How do I get rid of one of my biggest flaws, which is being overly critical of people

Question

I think I'm insecure. I'm very aware of my flaws, and I feel ugly on the inside and outside. I always think about how people's characters are, but mine isn't so great either. I'm too caught up in other people's lives, and their flaws, because I have too much time on my hands. I don't have friends really because I'm so shy, so that's why I have a lot of time where I just think and think about people, myself, anything. When I'm busy, I don't think of these things.

I want to be a nice, accepting person, but I feel like I can't accept people, because I always find something wrong.

To become a better person, I figured that I should try to understand people more deeply instead of jumping to conclusions, never be ashamed to be with someone because I'm no worthier than they are, respect people, never sabotage things for others, and I can't really name the rest right now.

I feel like a jealous little loser ******, who is just a big brute.

Answer 1

You need to become a goodfinder in everything, including your own self worth.

Try sitting down and writing your best qualities on a piece of paper, then those of anyone who is around you.

Take a constant approach at being a goodfinder and happiness will follow.

Best wishes

Answer 2

Sounds like my mother-in-law. Although, I do agree that you eventually find a defect in everyone as time goes on.. sometimes right away. But you have to remember your defects as well in order to humble yourself. What you need the most right now, is  happiness. When you're truly happy with how your life is going, you feel more social, and nothing affects your mood to that extent. Find out what hobbies you can obtain to accomplish your happiness. Go out and purchase something you've been wanting, create something, go out, give yourself a make-over. Maybe find someone from your past and ask to have lunch with them. Next time you hear about a get-together, just go! Hope this helps.

Answer 3

It seems like you already have a handle on the problem - that it stems from your insecurities.  Now, how about lightening up on yourself?  Almost everyone is critical of others sometimes in an effort to pump themselves up.  Instead of beating yourself up about it, focus on your best qualities.  If you like yourself you'll probably be more generous to others as well.

Answer 4

Try being more aware of your perspective of others and recognize that your judgmental nature is the biggest flaw of all. Stop yourself from developing uninformed misconceptions of others based on what you see.  Try  If you take the time to talk to people, you'll see them as a person with many qualities, talents, and characteristics that go much deeper than what meets the eye.  In doing this, you'll begin to look for the positive attributes over negative ones once you have abandoned misconceptions... which can only be done if you take the time to get to know people (as you've stated above, you've got the time to do so!)  

Once you learn to be more accepting of others, you'll be less insecure about yourself because you'll assume others are more accepting of you as well!

Answer 5

you're judging yourself makes you judge others. you should go on myspace and get some friends.

Answer 6

ask yourself why are you insecure? From then on only you can do it. Deal with your insecurities; embrace your pain and come out a whole lot better. Don't settle for the quick fix. (plastic surgery, forcefully vomiting, etc)

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Answer 7

Improve yourself, and don't worry about others.

Answer 8

  Do not punish yourself so much, we all do have this trait with us. Thinking  better than others in all things but when things go wrong we would blame them on circumstances. It is only human. Try  looking more at the better side of things. There is a saying ' Two looked through the window, one  looked at the sky  the other looked at the mud'  So cheer up.

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