How do I get my spoiled kids under control? They are so spoiled! They are 7,8,9 yrs old! 1-GIRL,2-BOYS. HELP!!

Question

I ALWAYS VOWED TO SPOIL (buy them a lot of "stuff")MY KIDS TO NO END B/C I DIDN'T HAVE c**p GROWING UP. I know they love me, but when they are so out of control (fighting,back-talking), it really feels like they hate me...Also b/c all dad has to do is open his mouth and they listen. (no love or no respect?) I think, well, it's b/c he will punish them more harshly than I, but I can do the same punishment and...nothing! I started a points system for them(yesterday), b/c it is very affective at school ..(fingers crossed)..My middle son is on the J.O.B...he is responding well, but the other two are not as much.I told them if they have "so many" points by friday then I would take them on a "all day" trip to DOLLYWOOD. That's a big prize for being good for a week, I think. I am afraid that they will figure out that I don't have a babysitter for whoever don't get there points so they will have to go. HHMMM???*BTW-I'M NOT THE TYPE WHO ONLY BUYS THEM EVERTHING-I PLAY W/THEM, READ W/THEM-

Answer 1

"I ALWAYS VOWED TO SPOIL (buy them a lot of "stuff")MY KIDS TO NO END B/C I DIDN'T HAVE c**p GROWING UP."

I never understood this way of thinking.  

I never had c**p growing up either and I don't buy "c**p" for my kid - she earns her own money by doing extra chores around the house.  

Don't bribe them into being good - put your foot down and make them follow your rules.  If they don't listen, punish them and stick with it - from your post you appear to be a push over and give in easy...don't do it.  stay firm.

Answer 2

If you spank them they will stop.

Answer 3

just stop buying them stuff!! tell them to play with stuff they already have, lots of kids have nothing. start a different points system, where the prize isnt a material item. something like staying up later, controlling the televsion, picking whats for dinner, etc. and SUBTRACT points when they fight and misbehave!

good luck

Answer 4

Tell them To sit down and shut up. Then smack them.

Answer 5

YOU created the problem now you simply have to live with it.

Answer 6

Well, you can't blame your kids for behaving exactly as you've taught them.

First, you need to sit down with them and admit your error.

Then you need to explain why the constant buying is ending.

The kids will be very upset.  But it will get better with time.

You'll be doing the right thing.

Be well.

Answer 7

What a great mess you've created for yourself! I had very little growing up and always said my kids would have more than I did, but never said I would spoil them. My girls have all that they need and some of what they want and that's good enough.

I don't believe in "points systems", they're lame in my book. To me, it's simple. They listen or their favorites get taken away for a week, if that doesn't work it's for longer. Your kids have no reason to respect you at this point because they know that no matter what they do or say to you, you'll continue to "spoil" them because that was the vow you made to yourself. Of course they respond to dad~~I'm guessing that he doesn't give them everything that they want?

Just stop buying them everything......buy only what is needed and not what is wanted......no matter how much they fuss. It should make them come around after awhile.