How do I get over my anger so I can sleep??

Question

My husband is still out with his buddies. His band gig was over early, I saw his truck in the driveway at 10:15. He could have come home and spent a little time with me, but he went out with them instead. He's with them 7 out of nine days this week, a total of 14 nights this month (he's in a band). I tried texting him, no reply. I didn't send him the angry texts I wanted, but nice ones (I faked it).

So I finally started calling. His phone must be in is truck, he wouldn't ignore my calls. He's not mean, he's wonderful. He's just gone, all the damned time.

I've got a small child and a baby to care for, and I need to get to sleep. It's 2 AM for cryin' out loud. But all I can do is fester. And cry. And hate him. I just keep thinking, "I hate him, I hate him, I hate him". He could have spent some time with me.

He'll be tired tomorrow. He's not stuipid enough to stay in bed too late, because he knows he needs to get up and help with the kids. We're supposed to take our daughter to a play tomorrow, so I don't want us to be fighting for that. We don't fight, really. Every now and then I blow up and cry, he feels bad, and absolutely nothing changes.

So how do I get to sleep tonight/this morning? He's still not home and I'm still crying. Now the baby's waking up. How do I get over this so I can get some damned sleep? I swear, I just want to trash the house, thowing things and having a big fit. Obviously, I'd just have to clean it all up, so I won't. And he'd think I was an overreacting hormonal freak, and that wouldn't make him want to hang out with me any more now would it.

Oh, I htink h'es home.

Answer 1

Oh, how I wish I could answer this. I battle the same thing with my husband, only there are no children. I look up to you for handling this the way you have, tastefully, not shredding your home to pieces! =)

Maybe it helps to know you're not alone.

The only thing I learned with my husband was to take small steps, for example, start off by "just call me to check in." Work toward more nights at home. Maybe its just a taste of freedom he misses.

Also, my mother-in-law found out about him and since then she's helped, but I know that isn't always the answer for everyone.

In the mean time, to get the sleep you need, start settling down early at night, even if it means a little Tylenol PM. This way, no matter what he chooses to do, you've taken care of yourself to get the rest you need. For tonight, drink some milk and get the house a little chilly, pile on some extra covers and get cozy and tired. Watch something pointless on TV that can't remind you of anything. (For example, the history channel or the discovery channel)

=)

Good luck and prayers to you! Hang in there.

Answer 2

Show him this question. You NEED his company. Being gone half of the month is too hard on you. It would be too hard on anyone. Ask him to come home and be with you. Could you stand having the other people at your house half the month?