How do I get my husband to hold our son more???

Question

Ok my son is just over 6 weeks old and he is a very good baby but my husband doesn't really hold him, I don't know how to talk to him about this. He will pick him up out of the swing or other things to feed him but he puts him right in the boppy pillow or on another pillow and feeds him that way, he will play a little with him but still doesn't hold him. Isn't this bad for them? Is my son getting bonding time with daddy? should i even be concerned?

Answer 1

hmm that's kind of interesting. in my situation, my b/f will hold the baby and play with him a little, but he wont want to do the dirty work (like feeding him or changing diapers)  Not that my b/f holds the baby a lot. i try to get him more involved in playtime. He always says it will be easier when the baby is older and can play sports and stuff. ANYHOW, i'll ask my b/f to read the baby a book and that will get him playing with the baby. also, once your baby can hold his head up better and will enjoy being bounced around, i'm sure your husband will like lifting him up and down and other stuff. once your husband starts seeing your baby giving him smiles and laughs and coos, i'm sure his heart will melt and he will enjoy some playtime with the baby.

Answer 2

it is not a major concern. daddy's have thier own way of doing things. What you can do is mention that you have heard that babies like hearing your heartbeat, then place the baby on his chest with his head right over daddy's heart...I bet both of them drop off to sleep:) My kids always used to like daddy's hairy chest. it is warm and not too hairy.

truthfully he is probably scared that he is gonna break him. Or some well meaning person has told him that he will "spoil" the baby by holding him too much (we both know that is so NOT true). Hubby used to just sit our kids in his lap while he watched TV. they laid back against his belly and thought they were big stuff. I have pics of him napping with the kids in the couch. they are usually on top of him, but on the side next to the back of the couch so they cannot roll off the couch. AS your son gets older hubby will probably get more comfortable with him...once he realizes that babies don't generally break LOL

Answer 3

As long as his time with baby is positive and he is helping you I wouldn't worry. Some daddies just do better with older babies. Explain to him that feeding time is a social time for babies and they crave the contact. Encourage him to hold baby at least through feedings and 10 minutes after.

Answer 4

You hand your husband the baby and say, "here, hold your son. He loves you and wants you to hold him."

I don't think it's necessarily "bad" for him, but it would be better to be held for a little while. Maybe your husband is still getting used to having a baby around? It took mine a while.

Answer 5

your husband is doing the best and you should not be concer. If you nag/complain about the way he is doing things - it might just start problems. Let your husband bond with that baby and doing what he is doing... not many good fathers out there feed their child, picks them up off a swing and such...  

Answer 6

Just talk to your husband.  It's what I did.

My hubby preferred to feed our daughter off his lap, and started getting excited when she could hold her own bottle.  I read him a report talking about how even though she can hold her bottle, she needs the interaction of being talked to, looked at, and held.  I told him if he couldn't handle that, then I would do it, because I want what's best for our daughter.  He fixed it.  

I also rather insisted that the nightly bath become a daddy/daughter bonding time.  Too often men get dependent on the mommies too much, and before long daddy will have a harder time because the baby won't calm down for him.  They need that nightly routine of time.

Otherwise, don't worry TOO much.  I mean, at 6 weeks there's not much he can do with the baby.  At 3 months, he'll be able to play with him more.  At 6 months, they'll wrestle and rough-house more and daddy will be rewarded with a giggle or laugh.  I WOULD pressure your hubby to spend more time bonding just to make sure baby will calm down with hubby and not just you.  But... other than that, don't worry too much.  He's taking an interest it seems.

Answer 7

I think it's ok - it sounds like your husband is participating, so he is getting the time he needs with your son. Most men are leary and don't have the motherly instincts of cuddling with the baby. My husband is the same. He might hold her for a few minutes and then back into the swing she goes.