How do I get my fiance to see where I'm coming from? He works too much!?

Question

My fiance is in the music business and he's always busy with work. To make it worse, we're having a long distance relationship that has a 7 hour time difference to deal with as well. The odds are against us it seems! However, I can deal with all that, I cant deal with the fact that he doesnt send me little texts or emails letting me know hes thinking about me. Hes never in the mood to get 'intimate' and its really taking a toll on my patience. I'm always sending emails and reminders that i love him and miss him and I only get them if i send them first or lately I dont get them at all. It makes me feel like hes taking me for granted. When he first started out and was finishing school, i was there for him, now it seems like since he's out and he's becoming a success, he doesnt need me anymore. I told him its over and I cant take it anymore but I've said this all before. I don't want to end things but I cant have it like this any longer. He's good for a day or 2 after we have a fight about it then its back to normal. How can i get him to stop taking me for granted??? And I know 100% for sure he's not cheating on me so please dont suggest that, unless you consider him cheating on me with his career. Also I in no way want him to cut his hours down or change his job, he makes great money and it makes him happy. I just wantt more attention from him.

Answer 1

i'm sorry but if it doesnt stop then your relationship might not work.

Answer 2

It sounds like your relationship is already facing some huge obstacles with the distance and his job commitments.  This may be a sign that it is time to finally let this one go and give yourself a chance to find a relationship that has a more equal footing.

However, my one idea to try before you throw in the towel is this:  give him a quantifiable amount of attention you need from him.  I know it's a stereotype but guys really do tend to think in specifics...in numbers.  Don't just tell him you need more attention.  Tell him exactly what that means.  Is it a text every few hours?  Is it a call at a specific time every day?  Figure out what works for you and then ask him to commit to that.

Answer 3

Unfortunately you hit it when you said hes cheating on you with his career. My brother in law is a Sony dealer. He eats, sleeps Sony. His first marriage did not survive this. He spent all hours dealing with customers, research, what ever concerning Sony. Didn't have time for his wife. Be up all hours of the nite. He was married to Sony. She divorced him after 6 months of marriage. If its going to work you are just going to have to take the back seat for awhile until he gets his career lined out. It truly is his mistress. Good luck hope it turns out better than it did with my family. He still is this way but his new wife is sticking by his side so far, been married over 10 years no. Doesn't get home from work till around 10 at nite leaves for work 7 am.  Believe me he is not cheating on her. I know this for a fact, if you knew him you would understand. Good Luck

Answer 4

I think there's nothing that can help about this but you and your fiance. You should tell him about all this; because sometimes guys just don't think about that; they think everything goes well without giving 'more' attentions to their girls; while we are like desperately not understanding them doing this. So I think you just go talk to him (again and again if necessary), share your feelings; tell him what you feel, tell him that you are really serious about this and want him to take this seriously and want him to at least do some efforts for this (it doesn't matter if he doesn't change real quick as we hope, but at least you want to see some improvements on him). I'm sure he would understand. Good luck!

Answer 5

You got yourself a selfish boy on your hands. Acknowledge that his work is very important to him as you, yourself, are important to you. Therefore let him know what is so and go get yourself another guy and a life.