How do I get my teenagers to do things on their own?

Question

We live on a bus route and none of them have taken a bus by themselves-they rarely do any 'housework' unless they want something in return. they are 16, 17 & 19. I work full time and am a widow.

Answer 1

well 19 kick that one out and the seventeen year old make that one get a job and the sixteen year old threaten them with a job....honestly i would say stop buying them things they want and giving them luxories such as cable and internet take away thier cell phones and tell them if they want these extra things to get on the bus and go get a job and buy them.

Answer 2

Who gives them rides?  Stop doing that.  Who gives them food?  Stop doing that.  Who gives them money for clothes?  Stop doing that.  Who buys them shoes?  Stop doing that.  In short, don't give them anything!!!  Just be prepared for a lot of bitching and griping and accusations of being a bad parent.  When they do that, laugh and tell them the worm has turned.

Answer 3

you the grown up set some rules for them

Answer 4

okay, number one, do not blame them. number two get harsh on them for not cleaning, just remind them every day or give them incentives for cleaning, positive reinforcement, allowances, but least of all, don't make them miserable just because you are miserable (or are possibly miserable)

Answer 5

Stop enabling them. Shut everything off ie cable, internet etc. If they want something tell them that they have to do chores and give them a list of things you want done...If it's not done no ride no what ever it is they want. Does the 19 yr old go to school? If not he needs to pay you rent, if he refuses kick him out. They all need tough love.

Answer 6

Well, my mom was a widow and I'm her only daughter and I knew to step it up and help.

Just try talking to your kids and say that you need extra help. They should understand that you're working really hard for them, and that simply doing some chores or taking a bus would help to return the favor.

Answer 7

at those ages and with your work schedule, stop doing things for them and they will have to do it themselves.

Answer 8

Hey, The 17 year old helps sometimes!!! She did the dishes and hangs up the clothes!!! :O

send the 19 year old back to the mental place, she needs it!

The 16 year old needs to be sent away too!

that would get rid of your problems

Answer 9

Quit doing the work for them.  they can either pick up the slack or start making plans to move out at age 18.  You already have one old enough to kick from the 'gravy train'.

Answer 10

You have typical teens, they are self centered, selfish and loathe housework.  Your not alone.  However they do need discipline and need to help you out.  Have a family meeting and let them know your feelings and how you need them to step up now that there older.  Give them a daily house work schedule and they need to know there are consequences if not done, you must be strong though and not let them off the hook.  Tuff Love if that Tuff to do, but you will make them productive and caring adults, they need discipline in their lives, which Includes Love.  The 19 year old, gets his/her butt to work.