How do I get through this?

Question

I was in a 5 year relationship with a girl that I met when she was 16 and I was 19. Everything went really well all up until this past 6 months. This summer I was planning on asking her parents if I could have her hand in marriage and was planning on proposing to her this Christmas at the Peak in Hong Kong. I already had the ring picked out and everything. About a month and a half ago she went up north with her girlfriends to the cottage but refused to let me in on any of the details of her trip. The next weekend she did the same thing, except this time when she returned she told me that I needed to change myself and that she couldn't be with me until I did. According to everyone in her family I was amazing to her, supportive, generous, caring, loving, sweet etc. It turns out 3 days after she told me to get lost my sister bumped into her and hew new boyfriend from up north. She ditched me for someone she had only known for a week! Her mother called me to tell me she loved me yesterday and that I will always be her son... it seems like I can't get away from it! How do I get over this time? I feel useless, like I failed, like I am worthless and worst of all replaced by someone that no one likes (Her mother and brothers told me this). How do I do it?

Answer 1

You should at least feel good that they can see how good of a person you are.  You know, she doesn't deserve your sweetness, kindness, and loyalty.  You wanted to purpose in Hong Kong?  Whoever finds you next, will find a good man. She don't deserve you.

Answer 2

it is better that you found out now than later, painfull but rewarding at the same time when you discover the truth about a person

Answer 3

I'd stay away from the whole family for right now, so you can get your bearings.  Keeping in contact with them will only make it harder for you to get passed.

Be happy she did this before you made her your wife!!!

Answer 4

Best thing would be just to forget her.  She didn't care about you, had she cared she wouldn't be with someone else. Go out and date have fun.  And don't  do like many people do.  And waste years trying to understand what went wrong.

Answer 5

Hi Shawn,

You did NOTHING wrong.

It sounds like you two grew up together and she made a wrong turn at the fork in the road.

Please do not blame yourself. You deserve better than a woman who cannot commit to you.

Good luck.

Answer 6

Don't talk to her family any more and make your own life with out your ex, in time they will grow to love her new stud don't fool yourself she is their flesh and blood you need to move on