How do I get over the end of the relationship I had with the toddler I used to nanny for?

Question

I used to babysit almost all weekend every weekend (for eight months) for a two-year-old girl whose family I met at the daycare I work at. Her father is an alcoholic and neither parent is very responsive to her emotional needs, so the girl and I became very close. We did lots of fun things (which her parents didn't do with her) and I often spent the night or the whole weekend. She became very dependent on me and we became very attached.

Four months ago they told me they'd no longer need me anymore because they "need separation between home and daycare" (I still work at the girl's daycare, though not in her group). Since then they seem to have really gotten their act together and are being much better parents, which makes me so happy.

But at times the girl still clings to me and begs me not to leave her when I see her at daycare. Tonight was a babysitting night at daycare where we watch the kids and the parents can go out. At bedtime she cuddled with me and wouldn't let me go.

Answer 1

Anabella, I am a full time nanny. I know how much you can love some else's child/ren. You were saying how dysfunctional the family was before you came. What more than likely happened was the mother and father could see their child becoming attached and loving someone else like the parents they should have been being for her. You can move on by realizing that you have been responsible for giving this child back her parents. As time goes on you will, and the little girl will move one to a more platonic relationship instead of the parent/child relationship. You were there for her

when she needed someone to love and hold her. Now her parents are doing what they are supposed to be doing for her. It is only normal for the little girl to cling to you and beg you to hold her as you have been such an important and nuturing part of her life. Value the time you spend with her, and time will take care of the rest.

Mark is correct on his assessment of the situation. Thumbs up.

Answer 2

Part of the reason you became so attached is because you felt the need to protect her.

Perhaps her parents became more responsible and loving because of how you were able to relate to the child.

In my opinion you have done the best for this child.

Eventually you will become a mother on your own, it will be best that her parents are still the ones giving her the love she needs especially when you move on.

Everything happens for a reason, you were there for her when needed, focus on being where you need to be next, sounds like you are "here" for a reason, embrace that.

Answer 3

I think you're a very admirable person. You will make a great mother one day.

Maybe you need to cut off any contact you have with her at all, even seeing her from afar?

Answer 4

adopt a little girl?