How do I go about finding my biological family?

Question

Hi, I'm a 21 year old woman, and i'm trying to find my biological family.

I'm not adopted, my Mum was.

Me and Mum have, ''grown apart''. I won't go into detail but basically we are just not very close and do not have much contact.

Although I was close to my adoptive family, (my Grandparents, my Mums adopted sister and her children and family) I'm curious about my heratige.

I was just wondering how I would be able to search for them, and would I need my Mothers consent?

Answer 1

have a look in phone book where u born@ see if there is anyone with same name that's how i found my biological family after 44yrs

Answer 2

no you do not need your mom's consent... you are of age to go in search, no legal issues there.

I am in search of my b parents too, but have a more complex case. It's an international search..

If it is local (US) it could be a little easier. If you have a name and date of birth(mothers) your search shouldn't be too hard.

Try start with a criminal check with in the area you presume she lives. Sometimes you can find someone with a criminal check.  This is accesible to most, via web in most states.

good luck

Answer 3

Are you an Aussie?

It sounds like you are since you used "mum" was your mother adopted in Australia? Can you edit your question and add in where she was adopted, laws change from county, to state, to country so to give you the best advice we'd need to know what state/country your mom was adopted in.

Possum here is an Aussie and shes great for down unda searchin! And I could totally point you in the direction if shes a US adoptee, and Heather is in the UK so you've got alot of help here when you tell us where the adoption happened :)

Answer 4

We have an adopted daughter who is now 31.  She contacted her birth mother via an agency, which was -and probably still is - recommended by the relevant department of Social Services.  It was a free service, but was aimed principally at adopted people.  If you explain the circumstances they should be able to help - and to advise if you need your mother's consent.

I do not think you will need it, because one day you might need to know your genetic medical history.  

It is far more difficult to trace your birth grandfather, as the father of adopted children is rarely identified on certificates or records.

Our daughter found both birth parents and is no longer in touch with the woman, but gets on very well with the man and his family.  We encouraged her to find her birth parents, once she had decided to do so and have absolutley no regrets.  We have met and had long chats with them both, separately.

Good luck.

Answer 5

go on a family finding web-site. You have to pay but i hear they got some good services on them.

Answer 6

you can search for your mothers birth records if you know the original state or county she was born in and get her original birth certificate with her biological parents on it.  you may need consent form her to look at the records but you should be able to.

Answer 7

The advice of Kaygee is sound but I would add you mention your Mum and you have 'grown apart'. Contact without first talking to her about it could cause further problems with your relationship as you may become party to information that she does not wish to know. Give thought to how you will handle this aspect.

Answer 8

you are 21 you shouldnt need permission

try a lawyer

or if you have names try ads in papers

be sure its what you want  there was a  reason the other people gave up your mother

it may have  been forced or it may have been there own idea

wether you and your mom  are close or not  shes still your mom  and i   am fairly certain it  will  hurt her

my sister went thru something simular with her daughter

Answer 9

Hi - I'm UK too.  Scotland and England differ slightly so depends which country you are in.

I'm Scottish - all I did was look at my adoption (birth) certificate, contacted Registrar House in Edinburgh and asked if they could locate my records.  They did and I made an appointment to go in and see them.  I left it at this stage - I just wanted to know who/where I came from and have no desire at this time to make contact.

Please note that ALL uk adoption records are sealed by the court issuing them before being sent to the Registrar and only the person who was adopted can open them.  Possibly if your mum went with you or gave you permission you could see them.

Given that it was your mum that was adopted I'll take a guess at age and say that it would have been Social Services that arranged her adoption.  You can get free counselling (I didnt bother)

http://www.gro.gov.uk/gro/content/adopti...

(for england / wales)

http://www.nas.gov.uk/guides/adoptions.a...

(for scotland)

good luck and shout back if you need more info ... it can be a minefield out there, and be prepared for a loooooooooooong slog and plenty of dead ends.  Also be prepared to find that your mum's mum may no longer be alive, or have absolutely no wish to see or hear from you.  Don't want to put a downer on your search but these are things you need to consider.

Again .... good luck!

Answer 10

hi i have just found my adoptive sister after 17 years,  i'm 20 the place to go and find your real family is AFTERADOPTION they have a website, phone them an they will help trace your family, i waited three months and then was reunited with my sister. i hope you try them cause they are really helpful,  you are 21 you do not need concent from anyone, at 18 you are eligiable to find them good luck

Answer 11

In the UK you need to contact your County Records Office to arrange an appointment. They will tell you what you are entitled to know and how to obtain it. Many include a counselling service as well. Normally this is all free.

Answer 12

Ugh...no...sorry, kaygee, no offense, but going through the agency is a bad idea.  They are notorious for lying and trying to prevent reunions from happening.  I'm a classic example; the agency social workers bold-faced lied to me about circumstances surrounding my adoption which could have affected who I searched for first ( and would have ended up VERY badly if I would have done that).  

If you can by any means do this without resorting to using the agency, an intermediary, etc., don't do it.  Do this yourself.  Remember; nobody has any interest in seeing a reunion happen except for YOU.  These people make their money off ADOPTONS...not reunions.

If you're in the UK or Australia, then the records are not sealed and you should be able to find out some names and go from there.  Like Gershom said, Possum who posts here is very good with Australia searches, and Heather should be able to help you out if you are in the UK.  Hopefully they'll see this and give some advice as well.

Good luck!

Answer 13

As it is not your immediate family, you would need your mother's consent as she is the one that will be finding the info out not you. Good luck.  :)

Answer 14

go back 2 the adoption agency u were adopted fromand ask if they have any info on ur parents and if that dosent work hire a privet detective and no u dont need parental consent coz ur over 18 hope u find ur parents