How do I get my four year old to participate in school?

Question

I am told he is above average in intelligence for his age, but he refuses to participate in classroom activities. What is the best approach to this problem?

Answer 1

Brag on him and encourage him to go to big school and make you something special.  Kids love to impress their parents.  My 3 year old is very shy though and I am already talking to him about preschool to prepare him.  He likes to do "homework" when his older brother practices his handwriting.  Try getting him to do his work, just like you do your paperwork in your job.  A reward chart sometimes does the trick, with a surprise at the end of the week for doing good at school.

Answer 2

Several questions for you.  Is your child an only child, or the eldest?  Many very smart children who are first or oldest by more than 2 years, do not mesh well with their peer groups.  I had 2 children with above intelligence.  The oldest took until the end of high school to figure out how to interact with peers on their level.  The youngest child fit in with out a speck of issues.  Birth order very important.  

I would honestly bring him home from preschool.  He will be far advanced from his peers which does not help in trying to mesh and "fit" in.  Enrich him with activites that would not normally be a part of kindergarden work.  Art, music, singing, dance, swimming, riding bikes, growing plants, games.  While these children are "gifted" with intelligence I have seen the stress this causes in my own.  It is so hard not to be labeled as "teachers pet"  "suck up" and worse.  Make sure you interact with your child in a way that lets him know that you love him, all of him, not just his brains.  Play with him.  Make him giggle, let him see you smile when he is happy.  And please remember, he is after all only four.

Answer 3

Does he like to go to school?  Does he do other activities?  Some children do not enjoy doing activities in front of others and preschoolers should not have to perform if they do not want to.  Does he enjoy watching activities?  It is hard to say without more information.  If he enjoys school I would allow his teacher to take time to bond with him to help him feel comfortable.  Do not force him to do things but ask him if he would like to.  Have him do things with buddies.  If he likes to watch and is not disruptive let him do what is comfortable.  At this age it is important not to make a big deal out of this kind of thing.  Give him a lot of encouragement and he will be fine.

Answer 4

Maybe you should just keep him home at this time.  Let him enjoy the "safety" of home and Mom for longer before putting him in a school setting.

He can learn so much with good one-on-one time with you.

Ever considered homeschooling?  It may be the best for him, especially at his young age.

Answer 5

Have you had a conference with his teacher? If not, try to schedule one. How do you know he's not participating... has the teacher brought this to your attention?

This is really something that the teacher is responsible for. The teacher should be able to engage all the kids in activities. Ask the teacher what they are doing to get your son involved and see if you can brainstorm more ideas. Being his mother, you know what he's most comfortable doing. If you can offer some ideas in a way that's not demeaning to the teacher, I'm sure they would appreciate your input.

Answer 6

Try some new things, like games thay he may like or some spelling words, or just some harder things..

Answer 7

teacher her/him the same thing she learn in school at home but make it fun so when she go to school she will be comfortable