How do I get my dog to stop being a jerk?

Question

My husband treats our puppy like his little princess - he lets her get away with murder. I correct her through punishment (she hates water, so I always have the spray bottle full of water to let her know that she is out of line) and he gets upset with me. The other night she decided that she was going to open the top of the garbage can to get some honeydew melon that was in the can. My husband just watched her and did nothing to stop it! She later on got into the honeydew melon & when I pulled her away from it, she bit me. She did this again last night because she smelled some meat that we ate for dinner & my husband played on his computer rather than do anything about it. I shooed her away from the trash can when I saw her. I prepared a cup with some water earlier in case she decided to be a little pain in the @$$ again, and sure enough she was at it. I watched her getting into the trash can while my husband slept on the couch & splashed her with the cool water. She yelped and ran away & I cleaned up the spilled water. Later on she was aggressive with my husband growling & biting him. He tells me today that I should not splash her with water again because she got aggressive with him!!! I could not believe this!!! The dog has humped his hand on several occassions, and is constantly l*****g the inside of his mouth. These are two things that she has never done to me. She actually knows that with me she'd better act right or else she is in big trouble - and she will stop whatever bad behavior she is doing.

I don't know what the heck to do - I've been to puppy school with her and my husband, and even though she graduated, I don't think it has taught either of them to do what they should be doing.

I am to the point of not wanting to interact with either the dog (or my husband for that matter) and am really at a crossroads. I've been so tired since we moved from one town to another and my husband has been doing little to get stuff moved into the new house. When I come home from working, I have laundry to clean, dinner to cook, unpacking to do & cleaning up whatever the puppy has decided to destroy during the time that we are gone for work (or wherever she has decided to go to the bathroom that isn't in her potty box)

Constructive suggestions would be wonderful! Thanks!

Answer 1

Get a crate for her when you are both out.    Also put the garbage can in a cupboard, or somewhere she cannot get at it.  

If she is humping your husbands hand she is showing him she knows she is dominant over him.  The aggression she showed towards him just backs that up.  If he wants to put up with that from a dog so be it.

When she tries to dominate you, get her onto her back. Do NOT be rough doing it.  Once you have her on her back. lean over her, apply gently pressure to her neck and keep eye contact with her until she looks away.  

If you are both out at work all day, that could be where most of the problem comes from.  As the dog will be bored, and bored dogs get destructive and aggressive.  But you could use this a little to your advantage, by instead of making the dinner when you get in from work, taking the dog out for a walk.   Tell your husband as he is not capable of controlling his princess you will.    And if he wants some dinner he can get his own when you are out with the dog.  When you get back, just make your own dinner.  Oh and just do your own laundry, leave him to do his own.  After all if a bratty little pooch can walk all over him, why shouldn't you?

Answer 2

You're in a tough spot.  All of these problems can be easily resolved with training - but only if you and your husband work as a team and are consistent. If he won't participate, you won't get anywhere.

The problem lies between the two of you and your ability to solve problems together.  Even if he doesn't see there is a problem with the dog and it's behavior and how he treats it, he should at least respect that the dog's behavior is a problem for you - and work with you to solve it.  That's the approach you are going to need to take.

Answer 3

Clearly the pup is in control when it comes to your husband and she knows it. The pup is doing normal puppy things and your husband allows it which then just makes you the bad guy. She is testing the dominance chain and hubby is at the bottom if she is humping him and being aggressive. As she becomes sexually mature she will display dominance in a very firm way with him and he will be very sorry he didn't remember this time in her life to show her who is really the dog and who is the human. I do not mean being unduley harsh but to show her what behavior is acceptable and what is not. If you both don't get a handle on her behavior right now you're in for several rough years with this dog. How will you medicate her if she needs it? How will you bathe her? How will you get her to do anything like come to you if there is a dangerous situation you trying to keep her from.(Like eating out of the trash) And on a side note a dog that digs in the trash and is allowed to WILL at some time in their life have frequent gastro-intestinal upsets and/or need surgical intervention to remove  a foreign body from the stomach or intestines. Your husband is NOT doing anyone any favors by letting her get away with this behavior, I promise you !           Good Luck!

Answer 4

I agree with the first poster-- nothing will happen to change the dog's behavior until your husband comes to his senses and works with you to correct the dog's actions.

However, I think you're doing good with punishing the dog for her actions! Maybe if she starts getting aggressive with your husband he'll realize that there IS a problem and work to help fix it. Hopefully he'll start reprimanding the dog and not you.

Answer 5

You do seem to be in a tough spot.  However, things can change.  First, realize that you cannot change your husband.  Your nagging (sorry for the word, i don't mean to imply that you are a nag) has only aggravated the situation.  Time to change tactics.

Dogs respond much better to positive reinforcement.  Start taking the dog to an obedience class that uses positive reinforcement.  Puppy classes have their place and I recommend them but you need a higher level of help.  

Keep the dog from situations that she can misbehave.  Knowing the dog wanted the cantaloupe, you could have taken the trash out before she got into it.  Confine her during the day in a place where she can't get into anything to destroy.  

When you start going to obedience class your dog will naturally start to look to you as her leader.  Spend positive time with her.  Don't blame her for her misbehavior.  Change it.  

Have frozen dinners in the fridge ready for your obedience nights so you won't have to worry about dinner that night or pick something up on the way home.  Or maybe "heaven forbid" that you put your husband in charge of dinner on those nights!!!!.  

Don't worry about being tired.  Dog Class can be your escape.  You will start to look foward to it.

Soon, your husband will be wondering why to dog is always following you around with goo goo eyes.  

Good luck

Answer 6

I am sorry to say, but you sound like a great, persistent pet owner, but you husband should NOT own a dog.... its people like him that live in apartments and aren't responsible for their pets that make most apartment/rental homes pet free! Your husband is reversing the training you are installing in the pups mind, if she can get away with it with him, and not you, she'll walk all over him! Her humping his hand is her showing she is dominance over him, his hand is the only thing small enough for her to hump, this is the same for the aggression she shows him, she thinks she can do whatever the h**l she wants with him, that's why she doesn't do this to you! She sees you as top dog, and sees your husband as low man on the totem pole! When she gets a bit older it will be VERY hard for him to reverse this, explain to him, that its cute now, but when shes full grown, you'll think different, and end up not wanting her, tell him he needs to either follow your training methods, or stay out of it all together!

Answer 7

I would tell your husband that the dog can bite someone else and be labeled as a dangerous dog.  After that, the dog *has* to be put down.

I would get rid of her, to a no-kill shelter, behind his back.  And don't get another one until he acts like the adult he's supposed to be (my Dad does some of the same things.  I'm 17 and know better.  If a 17 year old knows how to handle a dog *the right way*, then your husband should).  I would get a cat.  The only thing you really have to train it to do is go in the litter box.

And your dog is not the Jerk.  No offense, but BECAUSE of your husband, your dog acts that way.  I would try to get your husband to stop acting like a jerk.