How do I get my girls to clean their room? Tried everything!?

Question

My girls (5 & almost 8) give us such a hard time about cleaning their room. They have no problem making a mess, but they won't clean up.

We've tried everything:

~taking toys away

~grounding from playing outside

~grounding from playing with their friends (devastating to the almost 8-year old)

~spanking

~taking away TV

~reward system, where you award stars for good things, when they get 5 they get to choose from a list they made (going to a park, buying a new movie, going out for ice cream, etc).

Nothing works. We tell them to get their room cleaned up and they go in there and play. They will only clean if we are standing right there watching (and I might as well clean it up then because it's faster).

The only thing that has worked at all is spanking, but it only works short-term. They'll clean up after that, but the next day it's the same thing. Letting them know they will get spanked if they don't clean does not work.

Answer 1

I have the same problem sometimes, with my little brother.

What my parents tell him is that he cant go out of his room until his room is clean. They bring him breakfast lunch and dinner, but always the leftovers. it works really well. He cleans his room in under an hour. If they do clean their room then reward them. Your doing nothing wrong with your parenting its just your kids need to get use to cleaning because when your as old as me they will have to clean a lot more.

hope i helped! :)

Answer 2

Don't use spanking, that's the most stupid punishment of all time.  What are you teaching a child by slapping their BUM?

Take everything thats on the floor and throw it out...

See how fast they will start cleaning up!

Answer 3

I have a 6 & 8 year old. This is the most difficult issue to deal with!!! Their room is a pigsty as we speak! We'll go clean it on Tuesday, and it's back to a dumpsite on Wednesday! I can't advise you how to get your kids to maintain their room, because I can't make them do it, but I can advise you how to clean it.

step #1: Get everyone in the house (including Dad) to help out. If everyone pitches in, it will take 15 minutes (really!)

step #2: clear everything off the bed and make the bed. (MAKE THE KIDS DO THIS!) the bed will be a place for organizing - folding clean clothes, placing toy bins, etc.

step #3: bring in the kitchen garbage. toss ANYTHING that is incomplete or broken. i know it's hard, but toss their artwork!!! keep one or two from each child to put in a scrapbook or memory box. they'll have 80 more creations for you next week - trust me.

step #4: grab a huge outdoor broom. sweep everything from under the bed and closet floor to the middle of the floor and put every peice in it's place, starting with big items like clothes and stuffed animals. BE SURE THE KIDS ARE CONSTANTLY MOVING!

step #5: seperate their toys (Bratz, Lincoln Logs, Games, etc) in different storage bins. put them up high in the closet or under the bed. make them ask permission to pull the bins out.

step #6: after everything is put in it's proper place, give the kids a vacuum, broom & dustpan and dusting rags. be sure that all of the items on their bookshelves and dressers are nice and neat.

Good luck!

Answer 4

Well when me nad my sisters were little, on Saturdays ( well moslty on saturday) my mom would ask us if we would like to go down town and she said that if we had our rooms cleaned up we would go nad we would usally get somthing but like a babrie or an babrie play set or even just going to look around, give them something to look foward to when they clean there room

or if they share a room, tell them to spilt it up or to put all the stuff on the floor on there beds and then start sorting through it

Answer 5

My son is only two now so I don't actually have experience in this but the other day I read an article about getting along with your kids better. It said to try letting the kids have their space and if they don't want to clean their rooms don't make them. They have to live in it. Just close the door when company comes over. Make them clean it maybe once a month or so. Not saying this is the answer but a possibility to try.

Answer 6

Well I had a friend who actually did throw all the stuff away they would not pick up and he never had a problem again.

I have not had to go this far part of it is because you have tolerated it so long. I did the same thing. What I found works is to say go clean up all the Barbies first and then the clothes or whatever, if I told them step by step it helped. You also need a designated place for everything. I bought bins and organized everything. Then every night before bed they clean up everything that is out period. No options does not matter if they forgot and it is 9:00 they clean it up. It is a bad habit that is hard to break you have to make them do it regardless if it takes more time and you have to stay on them to keep it  that way. My girls are 7 and 9 and I do not reward them for it. I have told them we are a family and we ALL help to make it run smoothly.

My mom had a great idea she had a job jar and we each drew 3 things every day to clean. She would say "you drew it you do it". You could even try  that with whatever needs cleaned write it on paper and make them draw it out.

I also told my kids (and hubby LOL) if clothes are not in the hamper they do not get washed.

Bottom line you have to set the rules and enforce the consequences even if it means you have to stand over them and nag them, stay on them, eventually it will sink in.

Oh I had to add this once my mom made a pig pen sign and hung it on our bedroom door when we had company over, it was so humiliating. She even put the stinky swirls like on Peanuts with Linus. We had missionaries over for dinner and you had to pass our room  to use the bathroom, and she would not let us clean it no matter how much we begged, it was a very good lesson learned. but we never have company so I dont think it would work on my kids.

Answer 7

my parents used to take everything off the floor, from under my bed, and my closet and throw it in the middle of the floor and that made us clean our rooms

but seeing that ur kids are young that might not work to well with them!!!

Answer 8

BRIBE THEM!!

Answer 9

Can you handle one more suggestion?  My daughter would take HOURS to clean her room and she would beg me to help her.  She wanted me to tell her what to do. Sometimes kids can get overwhelmed with such a large task and don't know where to start.  I ended up writing out a list.  (Draw some pictures on it too if they aren't readers yet.)  Then send them in there with the list.

1.  Pick up all shoes and put away.

2.  Pick up books and put them in the bookcase.

3.  Put dirty clothes in the laundry basket.

4. Pick up papers and throw in the trash.

5.  Pick up large toys and put on shelves.

5.  Pick up small toys and put in baskets.

6. Check again for garbage.

etc.  

Adjust the list to suit your needs.  Also, you kids probably have too many toys.  Try going through their stuff with them and getting rid of a bunch of stuff.  Toss the broken stuff and donate the good stuff.  Let them get rid of anything they don't want anymore.  (often we are more attached to their things than they are..."but grandma gave that to you!") If you catch yourself starting to tell them to keep something... stop yourself!  You are only making the problem worse.  Anyway, make sure you don't lose the list!  When you want your kids to clean up, just send them in with the list.  To check up, you can ask..."What number are you on now?"  Anyway, it worked for me.  Best of luck to you!

Answer 10

well i just want to start off you needed to set ground rules when they were younger so this doesn't happen. it will make it easier. but to fix it try a variation in the rewards system. like reward them straight on the spot instend of getting those 5 stars because they don't want the reward later they would want it now. so maybe give them a sucker or ice cream if they clean it up and lets say after they got candy 10 times they could get a movie or something.

but i don't really think taking away stuff works unless you stick with it, thats key. this stuff takes time. like take away what they like most or like tv but it could take months possibly but after awhile they will give in. its basically a waiting game. who will give in 1st. and you can NEVER clean up there room for them or they will find ways to get you to do it. its basically how strong are you to hold on.

Answer 11

Our son was a mess maker and not a cleaner too. Now at age 7 his room is really clean (as long as you don't look in the closet!) The first thing we realized was that his biggest complaint was that he didn't know where anything went. So we set up a system together where everything has its place. We used to have just one big toy box but then he'd dump it all out to find one thing and it would never get picked up. We switched to a shelf and basket/box system. There is a basket for controllers, a place for his toys that are "alive," and one for cars/planes/trains, and one for building blocks etc. If there are only a few of any given toy lump them into a bigger category such as small toys that aren't "alive."

   The second step was to make it part of the routine. It wasn't a question of clean it when its messy, it was get ready for bed means clean your room. We also turned it into a competitive type activity- could he clean it faster than last time for example. With 2 children it would probably be even more competitive between them. Make a set punishment for if they fail to clean their room- no tv the next day, no playing outside, whatever it is just make sure it is known beforehand. Try figuring out what they really don't want to lose. For our son it was video games anything else we took away he'd just shrug his shoulders at.

Finally, pitch in sometimes. A 5 and 8 year old aren't going to get it perfect every time. Go in while they are at school or out playing and make sure they didn't miss anything crucial or that little things aren't building up. If its minor don't feel guilty fixing it yourself, they aren't unhappy with it, you are. If its a lot of problems then set aside a day for you and the girls to bring it back up to your standards, its much easier to maintain a clean room than it is to clean and organize a trashed one.

Answer 12

get everything from their room and pit it in a big bin liner. tell them that if they cant care for their stuff and keep their room clean they dont deserve the toys.  They then will have to earn back one toy at a time by keeping their room clean.

Answer 13

My kids are 4, 5, and 7 and I had the same problem with them.  I would ask them to pick up their rooms every day, explaining to them that if they would put things away when they were done with them, they wouldn't have to clean so much at one time.  That didn't work, so now if they leave something out after I have asked for several days for it to be picked up, I just throw it away or if it is in good shape I will give it to charity or someone I know that can't afford a lot of toys for their kids.  Now they know that if they want to keep their stuff, they better pick it up.  Kids are smarter than most people give them credit for, and it is never too early to teach them responsibilty and that every action (or lack of) will have a consequence.