How do I get my wife to voice that she needs me?

Question

Yes, I'm very insecure and I don't want any answers regarding that please. We have been married 4 years but I haven't heard "I need you" (except in content where she needs me to do something) in over a year. She works, cooks, cleans. And I'm disabled. I know she loves me she tells me that all the time but I need to know that at least emotionally or mentally she needs me. Please help.

Answer 1

Ask her, "Do you need me?"

If she says no, you're going to feel bad, though.

I have a married friend who hates that his wife says she needs him.  He believes that every person should be whole unto herself, independent and not reliant upon anyone else.  He believes people should marry because they love each other and want to be married, not because they need the other person.  I find a great deal of validity in this point.

Answer 2

the only way i can think is just for you to ask her "honey, do you need me?"

Answer 3

Sit her down and explain your feelings to her.  Maybe she's just afraid to tell you she needs you because she feels she is supposed to be the strong one in the relationship and if she admits she needs you then she's failing.

Answer 4

the best kind of love is when a couples want for each other surpasses their need for each other....

as quoted from a book i got for my first marriage

Answer 5

Why would you need her to say she "Needs" you?   Maybe she doesn't feel like she needs you.   Doesn't that kind of show some sort of emotional issues with you?

I mean, c'mon.  I love my wife, but do I really NEED her?  No, I want her.  I want to be with her and I want her in my life.  If she wasn't I would go on, but it would really suck to have to live without her.  

I would rather have someone be with me because they WANT me, than because they need me.

Answer 6

Wow! I am sorry to hear this. But you wrote your feelings wonderfully.

Why dont you get her a set of flowers and write your feelings down. Tell her how much you love her and end it with how you feel. Tell her sometimes you feel empty because of your disability and explain in detail what makes you feel insecure.

God bless you for reaching out and asking people what you could do!

Good Luck