How do I get my husband to respond?

Question

Whenever I talk to my husband, he hears what I say, makes a decision and moves on without acknowledging my input.

Exanple #1:

Me: (on a long car trip) I need to pee really bad. Can we stop at the next exit? (Once this happened when I was 8 months pregnant.)

Him: Looks right in my face and says nothing.

Me: (I realize that he heard me so I just wait.) The next exit comes and he misses it. "Hey, I need to pee! WTF"

Him: I didn't know it was an emergency.

Example 2:

Him: "What do you want for supper?"

Me: "Let's have meatloaf and mashed potatoes."

Him: Looking right at me, no response.

Me: "Did you hear me?"

Him: "It wasn't a question, what do you want me to say?"

Example #3

My 6 year old son: After he has turned the channel with 5 minutes left in the show my son has been watching for nearly 2 hours. "Hey, I was watching that!"

Him: says nothing

Son: repeats himself

Him: ignores again

Son: "SCREAMING and losing control of himself"

Him: Still ignoring the situation and watching his program.

Me: Going NUTS!

Example #4

Him: "What color do you want the shelves?"

Me: White.

Him: "Why? Wouldn't oak stain look better?"

Me: "No white laminate is more sanitary for the pantry."

Him: Says nothing

Me: Surprised upon his return when he purchases oak stain.

My son is like me, and my daugter is like him. My daughter also ignores. It seems that they make up their own minds and fail to let the world know what they have decided- when it involves us TOO!

I have dealt with it for 17 years, but now I have to get him to quit before my son develops a bad habit or has or coronary!

HELP!

Answer 1

seems like there is alot of non communication going on and it is not all him.  You arent discussing situations and whatnot with each other.  Maybe its time to get away from each other for a week or two.  Seems also like both of you want to "wear the pants" and its a power struggle when it should be a combined effort with each other.  Maybe you need to go to someone to talk your problems with one another out.  Do not do this in front of your kids.  As for your kids, they only do as what they see.   They have seen you two do this for years and its only natural for them to do it and it seems right to them.  You both need therapy and so do your children.  Good luck, you are going to need it.

Answer 2

I'm sorry, sounds like he's incredibly arrogant and selfish--what a jerk.  

have you tried giving him a dose of his own medicine?  Ignore him when he speaks, do what you want anyway.

your daughter has learned from him that it's alright to disrespect those close to her and to just do what she wants.  It's your responsibility to hold her accountable for her behavior and retrain her before she runs into problems with her relationships outside of the family.

as to your husband.  this is one of those problems a professional can help you with.  If he won't go with you then go without him.

Answer 3

  I am cracking  UP !!! They must be brothers or atleast 1st cousins because I have one of them.

I am so sorry but I do believe you are for lack of a better word ..screwed

Now the great thing is you can teach your son by example of how NOT to behave...

Some therapist will tell you that you always have to say possitive things to your children about the parents.. That's not true ! Let's face it people we are adults with bad adult habits and it is OK to tell our children that it is not ok to do certain things

ie: let's say dad smokes well you would tell little Jimmy that daddy has a very bad habit right  and it is very bad for his health right !!

Ok same applies... tell Jimmy if daddy ignores mommy one more time it is going to be very bad for his health so you don't every want to do that when you grow up :-)

Answer 4

tell him you want a divorce and ask him which of the following two items in the house he would like the satin oak shelves or the tv remote?  im sure he will have a lot to talk about then

Answer 5

Sounds like he thinks he's always right regardless of what you say.  Try ignoring him some and see what happens.  You could sit down when the kids aren't around and tell him how you feel about how he treats you and see what his answer is..if you can live with it ok..but you have to make that decision.  Does he care about you and the kids to change his ways? I sure hope he does...good luck!

Answer 6

God help you, your husband sounds more stubborn and difficult than mine!

I think you need to either drag him to marriage counselling, or tell him to his face that his behaviour has to stop, or you are leaving. If that isn't enough to make him sit up and listen, then leave.

Answer 7

Example 1 - I would have pissed in his seat and when HE asks WTF? I'd say "You should have pulled over!!! Do it again!"

Example 2- I would have said "You asked me what I want for dinner, I didn't ask you..... go fix dinner!"

Ex 3 - Jerk!

Ex4 -Why did he even ask what you wanted if he was going to do what HE wanted anyways.

You need to somehow nip that in the bud... my cousin didn't when she was married and now she is having a hard time with her 10 year old.

Good Luck!

Answer 8

i feel they have a extra mature mind set, those people wanted to deal things in a simple way so you dont have to worry about that, it means that you are different from him

Answer 9

well in most of the examples there is nothing to respond to so try asking a question to end wuth