How do I get my common law boyfriend/father of my child to quit smoking weed?

Question

I feel like I have tried everything to get him to stop, but he does it every day at least 3 or 4 times per day and he plans on never quiting. It's like his whole identity. Has anyone ever found a way to get someone to quit smoking weed Ohhh pleasse tell me. Our girl is 6 months old and I don't want her to grow up with a pot head for a father.

Answer 1

1. it`s common law husband, not boyfriend.

2. was he a weed smoker when you met him?

3. if question 2 is yes then why did you pick him to make a baby with?

If It's like his whole identity as you say, then he wasn`t mature enough to be a father in the first place.



Just for the record:

Marijuana is not addictive nor is it a narcotic.

Answer 2

I used to smoke twenty a day for about eight years - was it really that long?!

I gave up twice, both cold turkey. I like the way you can consider yourself a non-smoker as soon as you make the decision. I find it easier to maintain the achievement than strive for it. I also know that whatever I am dealing with is natural, I have to admit to having concerns about patches. I guess is is the same as the eternal question of whether you ease or rip a plaster (band-aid) off.

I have been a non-smoker for about four years now and will be for the rest of my life.

Answer 3

I feel for you!!! I had the EXACT same problem with my boyfriend...the truth is you CANNOT  change a guy, period! He went out n smoked many times a day and told me he was addicted to it! Anyway it was a huge issue and sake of arguments for us....luckily he made the better judgement and just stopped on his own will power...just hope your boyfriend decides to do the same, and if he doesnt consider leaving..I was going to leave if my boyfriend didn't stop..your right, who wants a pothead for a dad?!  Best of luck!

Answer 4

Dont waste your time. You cant MAKE anyone do anything.

Lets take this opportunity to reflect on why we shouldnt have s*x with people we dont want to our raise children with....... hmmm.

Whatever he is now is what your lookin at for the next 18years, babe.

Answer 5

common law boyfriend? what the f is that?

your guy was like that long before you got pregnant, the time to be concerned was then.

that boat has left the dock, she is going to grow up with a pothead for a father, so you better start making plans about how that is going to go.

maybe your town has parenting classes where you can learn how to manage your parenting needs....

Answer 6

You cannot make anyone quit, especially if he admits that he will never stop.  The situation has to become critical. Does he do this around the kids? Refuse to allow him time with the kids when he is high.  I say move out, smoking pot is not a huge deal, unless you do it chronicaly like he is, and it affects your kids.  He has a problem and doesn't have his priority straight, he has to see that his using will cost him something, whether it be you, your kids, or his freedom.  That is how you get him to stop.  Leave him.

Answer 7

***** get off his back and make him a sammich!

Answer 8

Smoking weed is not addictive.  Talk to him and if he does listen or quit it only means one thing.  He doesn't care!

Answer 9

REHAB is the only way.  

Answer 10

This is a tough one. Does his smoking affect his lifestyle? And how much is it hurting the people he loves? Is he using this as a form or coping or as a way of escaping? These are questions that you, and him, have to face.

The first steps are by making some serious ground rules. When is it okay for him to smoke? Where can he smoke? Not only is it illegal, but soon your little one will be wondering what he's doing, and why. Start off slow, let him have his certain times. (example: After dinner, before bed, etc.)



In my opinion, I don't think marijuana use is that big of a deal...if the person who is smoking is responsible enough to keep it one part of his lifestyle, and he can afford to pay for his sack, then he should be able to do as he pleases.

Although, studies prove that marijuana slows your reflexes, thought process and makes you tired and lazy.

But if your boyfriend has a hard time holding down a job, paying the bills, helping take care of baby and house, then yes, he certainly needs to re-think his ambitions in life and prioritize.

Answer 11

You give him a choice -- it's your family or your weed.  

If he picks the pot-- you pack up the baby and leave.

When you make that ultimatum - you already have worked out a place to go and a suit case packed. When he says he picks the drugs -- you load put your bag in the car and you leave right then.

You then go to court to get a child support order.  

If you ever watch the show "Intervention" on A&E.  When they do the interventions-- the family members  ask the person to get help. But they also tell them..."If you don't this is how things will change".  And the changes are drastic.

If he still chooses drugs over his daughter - you get your life together and you find someone who will treat you with the love and respect you  deserve and who will be a good father to your daughter.

Good Luck.

Answer 12

No one can get anyone else to stop using weed or alcohol or chocolate or any other substance.

A person who has a substance abuse problem will quit when he sees there is a problem that he needs to fix.

You do have a responsibility to yourself and your child.  Contact Narcotics Anonymous for help.