How do I get my family off my case about my older boyfriend?

Question

My sisters and parents keep warning me that I'm "wasting my youth" with my boyfriend. I'm 24 and he's 36. Even though they like him, they keep saying that I should be going out to bars and drinking and partying. That has never interested me at all. I don't drink. Most of my friends are older. My boyfriend and I stay home unless there is a good movie playing. I love being with my books, my piano, and my boyfriend's two dogs. We both love art and music. He has a PhD and I have a Masters

My life before I met him was pretty much the same except I was lonelier and I thought I couldn't relate to anyone. He's helped me realize that I don't need to be somebody else to be happy. We're so intellectually, and emotionally attuned to one another.

I have a pretty good job (boring but it pays well). I volunteer at the humane society and the mental health resource library. I sew my own clothes. We've been together for 2 years and he's my first and only boyfriend. I don't see why I have to "play the field" to know that I'm in love with this man. Why can't everyone just be happy for me? Is there something wrong with us being together?

Answer 1

My advice to people is that dating couples don't necessarily have to be at the same age, but they need to be at the same "life stage" to be compatible. That's why I don't believe that a freshman in high school should ever date a senior in high school. At that point there is very little chance that they could be at the same life stage.

However, you and your boyfriend seem to be at very similar life stages. You both have advanced degrees in your fields, share a similar life style (no drinking, enjoy the arts, pretty quiet lives, probably concentrating on the future). So personally I don't see where a problem would be.

Don't worry about trying to prove it for your family. When they share their concerns just thank them for the advice, and be glad that they care enough to share their concerns. If you two stay together and have a stable life together, then I think it will be proof enough that you made the right choice.

Answer 2

tell them you don't need their approval you are a grown woman, seriously you sound like a good person, why would they want you off partying and drinking? (that's good you don't drink) no just ignore their opinion you two sound fine together be happy and ignore them good luck!

Answer 3

No. If you love him and he loves you, that is all that matters. If they cant accept that, that is their problem, not yours. Good luck.

Answer 4

Why do you need anyone else's approval? That's the question I would be asking myself. I think doth protest too much.  

Answer 5

Only you know your heart and trust it , they haven't the slightest idea who you are if they want you to do things you aren't anyway.

He sounds charming and warm, now that's the kinda guy to bring home to mother , not some beer joint guy.

You know what makes you happy and you have him don't let them hurt you , I'm happy for you.

Answer 6

I believe in true love. if you are truly happy don't worry you have time at the moment. as long as he compliments your life and you his.be carefull DON'T let you life get boring it can tear you apart. keep it fresh  

Answer 7

relationships can be hard but you will know your self if you love him and he loves you.  at the age that you are your family should be grateful the he is your first partner in this day n age people are usually very active when it comes to partners male and female.  i wish i could have met my partner before i did all the other stuff when i was younger.  

and the fact that hes older than you some times can make a difference but your case i think not  because your happy with each other and both enjoy the same things.  you both seem to be intellectual and musical.  as long as you are both aware that there can be differences between the 2 of you because there is an age gap i cant see why if there was any difficulties in your relationship that you would get through them as a couple or apart.   one way or another it comes down to this

are you happy

do u look at any one else in the same way you look at him

do you enjoy his company

do you feel comfortable with him and your family in the same room

do you still feel driven to succeed

if you can answer yes to them then let your hair down and don't worry what your family thinks.  family are there to help and nag lol, so what ever you choose to do I'm sure they will support you in what ever decisions you make

good luck and all the best