How do I go about legally getting my friend's baby??

Question

My friend just found out last night that she is six months pregnant. Didn't know until now. She already has a 10 year old and has her 2 year old niece. She says she isn't ready for another. She says she can't afford it. She wants to give it up. So if my husband and I wanted to take the baby, what are the legal steps we have to follow? We are on limited time now considering she has only three months left. Does everything have to be done thru court? What steps should we take? Thanks in advance.

Answer 1

Actually, you have plenty of time.  Making a plan for adoption before birth is really unethical.  You could show that you're a good friend by telling her, "Hey, let's wait and see how you feel after giving birth."  We hear all the time of mom's who give birth, and just can't do it.  Save yourself some heartache.  This is her baby unless and until she decides to place the baby in your arms...and she can't possibly do that until after birth.  For now, how about if you try to find out what she would need if she decided to parent, and help her out with that?

What jgf suggested, guardianship, would be a really great second choice.  Adoptees in closed records states are unable to access their own birth certificate and other information.  If a child isn't actually adopted, the records never close.  But you and your friend can work together to provide a stable, loving, large family for her child (you would be the primary parents, but in the ideal situation, the child will know from day one that she is his/her "tummy mommy").

After the birth, see how your friend feels.  If she still wants to work out a guardianship arrangement or adoption, then you can contact a lawyer.  Children are adopted up to the age of 17, so really there is no rush on this.  You can have the paperwork drawn up and take care of all the necessaries after the baby is born.  That's the only ethical way to go about this.

Good luck!

Answer 2

In order to be legally your responsibility, you will have to file papers. That doesn't mean the child can't live with you, but in order to have legal custody (aka, parental decision-making rights) you will have to file for adoption. If the mother is willing to sign all of the appropriate papers, a lawyer can have it done in a relatively short period of time. Three months may be unreasonable, but again, it doesn't mean the child can't live with you after the birth.

Answer 3

How the **** did your friend not know that she was pregnant until she was 6 months along? How did she finally learn? Especially if she's already gone through a pregnancy? That just doesn't seem physically possible.

I agree with your decision; however, it's not that she isn't ready for another or she can't afford it. She doesn't seem fit or stable enough to raise a child if she even can't figure out she's pregnant until six months.

Talk to the court or a lawyer and an adoption agency, since she must release her parental rights to you and your husband The father might have something to say about it as well, if he knows.

Answer 4

how about guardianship until she's ready to raise her child?

Answer 5

Well you'd have to go through social services wouldn't you?

im pretty sure.

but yeah it's basically just so you don't take the baby and the girl wants it back, so it's legal.

Answer 6

I think if this is something that your family and your friend (and the baby's father) all want to do, then you should contact an adoption or family lawyer.  But if that means waiting until after the child is born before everyone is sure this is what they want, that's fine too.

Answer 7

She knows what it is like to have and take a baby home, she has her niece, I agree with another poster, don't set your self up for heartbreak.

You can see a lawyer and see what needs to be done.

Answer 8

You will have to find an adoption agency that will work with you.

Answer 9

yes get your self a lawyer go thur court for adoption she stupid how can she not know shes 6 months pregant

Answer 10

Don't set yourself up for heartbreak now. Your friend has known for less than 24 hours, and while her first thoughts may be she can't afford it / she can't handle another child, this may change when she has had the time to really think about it.

She has 3 months to feel that baby growing and kicking in her belly...how can you be sure she won't fall in love with it and decide to keep it, or give birth, look at her little baby and know she just can't give it up?

Support her for now but give her time to come to grips with what is happening. If a little way down the track (or even better after the child is born) she STILL decides that a baby is beter off in someone elses care than her own then look at stepping in.

It has only been 24 hours....nowhere near enough time for her to really know if she wants this baby or not.