How do I get my kids to sleep in their own beds all night?

Question

I have a 6 year old and a 2 year old. The 6 year old has started acting scared of everything. She watched a scary movie with her step sister when she was at her dad's house. Since then, she won't even go in her own room alone. I have tried punishing, laying down with them and everything. I feel bad because i think she truly is scared, but i am tired. I don't sleep well with 4 people in my bed, sprawled out. I want my kids out of m y bed, so I can get a good night's sleep. HELP!!!

Answer 1

I'm guessing you've tried a nightlight or already know that won't work.

There's no way that you will make her want to sleep back in her own bed, it's going to require a little force.

What used to make me unafraid (it may be different because I'm a boy) is that I had a Darkwing duck water pistol that I would practice aiming at my closet, because I was afraid Bloody Mary was going to come out of it during the night. Maybe get her a nerf gun and tell her it's a (insert-whatever-she's-scared-of)-blaste... to keep by her bed?

Sorry, it's the best I could come up with. Seems like there's no easy solution. Good luck!

Answer 2

I've been watching Super Nanny (it's reality tv at its best, so long as it's not your kids!) and the parents on there have trouble with this all the time (albeit, their children are out of control in a million other ways, too). Jo (SuperNanny) makes the parents take their children to bed at the same time every night. The first few nights are tough, the kids cry and scream when they're put to bed, then run out of the room to the parents bedroom. Jo makes the parents take them back to their beds over and over til the kids won't get up anymore. It is emotionally and physically exhausting for the parents, but after a few nights, the kids start getting it and realize the parent is going to stand firm on the issue.

I was always afraid of the dark growing up. Too many scary movies at other people's houses (Jurassic Park, OH MY GOD). But when my parents' door shut at night, I knew that was the end of them until morning. I would sleep with a lamp on and with the door cracked, read myself bedtime stories to go to sleep, or just sit up and play quietly until I was sleepy. In the end, it was good for me. I learned ways to keep my mind occupied and to handle my fear by myself. Sounds harsh for a little kid, but it's a life lesson. Good luck! And thanks for the add:)

Answer 3

noy I wish I knew. I have a 7 and 5 yr old that won't get out of my bed and it's cramped. Like you I don't sleep well either. If someone gives you a good idea, please let me know

Answer 4

You need to make your bedroom off limits. My daughter is only 13 months(and hasn't slept in our bed since 3 months), but my mom would get up and take us back to our rooms and sit on the bed and get us back to sleep in our own beds. We were never allowed to be in their bed. Your daughter needs to overcome this fear. I know it sounds harsh, but make sure she knows there is nothing to be scared of. Maybe get her a brighter night light or leave the door open. It's probably going to be a few miserable nights, but it will benefit everyone in the long run. Just put your foot down. No more getting in your bed! Good luck to you!

Answer 5

Even though I have five kids who have always slept in their own beds, I never know quite how to answer this question.  I guess my uncertainty comes from the fact that I have never had to 'figure it out' because mine have slept in thier own beds from the bgeginning.  I did kepp the babies in my bed for like three or four months when they were nursing all night long, but as soon as they sarted going four or more hours between feedings, they were in thier own beds.

Since your daughter is scared, the circumstances ar a littel different.  I am a "tough love" kind of mon all the way.  Meaning, I don't coddle and 'baby' my kids (although I am very loving with them), but when they have a genuine fear, that calls for some compassion, not tough love.  I don't really know how to deal with that so I won't offer advice there other than to say maybe if your bed wasn't an option, she would learn to deal with her fear another way rather than continuing on in her fear knowing that it doesn't matter becaue she can sleep with you.

Why does your other child sleep with you?  I would satrt with her.  Get her to sleep in her own bed and that will show your older daughter that it's time to get serious about this thing, and force her to deal with her fears.

Maybe start at naptime in the daytime.  Or just go cold turkey, ("you're not sleeping in my bed again").  This is how I would deal with it (tough love), but you may not prefer it.  

Overall I would siggest starting with your younger daughter and work on your older daughter's fears at the same time.  Keep telling her she's going to have to get over it because she has to sleep in her own bed soon.  Of course, do all you can to help her (leave the light on, open the blind, close the closet...), but whatever you do, don't go back on your word.  If you tell her she has to sleep in her own bed on a specific night - don't give in.  It will never end.

Good luck!