How do I get over my boyfriend's suicide?

Question

My boyfriend and I had been together for a long time. I knew him and his father were having a lot of problems. He would come home and say "Liz, my father hates me, I know he does..." I would just shrug it off and say "It's gonna be okay, Brian." But on August 30th 2008, he hung himself at 4 o clock on Saturday morning. I was in shock. I realized something was wrong when he wouldn't answer my phone calls so I went over to his house and found him hanging in his closet. I was horrified. I stopped breathing. I had just enough strength to dial 911 on my cell before I fainted. It's been a week and I'm still torn up about it. What can I do to accept his death and say good-bye???

Answer 1

I'm really sorry that you have to go through that.

It was really selfish of him to commit suicide, knowing he has people who love him like you obviously do.  Not only would I be sad, but I'd be pi ssed off as well.  He could have gotten emancipated or something if he had so many problems with his dad. :/

It's going to take a lot of time to get over it, I wish you the best of luck honey.

Answer 2

Thats going to take time, maybe hang out with friends, or go talk to someone  

Answer 3

I am so sorry for your loss.

People in this much pain do not understand that they are leaving hurt, confused loved ones behind. They just see a big black hole that they feel they cannot escape from.

Time will eventually lessen your pain. Please know that this is not your fault.

Maybe you should join a support group so that you will have someone - who has also experienced this - to reach out to.

Good luck.

Answer 4

Wow, that's terrible.

As someone who lost a close relative to suicide I can tell you that counselling/therapy is a good idea.  At the very least, I hope you have someone that just listen to you.

One thing I know about grief after a loss like this that it really does take time and acceptance.  You'll never be "over" it, like it never happened.  But, hopefully, you can come to peace and acceptance over it.  But it will take time.

I'm so sorry.

Answer 5

You may need to talk to a therapist; however, realize this is NOT your fault, it was his choice. He chose to do that to himself, and left you to feel this pain, you had no way of knowing it was that bad. Take your time, it's going to hurt for a long time, but remember that you are hurting because you loved him, and your love was worth the pain. Find a trustworthy therapist to talk things over with, so that you can talk about how you feel with no fear, and have someone to help you.

Answer 6

im so very sorry that this has happend to you i know how it feels to lose someone you really love the only way you can say good-bye is to be strong it may hurt but in the long run it shows you can handle anything. you have to be strong because if he was here he would tell you the same thing..just know he is in better hands now

Answer 7

if u lost some1 it will take a long time to get over it n feel okay again .. pray 4 him .. go to his mom n try to b a gd support cuz sure she needs support now n u will be da best person to give her dat cuz u were da closest one to her son .. try to keep urself busy as possible as u can .. hope u'll feel btr soon ..

Answer 8

Believe me it will take time . I had to deal with the suicide of my best friend and a boy friend and it is a very hard thing to deal with .

You have to understand that this was not your fault at all .

Honestly there would have been very little you could have done to prevent it .

Most people that contemplate suicide do not talk of their plans , they just decide one day that they no longer want to deal with the pain and suffering that they are going through and decide to take their life .

Always remember that what happened was not your fault and know that he loved you and would not want you to blame yourself for what happened . He would want you to pick up the pieces and move on .

I know this will take some time and that is understandable but eventually you will be able to move on .

You have some thing that no one can take from you and that is your memories .

While you are going through your healing process visit his grave site and just sit there and talk with him . You would be surprised at how much this helps .

I have done this with my best friend , dad and mom .

I couldn't do it with my boyfriend because he was buried out of the county that I lived in and I was only 16 at the time . Not to mention his family knew nothing about me .

I really suggest that you get some counseling to help you through this .

With time and counseling you can and will make it through this .

I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this . This is some thing that I would not wish on any one .

Best wishes always