How do I get my son to act like a gentlemen?

Question

I have decided to teach my young son Tommy (4) the gentlemens game of poker.

as his parent I took the liberty of marking the deck ...( so that I could "help " him)

the flop was A, K, Q clubs ...my hole cards where k h,3s and a piece of pocket lint..

seeing that I paired my kings I pushed half my money in the pot. my son got excited and pushed all in ..to which I called.

my boy then turned over his cards and said " read'em and weep" ...... immediately I grabbed the pot and pulled it to my side ....my son protested noting that he had a "royal flush"

with all the care I could muster, I explained to the boy that a royal flush was a c**p hand and belonged in the toilet ....why else would it have " flush "in the title?

It was at this point he attempted to stab me with a toy truck!

this kind of behavior would never fly at the clubs I go to ( except wsop)

how can I get him to grow up?

Answer 1

Stabbed you with a toy truck. That is terrible, where was his flick knife? Then when he grows up he can use a sword cane, which would be very gentlemanly.

Answer 2

WTF!? why are you teaching your son of only four years how to play poker and how to gamble? you should be bringing him to parks and little play dates with other kids, not teahing him how to gamble. i wont be suprised if he ends up filing for bankruptcy at a young age or gain an addiction.

Answer 3

Your young gent has learnt two valuable lessons here old boy, firstly never to question your authority or play games of chance with his betters. And secondly and more worrying for you he has learnt never to attack his farther again with a "toy truck" I'd hold off giving him driving lessons for a good few years if I were you old chap. Tip top.

Answer 4

The question is how can you grow up?  Control the kid?  Maybe when you were a child, or even now you need a chocolate swirly to teach you what a royal flush is.  Volunteer for your child and have him give you a chocolate swirly.  The true Royal Flush!  Otherwise play honest with the child and be a gentleman yourself first.  Go to counseling and find out why you need to be abusive.

Answer 5

Thanks for the smile...

I'm not "allowed" to teach my kids poker (ages 4 and 8) because their father hates it and anything to do with gambling...he won't even allow them to watch my play it on the computer...I really would like to teach them...

Oh well, have to wait until they are older and we can do it behind his back LOL

Answer 6

A damned good swipe across the back of the head works wonders old chap. I cannot believe the temerity of the lad, good, honest, straight forward card instruction by a caring parent just thrown in your face, unbelievable. Still some brats are like that, never mind old chap, sell the little sod to a roving band of gypsies and start again.

Answer 7

Hey that`s great - actually keep that truck for him and when he gets old enough he can take it with him to the club and when he gets angry he can beat it on the table yelling ``stupid donks how could you call with that garbage you idiot!!!```:)  

Seriously though tell him you won`t play with him anymore unless he acts like a distinguished gent and maybe you can even dress him up a bit in a suit and tie maybe to remind him :)

King Cobra Poker

Answer 8

Good grief old chap!  One cannot expect a small child to understand the game of poker until he has fully learnt to bluff and lie in an aristocratic manner.  A proper moment should be around aged 14 after you have introduced him to his first lady of the night.