only whats best for him then leave it.  If dad is doing it not for punishment, then you really need to consult your brother about that.

Answer 4

17 or 50 father is father he can beat . Stop disrespecting your own father .

Your brother is a good boy but I don't think you are a good girl .

Learn how to respect parents from your brother .

Answer 5

**********

***********well your brother has a metal physical problem, that means that he was punish alot when he was a kid, and he couldnt do nothing about it, and he still thinks  that he should not do nothin about it. BUt he should, because he should go over it, he needs someone that tells him, one thing u can do is tell his friend to about it, that way they can kind of make fun of him been 17 and gettin punished, and that way hes goin to start realizing that he should do something.******************************...

Answer 6

It sounds to me like your brother has made this a part of HIS ritual. If he truly did not believe it, he is old enough and probably big enough to put an end to it. At best, you may suggest he speak to a professional counselor and let him work it out in his own way.

K

Answer 7

Who are you to tell your step father how to raise your brother? How many children tell their fathers, "Don't spank my brother!" and get away with it? Let a grown adult outside of the family talk to your stepfather. It is not your place as a child. If he is being abused, then talk to your mother. She will deal with the situation.

Answer 8

I don't think you can convince your brother. I think you are right that your brother see's this as a ritualistic expression of your fathers love. I'm not sure why there is a difference between you and your brother, but you and I know there is something very wrong going on. I think you need to stop trying to convince your brother and simply tell him that you love him and you are there for him. This isn't the typical abusive situation, there has to be something tied up with your fathers twisted interpertation of masculinity and the father and son dynamics.

I think you need to be open and verbal with your father and mother. I think you need to keep telling them over and over again that this is wrong and to stop it. Take your brother out of the picture, he doesn't have any control over what he is doing. Focus on your father, you sound brave enough. Keep the drama out of it, be respectful but keep telling your father he is wrong to be doing this.

I'm afraid that if the regular suggestions, go to the police, tell a counselor at school or tell another adult aren't going to work for you, you need to realize that your hands are tied. When you get to be adults, you will need to be there and watch your brother around his own kids. Abused children become abusers. Your brother is a ticking time bomb.  

Answer 9

Just remind him he can say no.

Sounds like he is big enough to take care of himself. He is going to have to stand up for himself at some point.

Moreover your Dad will have to recognise he is becoming a man sooner or later. It doesn't sound to me like his sprite is broken, indeed the fact that he accepts it is more troubling since he might think he needs to treat his kids like that 20 years later.