How do I get out of an abusive marriage ?

Question

my husband has been abusive ever since our first child was born ...things use to be perfect but then he changed...he always calls me terrible names and he beats me almost everyday and forces me to have s*x with him ....I was pregnant with our second child but I had a miscarriage because of him.....I do have many family members I could talk to that would help me but he'd probably kill me if I tell someone or try to leave.....he always threatens to kill me .....I know if I don't leave one of us will end up dead eventually what should I do.....

I can't let my daughter see me hurt all the time

he often apologizes and tells me he loves me and he'll never do it again but he just gets worse

Answer 1

You just go. I know, easier said than done. I was in an abusive relationship for 6 years and left when he started shoving my kids around..... It is not easy but you have to just go. Pack your things and leave. If you have no where to go.... find a shelter for battered women, they will offer assistance including getting a restraining order, finding housing, education, a job, counseling. My ex always threatened to kill me, to hunt me down, to burn down my mothers house.... in the end he did none of those things and now 15 years later I can't figure out why I stayed with him for 6 lost years.

Answer 2

Leave him why are you still with him, it is going to get worst and worst. As time pass by, he will get worst and worst. I suggest you to leave him now before he does something that will kill.

Answer 3

Have you ever been through this type of traumatic experience in the past? It's a vicious cycle. Children often pick up where their parents left off. If you don't save yourself now, your children will pay the price. What your children see and hear is what they learn. No human being deserves to be beaten and forced to have s*x like a rag doll. You're worth so much more than what he credits you for. You take your children and you put them in a safe place, prefarably a place where there are other males to protect them. You tell your closest family member, like your mother, EVERYTHING. You tell her it's been happening for some time now. Your family will not abandon you. Get a restraining order on that man. It ends NOW.

And when it's over, you see a therapist straight away. You've suffered serious mental and physical stress. Good luck.

Answer 4

leave him dummy!Why are you asking complete strangers for an obvious answer!!

Answer 5

Your husband has a mental problem, and he needs help professionally, but its you who is in danger. You must seek help, because he is never going to change, if anything this issue will worsen.GET HELP ASAP.

Answer 6

Go to the nearest women's center or abused women's shelter. They can help you find everything you need, from police assistance and  therapy to shelter and information about divorce, It'll be difficult at first, but you can do it! They'll help with your daughter as well, so no worry about that...take your daughter and LEAVE!

The first step is acknowledging that you need to leave. You've already done that, so you're aheady of the game. The women's center is your next step...if you need help finding one, contact me and tell me where you live, and I'll find one for you.

Answer 7

I heard this story once: a lady was tired of her abusive husband, so one day while he was at work (normal work day, eight hours) she and a couple friends packed her all her stuff and moved her. She never told him what she was going to do or where she was moving to.

As far as I know, he never got ahold of her after that. But since you two have kids together... I'd file for a restraining order and full custody at the same time..

Answer 8

911 and a womens shelter. When they arrest him, ask them to keep him overnight so that you can pack up a few things and get to a womens shelter. They can even help you get to one.

That way you are not a family members home where he can find you. You will have to let your family know you and your daughter are ok, but you will not be able to tell them where the shelter is located (it puts other women in danger).

Let the police deal with him.

Answer 9

First you have to stop being scared. I know this sounds harsh but you have to think of your daughter as well as yourself. Wait till he is at work or something and leave. If he abuses you call 911 have him arrested and go to a shelter and have the police call you when he is being released. They will not hold him overnight just because you ask because most everyone is offered bail. When at the shelter file a protective order~ the shelters offer free lawyers, clothing and various other things to help you get on your feet. Go back to school if you do not have an education. The court will let you not give him your address but he will still have the right to see your daughter. So when it is pick up time meet him in a public place like the police station. Be careful he will be mad, promise anything and try to follow you. When a person feels they are losing control expect the unexpected. Not trying to scare you but have been there and am happily divorced. Good luck!

Answer 10

First of alll, I would call the police the next time he even THREATENS to lay a hand on you.

Then, I'd call any domestic abuse hotline I could find and tell them I need a shelter.

Then, I'd get myself a gun and if he came toward me again in any hostile manner, it would be the last time he ever did such a thing. Seriously, I would kill the guy.

DO NOT Believe his apologies -- he's a slimeball abuser and if you don't leave this guy, eventually YOU will be the one killed.

P.S. If he even THREATENS to kill you, he's guilty of domestic violence and the police should be called to haul his sorry *** away. If you do not press charges against him, you're only letting him know he can do it whenever he pleases and get away with it.