How do I get my one year old daughter out of our bed ??

Question

We got caught into this trap when our daughter was around 6 months, she had an ear infection and through lack of sleep we gave in one evening and had her between us. That was a night I am still cursing cause our little madam has managed to totally dictate that our bed in now hers. Because of the worry of rolling on her, we both sleep right on the edge, with her in a star fish pose in the middle. Nether of us have had a decent night sleep since with worry and enough is enough ! Can anyone suggest the best way, also have a 8 and nine year old that go to bed at 7.30 Thanks in advance x

Answer 1

do you wear a tea shirt 4 bed Hun ..... put her in bed on own  take the shirt and rap it round a pillow and put beside your daughter when asleep it dose work ..... good look....

....sweaty ones better as will smell of you....

Answer 2

lay her in her bed, she will cry but you gonna have to let her cry, she will get over it

Answer 3

when you go to sleep just lay her in her own bed she will cry for a while but she will go to sleep and then she will get used to it and have no problem sleeping there!

Answer 4

I don't have any idea's but I wanted to tell you I laughed so hard, diet coke almost came outta my nose at *starfish pose.* LOL!

Answer 5

You need to be firm with her.  Explain that your bed is not hers, and put her into her own bed.  Explain to her that her bed is her bed, and she has to sleep in there now.  Put her into her bed at her regular bedtime, read her a story, make her bed more "appetising" to her than yours.  If she gets out of bed during the night, just get up and put her back into her own bed.  Give her lots of praise when she's there.  Lock your own bedroom door to prevent her joining you (if need be).  Make her realise that your bedroom is now off limits to her.

If she stays in bed for, say, a week, reward her by taking her somewhere she enjoys (like to the park to feed the ducks, or whatever).  I wouldn't personally get into star charts, or buying her things; she'll come to expect rewards for the tiniest things (which will set her up for failures and disappointments later on, when she gets older, and comes into the real world).

If you really got stuck, you could always get help from an early childhood organisation that specialises in counselling, and helping with situations like this.

Good luck!

Answer 6

Have a routine that you enforce every night - maybe bath, dressed, milk, story and then bed - and stick to it.

Maybe give her one of your tops to cuddle, but you need to get her out of your bed now because leaving it any longer isn't good. My friend had her little one in bed with her, and he was nearly 4 before she could get him out of sleeping in her bed.

Maybe get all the children ready and into bed at the same time.

Also don't fall into the trap of laying in her bed with her, she needs to learn to fall asleep on her own. Milk, story, kiss her goodnight and let her get on with it. Let her cry if you have to. And present a united front. No good one of you leaving her and the other one giving in.

Answer 7

She is 1, put her in her bed and explain as best you can that this is where she HAS to sleep.  She WILL cry but you just have to shut the door and eventually she will cry herself to sleep.  The longer you let her sleep in your bed the harder it is going to be to get her in her own.  Good luck!

Answer 8

put her to bed with the same routine each night, e.g. bathtime, brush teeth, storytime, milk, bed.

then walk out and close the door, and don't go in to her no matter how hard she cries

this will be very distressing for you at first, as she will feel abandoned, and will certainly cry about it and be upset, possibly even hysterical, but you just have to remember that you are the adults and that there is a clear benefit to her as well as to you in having parents who are well-rested.  it will probably take less than a week as long as you put her to bed and then DO NOT RESPOND if she cries.

as she is still very young, she should still be in a cot not a bed - going through this procedure with a 1-yr-old is much easier than doing it with a two or three year old who is capable of climbing out of bed and putting herself back into your bed at night, so get it done sooner rather than later.

and remember, the trauma of re-educating her to manage on her own at night is only temporary and is for an overall benefit to the whole family.

Answer 9

Mmmm been there it's a tough one! I got my daughter to choose some new bedding and a new teddy, all the while explaining this was leading up to her sleeping in her own bed and each night I would read her a story (in bed). It was hard, I used to bath her so she was nice and relaxed then snuggle her up in her bed with her new ted, read her a story, if I was lucky she would fall asleep before I was finished, if not yes would we have tantrums, this is when you need to be harsh and say 'you're too old for Mummy's bed now you need to sleep in your own bed like a big girl' she will cry and be difficult but you need to be firm. Maybe you could try the chart system with the stars, each night in bed gets 1 star, get to 5 and get a treat! My biggest tip is firmness, you need to now set the rules and stick to them.

Answer 10

Throw her out of the bed

Answer 11

Pretend like you are your one year old and look at it from her point of view.  What would make it easier for you to transition from one sleeping arrangement to another?  What would make it more difficult and would make you resist?  Think about it for a while and see what you come up with.

You will have the best luck if you can be firm, be fair, and be consistent.  Be fair to your daughter.  She doesn't really know anything other than sleeping with you, so all of a sudden forcing her out of your bed is going to cause her to fight you and can make her resist her new bed.  Introduce the idea to her over time.  Show her her bed, tell her that it is all hers, have her pick out a blanket for her bed or a new stuffed toy for her bed.  Explain to her what her bed is for and why she should sleep in it.  It's fine that she's only one and won't understand what you're telling her.  Tell her anyway.  Work out some time line that you feel is fair to your daughter to transition her.  Remember it's a transition, not a quick change.  Then think of what clear steps need to happen to get her from one bed to the other.

When you decide what transition steps you want to take be firm about enforcing them.  You don't give in unless you realize that they are honestly unreasonable.  Be consistent about what you do and give it some time.

Consider her skills that she has.  Can and does she fall asleep with her own set of skills or does she need your help to fall asleep?  If she can fall asleep with her own skills (sucking a thumb, snuggling a blanket or stuffed toy, or just falling asleep) you can try putting her in her bed while you sit next to her and see how that goes.  If she can't fall asleep with out you, help her learn how to do that first.  

Maybe you can try pushing her bed up next to yours to make the transition easier.

Answer 12

Make the decision that she will be returning to her own bed, your husband needs to on board with this too.

Stick to your guns - tell your little one that she has to sleep in her own bed from now on.  Put her in the crib and when she cries, go to her but do not pick her up, speak calmly and tell her that she has to stay in her own bed.  When she settles, leave quietly.  

If she cries again, go in again.  Go in every time she cries, but don't talk to her.

This may go on all the first night, so be prepared for that, but I will guarantee that she will be awake less the second night, the third night she may grumble a little bit, but by night 4 she will be a perfect little angel, because she knows that you will go to her when she cries, BUT, you will not get her out of her crib.

With this situation, and all others, your children need to know that you are consistent - don't say "No" unless you mean it, but for heaven's sake, when you do say it, mean it!

Good Luck!

EDIT:  You may want your other children to go to Grandma's or Aunties for two nights while you so this, if you think it will disturb them.