How do I get my son to see what his friend have been telling him is ridiculous?

Question

My 22 years old son has only two semesters to go before he gets his bachelor degree. He’s still living with the family at the moment. He work part time at a coffee shop and want to be chemical engineer after he graduate. At coffee shop that he works at, he has a coworker/friend who is majoring in business. This guy is making me crazy.

He keep put all stupid idea in my friend’s mind. My son has been begging me to let him sell his car that we bought for him two years ago. He says if he sells the car, he’ll save $345 on gas and insurance. He even made a chart that shows he can save up to $500 a month if he sells the car. He says he want to sell his car for $4,000 and buy a bike and save everything else. He says he want to finish college and get a job and save as much as possible for a year so he can buy a house instead of renting. He also says he is considering to not owning a car until he retire.

He also have been really bugging me about how I manage moneys. I bought a new television a couple months ago, my son keep telling me that I should haven’t bought new one since the old one was working fine. He tells me if I would have continued to save, I could have enough for a down payment for a new house and rent it out by end of year. He also is trying to talk me into not buying s motorhome that I’ve been saving up for a long time. He’s trying to tell me I can easily put down payment on two or even three houses or buy a business or stock and make profit out of it.

My son even made a scrap book with all stuff he wants such as are he want to travel to, his dream house, his dream boat for fishing, and other things. He say this motivate him to save even more. He want things such as owning a lake with couple cabins and hotels to rent out so he don’t have to work and can fish everyday or travel.

My son also is always talking about how people fall in keeping up with the Jones trap. He considers many things as unnecessary luxury. I’ve tried to explain him that they didn’t fall into it, it is just a popular thing at the time that people get into and it makes them happy. He just says it didn’t make them happy, they just want to keep up with others. All idea his friend put in his mind is absurd.

I’m afraid that his friend is setting him up for a big disappointment. His friend hasn’t even bought a house or finish college yet and yet he’s playing finical advisor for my son. My son takes every single of his advices very seriously and is trying to follow it religiously.

I want my son to realize that his friend know nothing and that if my son want to have all those things he dream of, he’ll need to find a really good job and really work his butt off for it. I don’t want him to continue live with false hope and hollow dream only to be hurt in the end. How can I show him that by selling his car, he’s doing himself a great disservice?

Answer 1

Does he have car payments?  If so, he may be right that it would be a good idea to sell his car and what's wrong with riding a bike while he saves money?  It doesn't sound like he is not willing to work.  He is just trying to be smarter than the average person who gets into debt over their heads and then can't get out.  As far as saving as much as he can while he is young goes, I think that is a great plan.  Maybe you should be a little more open minded and listen to him.  It sounds like he has some good ideas.

Answer 2

Let him find his way...First off, it sounds like he's on the track to living a simple life and also being an eco-friendly citizen as well...something we should all try doing.  BUT, you should make it very clear that, if he decides to sell his car that you will not be his taxi service...AT ALL!  It was his choice to downsize and he can either ride his bike or take a bus at ALL times (rain, snow, etc.).  Also, since YOU were the person who was gracious enough to buy the car in the first place, I think it would be fair that he gives you about half the money from the sale.  It's not a free ride (no pun intended)...you bought this car for him out of the goodness of your heart in order for him to have reliable transportation, and he needs to be responsible enough to compensate your part of the bargain...especially since he gave you grief about buying a new TV.  If he does end up selling his car and later finds it too inconvenient without one, he can always save up more money to buy a little "put-put" just to get around (HE can save his money, not you)...Just remind him that when he does eventually move out and get his own place, he will have to ride his bike to get groceries and anything else an independent person does, so he may need to get a basket or something a little more manly-looking to hold everything in.

All in all, it looks like you've raised a fine young man there...He's only 22 and is only a couple semesters shy of receiving his Bachelor's...Pretty darn good...A lot of 22-year olds don't have a clue what they want...Heck, some 40-year olds can't even figure it out!

Good luck...don't fret, you've obviously raised him well, so let him follow his dreams...It's nice to see a young person have such an enthusiastic view on life!

Answer 3

Sounds like your son has been enlightened.

College tends to open up peoples minds and sort of reverse everything they were taught before.

In the 1990's people would have thought you were nuts to be able to put every song in the world in a square thing 2 inches big.

Times change, especially financially.

Your sons plan sounds pretty good.

He actually has energy and optimism to do such radical changes and plans in his life.

As for unnecessary luxuries I also agree with that. Internet 5 years ago = luxury. Now most things can only be done or is done on the internet.

Personal possessions i figure that i only want them because i don;t have them and other people do.