How do I get my lazy kids to help out around the house?

Question

My husband and I have tried everything! All the kids are all old enough to clean up after themselves.(ages 9,11,12 and 17yr) We have tried very simple basic things like just telling them to pick up after themself and always put things up after they use something.....that didn't work. We tried chore charts with basic chores....they still did not do as we asked. We have taken away tv,cell phones,video games/systems etc until they do what we ask....still did not work. There are too many people and pets for me to clean up after. When I do clean and organize the home, it gets trashed 10 minutes later. I feel very frustrated because I love a clean well organized home and can not stand a dirty messy house.

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!I would love some ideas from other moms. Thanks!

Answer 1

you should talk to them in a room and tell them exactly why you want it clean sometimes when you tell your kids something like saying it and the reason why and say im very tired and i just cant do this you guys eat sleep and play here so you need to pick up after yourself

i think maybe if you say no money or allowance no anything not even going outside until chores are done then they will et the hint but when you take away there stuff dont give in beleive me im 16 and my mom does that all the time

i just help he rout because i have symanthy for her since she works and shes a single mom

Answer 2

Good Question! No simple answer for you, wish I knew one. I have a 10, 11, and 14 year old at home with those same lazy habit's!

What I have tried is allowance on a chore by chore basis. You get a flat rate amount for one week that can be subtracted to by not doing chores ( I gave each chore an amount) and subtracted to by homework not getting done, bad notes from teachers, etc...and ADDED to by doing good things, like extra chores, or helping without being asked.

Good Luck! ( to both of us!)

Answer 3

you should use reinforcers...instead of punishing them by taking away things, give them things.  They don't have to be tangible.  For example  you can tell them if they finish their chores then the family will go out for ice cream.

Answer 4

First of all, NONE of your kids should even have a cell phone, with the exception of the 17 year old, if he/she is paying for it. Secondly, you shouldn't be making charts and graphs about who does what when. That's balony! And all these people writing answers about rewarding your kids with ice cream or other things is also balony! When you tell your child to do something there should be only one reason they do it, BECAUSE YOU TOLD THEM TO. PERIOD. If they refuse to do what you say, it's not because they don't want to do it, it's because THEY HAVE ABSOLUTELY ZERO RESPECT FOR YOU. You need to start commanding respect from your children. It's obvious that this lesson has never been taught in your house, and it's doing your children such a great disservice. When they get out in the real world their gonna learn respect, one way or another.

Here's what you do. For example, the next time you tell one of the children to wash the dishes you stand right next to them until they go wash the dishes. And don't be nice about it either. If they start complaing or grumbling or refusing make sure you tell them that you weren't asking for their comments or complaints. And that you weren't asking them to do the dishes, you are telling them to do the dishes. Then take them by the hand and bring them to the sink. Then stand there and watch AND correct them while they wash them. And when they are finished, then they can go do whatever. That's the only way you're ever going to get control of your house, because you obviously don't have it now. Good Luck.

Answer 5

Try thorwing thier stuff that they leave out away, or putting it up for a certain amount of time.

Gotta be strict.

Good luck.

Answer 6

My mum had a great one for this. She would do the basic cleaning and anything that we had used or that belonged to us that had not been tidied she put on our bed - it included plates cups glasses etc. If we then tipped it on the floor before bed instead of tidying she put the whole lot out for the bin men. It only happened once!

Answer 7

Good question,  makes me look forward to when my kids get as old as yours (mine only 2 and 4)!!  You definitely need help b/c with all them they will trash what you clean up in no time.  You seem really nice, this might have to be the time you turn into the MEAN MOM and crack the whip on them to do stuff!!  Kids will put us to the test, I've learned this already..........and I don't want spoiled ones, so ya have to show them whose the boss.

Answer 8

My old Dad used to say no worky no cakey.If they wont do it tell them your not doing their washing, your not cooking there meals,there has got to be a hundred ways to force them to do it there seams to be one thing parents seem to have forgot YOU ARE THE BOSS they are just children,are you one of these parents who let them do anything so you will have a quiet life BIG MISTAKE

Answer 9

Tell them to clean up all there messes after they come home from school on Fridays. If they do not, then they're not allowed to go out on Saturday. For example, if the next Friday, they choose not to clean up again, they cannot go out for 2 more Saturdays. In order to earn those Saturdays back, they must choose an extra day during the week to clean up two rooms.

Answer 10

make them clean up a certain room every friday night and they can't do anything until it is perfectly clean to your standereds...except homework...be strict

Answer 11

"We have taken away tv,cell phones,video games/systems etc until they do what we ask....still did not work."  That's your problem right there.  You have given these things to these kids as a "right", instead of a privlige.  You haven't expected them to EARN the use of such things.  I can tell you this...the only way my 11 year old will ever get a cellphone is if SHE pays for the phone and the plan herself.  She doesn't NEED one and neither do my other two kids.  All their lives my kids have had to earn television, videogame time, computer time other than for school work with their behavior and by following the rules.  When they choose not to follow the rules they get no privlieges.  Kids are never as appreciative over something they are simply handed as much as they are something they have earned...earning it gives them a sense of pride...all you've taught them is how to be lazy...and why isn't the 17 year old working?  Should have a part time job by now.

Answer 12

Let them know if they don't help u , u can't help them take away the games, the free time and the friend over/ phone calls .Get them where it hurt them and they might just see things ur way.

Answer 13

set up a fun day every other weekend or something that is fun for EVERYONE! (the 17yr old can have something lke a day to thereselves at the mall or something). if they dont clean they have to stay home with a babysitting no matter what.

hope this helps!

=)

Answer 14

Have a chart.

Monday+Clean your room=a trip to the store

Tuesday+Take out the trash=Go out for dinner

Wedsday+Clean the table=Go to the park

And so on. They will probly love that they will get rewards and so will you because they will be doing their chores.

Answer 15

LMAO, I am fighting with Tori right now as we speak ! I have tried everything too and nothing is working. Her room is a mess and that is all I ask of her and she won't do that. I think it is time to try the tough love...

I told her she is going to have to move out. she is 18 now and can live in a home with other kids like her. She still seems not to be motivated by this either!

she eats all over the house and leaves food and plates... I am so sick of it.  Helpless in Ca. j

Answer 16

Chore charts and consequences for not following the rules should work, if it doesn't work that means you aren't following up and being consistent.  Have a family meeting.  Let everyone know that they are responsible for picking up after themselves....that means their bedrooms need to be tidy, everyday before they go to bed they straighten up.  That also means any of their belongings left around the house need to be picked up.  If you find stuff that belongs to them, have a basket that you put it in (one basket for all kids).  That way if someone is missing something, they know where to look.  When the basket gets full, you will tell them to come clean it out.  If it doesn't get done, whatever is left is going to Good Will.

Each afternoon or morning or whatever time works best, each kid has a chore.  Feed the dog, walk the dog, straighten the living room, sweep the floor etc.

At the meeting, have each child make a list of their favorite things to do and favorite toys/activities.  Make photocopies of the list and have a central board to post the lists each week with a sharpie pen handy.

Starting Monday, when they do not do their assigned daily chore, or they do not pick up their rooms, go to their list and cross off something.  No arguing, no fighting, no winning that item back by doing extra work.  Whatever is crossed off is completely OFF LIMITS till the following Monday when they start over fresh.

YOU MUST BE CONSISTENT AND NOT CAVE.

You should also have a list of chores that are paid chores...meaning that if they want to earn money, they can pick something from that list to earn some extra money and it also helps you out.

Good Luck.

Answer 17

nail a $10 bill on the door' say 1st to complete the jobs i give gets that' always worked at our house' runners up a dollar each'?

Answer 18

They need a motivator--if taking away their privelages didn't work, you need to take the next step: the big garbage bag. One Saturday, when everyone is home, say to all four kids, "If you don't have your bedrooms cleaned up in (x) amount of time, everything on the floor is going in this garbage bag, and then the garbage bag is going to the Goodwill." If they get the stuff cleaned up, great. If not, you actually have to follow through with this threat. If they don't get everything put away and cleaned, take everything that's on the floor or out of its proper place and throw it in the bag. Seeing their stuff yanked away might motivate them to pick up after themselves. What you do with the stuff in the bag is up to you; you could throw it away, donate it to charity, or keep it around. If you keep it around, let your kids earn items back gradually. Say, for every day they keep their room totally organized, they can get one item of clothing back. Having to work for their belongings might make them respect their stuff more. I hope this, or something else, works out for you guys.