How do I get the "mentally challenged" kid in school to leave me alone!?!?!?

Question

I am your normal highschooler and I have friends and boyfriends and I'm not weird or anything. For the past 3 years Bobby (the retarded kid) has been bugging me for attention by drawing me pictures and always talking to me and asking me to marry him and stuff. I find it kind of funny and I always play along, but this year is different. He has become overly annoying and aggressive. He takes my things off my desk, pulls my hair, finds me in the halls and walks me to class (while laying his head on my shoulder!!!!), follows me and cries when I ignore him or ask him to leave while I talk to my friends about "girl stuff"! What should I do? I don't want to offend the poor thing, but I can't take much more. HELP

Answer 1

Poor Bobby. I am a therapist and I understand how hard these children's lives are. Talk to your counselor or teacher and I am sure they will have a solution. However, please do not be mean or make fun of this boy. He yearns to be normal on the inside. He sees that he is different and doesn't understand how to control it. its better to let an adult handle this situation.

Answer 2

well if hes in Special Ed

then tell the teacher.

if not tell someone that your trying to be nice but hes seriously bothering you.

and lol just stay away from him

:]

Answer 3

You've gotten alot of really good advice.  You really do need to talk to his teacher about it.  Perhaps print out your question if you're nervous. The only thing I would add, is that if you are willing, ask the teacher or aide to help facilitate appropriate conversation and behavior.  If you and some friends could maybe have lunch once a week with him, aide present, so he can learn how to act and interact on a level that won't ostricize him.  Make sure he understands for instance that "On Tuesdays only, we will have lunch together".

He does need to learn not to harass, pull hair, cry, or lean on you when you don't want it.  What might be cute in high school, definitely isn't cute in a 35 yr old man.

It sounds like you've been encouraging him rather than just be mean.  I appreciate that you don't want to offend or hurt him, so helping him like this could be the perfect way to turn it around.  Not only will you gain some valuable insight that will help you down the road, you'll be modeling excellent behavior for your peers, and can even get good recommendations from the special ed teacher if it goes well.  Who knows, it might even open up new career ideas that you hadn't even considered.  

Answer 4

express your concern to your school counselor or someone like that! let them deal with it!

Answer 5

Most mentally challenged students have an aid to help them. Find out who Bobby's aid is and and talk to him/her about it. Explain that while you know he is harmless and a nice person you still feel very uncomfortable with this behavior. The aid can make sure that Bobby is engaged in other activity while you are around so that his sole attention isn't on you. The aid will gently remind Bobby about what is acceptable and what is not. Hopefully this helps. Good lcuk.

Answer 6

just tell him when it is appropriate or not appropriate to approach you. usually a 'mentally challenged' child would leave you alone if you explain to him properly and firmly how you feel about him bugging you. he just needs to see the picture.  just don't tell him abruptly to leave you alone..

...when it's time for him to approach you, give your full attention to him, but don't encourage his feelings towards you. try to divert his attention to other things, while gradually fading yourself in the picture.



hope this helps..

Answer 7

You need to contact his special education teacher about Bobby's behavior. If you feel uncomfortable doing that, maybe you could talk to one of your teachers and ask them to talk to his teacher with you. Bobby needs to learn that this is not appropriate behavior. Since you have been playing along when he asks you to marry him or tries to "flirt" with you, he is encouraged to continue this behavior. If he asks you to marry him again, tell him I'm sorry, let's just be friends. Hugging and laying his head on your shoulder is not appropriate. Encourage high fives and hand shakes instead of hugs. Bobby has all the same urges and needs that typical high schoolers have, but because of his disability, he does not know how to appropriately react to those urges. If you talk to his teacher, she should be able to give you some ideas of how to interact with him appropriately and talk to him about why he can not treat you the way he has been treating you. Hopefully, you can have a friendship with Bobby where he respects your boundaries, and you are able to enjoy the friendship too.  

Answer 8

I totally agree with Twixter, tell Bobby you don't like when he takes your things and pulls your hair.  Be sure to give him attention for being positive.  Give him a time when it is ok to be around and be consistent.  Tell him you are friends but you have other friends too.  Give him time between 1 class to walk together and another 5 minutes that is convenient.  6 minutes of positive time with Bobby a day shouldn't be too much of a hardship and realize that you may be the only one being nice to him and it may be all that he looks forward too.  I totally disagree with SPED, hugging and laying a head on the shoulder is totally appropriate for a senior in highschool.

Answer 9

First, do NOT use the word "retarded."  Talk to his teacher.  Let him/her handle it.  I teach special ed. high school students.  Their "typical" peers (we do NOT use the term "normal" either) make an effort to understand.  If they have a persistent issue with one of my students, they will come to me and I will deal with it.

P.S.  to biteme:  are you the least bit aware that each of us is at risk of sustaining traumatic brain injury?  Do you ride a bike, a skateboard, ride in a car, walk across the street...?

Not every "retarded" individual was born with cognitive delays.  Be nice or YOU may find a cookie taped to YOUR back.

I am glad to see that biteme's answer was deleted.

Answer 10

Ha. Well, I guess you could let an authority figure know. I had this girl named Chanel from the special ed class follow me around saying "SISTER!!!" all through the hallways. That lasted for 4 years! I guess it isn't as bad as your situation b/c she was never aggressive, and she'd leave me alone if I told her to. Good luck.

Answer 11

tell him there is a cookie taped to his back and then he will try to get it and start spining around tring to get it while you run away or talk to a teacher

Answer 12

Olga, why don't you stop being such a snob and realize that "Bobby" is a person, too, with feelings. No, you don't have to put up with his physical advances, but you could actually talk to him about it like you'd talk to any other person and tell him he has to stop touching you and pulling your hair and putting his head on your shoulder because it bothers you.

You could even go to the special ed teacher and ask them to talk to Bobby about appropriate interactions with other kids.

Sometimes kids with problems don't have appropriate social skills and don't know any better.

Answer 13

Tell an administrator.....

lol.....

I don't know it hitting him will solve anything!!