How do I get over my ex wife?

Question

We met in the summer of 96; she had just graduated high school and was planning to take a year off before going to college. I had just received my undergrad degree in social/behavioral sciences, with an emphasis on pre law. I did well on my entrance exams, so well, along with my grades; I was offered a FULL scholarship to the University of Lewis and Clark law school in Portland, OR. She was young and did not want to leave her family behind. So I had a choice, go to law school or stay with the woman I was head over heals in love with who could not leave her family behind. We were married in 98. In 99 we moved a state over for a great job opportunity for her. Our daughter was born in 2000. While she was happy with her work life, I was miserable. We divorced in 2003. She said that we have drifted apart. I did everything for her, and I would have done more, but she wanted a divorce, so a divorce is what she got. We both made our ways back to our home town, to be near family. She got custody of the girl, but we have liberal visitation rules. I was totally blind sided! I was still in love, but I guess she is done with me. I can’t handle the fact she is getting remarried, it is killing me. What do I do? help

Answer 1

I know exactly how you feel. I gave up a successful career to follow my husband in his job. When he started saying how unhappy he was, I did everything I could to make him happier- even sacrificing my own self esteem as a result. You honestly need more time to heal because you really loved her. When we love a person- in the way we are meant to love each other- it really does take a part of us and binds with that person. When that person doesn't love us with the same intensity, it is devastating. My suggestion- consider a support group for divorced and single parents or maybe counseling. You have a lot of feelings that still need to be expressed which can be overwhelming. I will say one last thing which seems a bit cliche but when one relationship ends, it means that chapter in your life is over and you are now at the beginning of a new and even better chapter in your life. So stop thumbing through those pages and move forward!! :-) Good luck and God Bless!

Answer 2

Go out and start dating again and hopefully you will met another woman.

She has moved on with her life and you should too.

Dwelling on the past is not healthy.

Answer 3

It seems like you are an amazing person. Gave up a career that you were working so hard for, You supported her in her career choice. It seems like some women do not know what exactly they want in life. When you have everything you need, you tend to make it seem like you are not happy with what you have. She is moving on and leaving the past behind. No matter how hard it is for you, you have to do the same. The same so that you can find that someone that would love you until it drives you insane.

There is a saying, "you do not know what you have until it is gone." Well she too will realize what she had.  

Answer 4

start dating again, its obvious she doesnt want you.

Learn from the experence,

Answer 5

Well, I would be honest by telling her how you feel. Tell her you love her and that her and your daughter mean everything to you. Then I would pray hard. The Lord wants you to together as a family. I would see if she will go to Christian counseling. If it doesn't work like you want it to at least you tired. If you want her back fight for her. Knock the guy out. I'm only kidding made you smile. That would push her more to him. I would be honest with your feelings and at least you will get it off your chest. I am going to give you a web site to check out promise you will at least take a look at it. Maybe you both can go see Fireproof the movie Sept 26th. I don't when she is getting married, but you pray and put in God's hands. If it's meant to be it will be. I will be praying for you. Let me know how things are going.

God Bless

Faith  Phil 4:13

Answer 6

It seems like now that you've let her go,you love her even more.You are not convinced that you did whatever needed to be done to save the marriage.It is too late,you had your chance with her.She is getting remarried.All you have to do is stay friends with her.You will always share your child with her.To take your mined off,try dating other women.Finish what you didn't(law school) no,it's not late.God knows,if it's meant to be,maybe life will bring you two together again.Life is too short to stop for someone who doesn't love you.there will always be another one.Just move on as hard as it seems to be.You have a precious child,move on for her,move on with her.

Answer 7

That was her exit  strategy. You just got played if you did it all for her and she still left. To tell you the truth why did you not put up a fight to get your girl from her and make her visit?

I say just cut her off and focus on your daughter.

She will get hers in the end. You just will not be around to see it.