How do I go about looking for my ex husband who is hiding to avoid additional child support?

Question

I know my ex husband is in the states, I know he legally changed his name once already and I have that plus his personal data because we were married for a bit. He left me while preggos with my youngest and has chosen to live in hiding in "another country" when he is actually here in the states. He doesn't want to pay more child support for his children nor does he want to visit or be a part of their lives. He told the courts he is only making 30k when he was making 100k prior to leaving. I know he is making more now but he is definitely hiding.

Answer 1

Don't pressure him. I know this sounds very badly.  But personally it hurts the children more when they hear  that  mom has to badger dad to pay child support.  You want him to be willing to accept that responsibility . After all, You picked him.  You did not do enough homework.  You should have done a little better at choosing a good provider for your children.  And apparently wasting your life trying to locate this loser.  Go on with your life and find someone else.  Join some meeting singles groups,  volunteer at church bazaars, and meet people.  Don't waste your time and worries on an ex-husband.  He will come around when the children are grown with his grandchildren.  He will then want to be in their lives.    

Answer 2

You can search for him online at any number of paid search sites (USsearch.com, Intelius.com, and more).  You can search white pages sites (switchboard.com, whowhere.com, anywho.com, and lots more).  If you know the name he's using and have an idea where he might be, you can always search with the county Register of Deeds and/or County Tax Assessor to see if he owns any real estate or vehicles.

You can Google his birth name, or the name he changed to, and see what comes up.

You might even try Classmates.com or Reunion.com to see if he ever registered at either place.

Does he own a business?  Secretary of State has incorporation papers and most states require some sort of annual report naming the corp executives.  Some states make these records public and others don't.  But it's worth a shot to see if his name shows up as an owner, registered agent, or officer of a company.

You can always hire a private investigator.

Before you do anything, you need a really top-notch lawyer.  Not just a lawyer - you need a barracuda.  There are ways to legally track him down AND find out about his income and assets, but some of these you can't do on your own.  And if he has lots of money, he can hire the best lawyer around to fight you.  If paying child support means he gets visitation, do you want to go that route after all?  What if he will agree to pay a lump sum to cover any past-due child support from the time he left up to now, and then he terminates his parental rights?  What if you get a judgment but before he starts paying, he changes his name again, gets more fake paperwork for Social Security, etc., and/or leaves the country?

There are a lot of issues when a man who has money doesn't want to support his kids AND doesn't want to be found.  A good lawyer on your side is the only way you'll ever negotiate through this mess.

Answer 3

IF HE DOESNT WANT TO STEP UP AND BE A FATHER TO THE KIDS THAT YOU SHARE DONT MAKE HIM.

I KNOW THIS SUX, BUT IF YOU PUT HIM ON CHILD SUPPORT HE'S GRANTED VISITATION, AND APPARENTLY HE WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE KIDS. IF HE DOES GET VISITATION, YOULL BE WORRIED ON WHETHER OR NOT THEY ARE SAFE OR NOT, SO 20 PERCENT OF HIS INCOME IS JUST NOT WORTH IT.

I KNOW EVERY LITTLE BIT HELPS, I DO KNOW THAT, AND I KNOW ITS HARD, BUT YOUR WASTING SO MUCH TIME AND ENERGY CHASING AFTER A MAN WHO DOESNT WANT TO BE THERE, WHEN YOU COULD BE BEING A WONDERFUL PARENT, AND PLAYING MOM/ANDDAD TO YOUR WONDERFUL CHILDREN, TIMES GET HARD SURE, BUT INSTEAD OF WORRYING ABOUT HIM, WORRY ABOUT THEM, AND EMBRACE THE MEMORIES THAT YOU DO HAVE, BECAUSE KIDS GROW UP WAY TOOO FAST THESE DAYS.

2 MISS jennielynnm:

CHILD SUPPORT IS TOO LINKED TO VISITATION.!!!

it is here in tx.

point is, if you put the father of your children on childsupport, you HAVE to let him see them, unless you can prove he is unfit. but the day you take him for childsupport, THEY WILL have you sign papers stating he has EVERY right to come and pick them up every other weekend beginning at six on friday and he returns them at six on sunday, unless you guys come to another agreement.

if you want his money he has everyright to see the child he is supporting.

Answer 4

Get the authorities involved. The government knows what he is making and where he is (unless he's lying on his taxes) so they will be able to help. Contact your lawyer and see who you need to get in contact with. Recently the government has taken hold of the child support process in a much more aggressive way, for this very reason. If you can't find him, the government will.

I have a friend that receives child support. We live in Nebraska. She gets her check directly from the state every month. That way he has to pay the state, not her. It cuts out tons of problems because then he owes the government, not her. He may want to be a jerk and not pay, but its much harder for him to s***w over the government then it would be for him to s***w her over. But the bottome line is she gets her money, whether he is paying the government or not is not her problem but it will be his if he doesn't.

Jennie is completely right by the way, child support and visitation rights have nothing to do with each other. Both are independent of one another. There are lots of people that pay child support, yet have no visitation rights.

Answer 5

i think u should be persistent and do not give up, even if he doesn't want to be part of your kids life that's fine  as spanish people say some times less dogs less fleas, and keep on maybe he has friends that have kept in contact with him and social security# is very important, bad fathers should pay. good luck.

Answer 6

http://www.ussearch.com Only $10.

Answer 7

apply for a car loan online using your and his personal information (as a co-signer) and see what they send back.  it's a shot in the dark - but what do you have to lose?

Answer 8

Does he have an SSN?  Does he usually work at least one job where he pays taxes?  

Most states now will assist in child support collection.  You provide all the info you have (SSN is key) and they will look in the new hire registry (which is a federal registry now) and as soon as he is hired somewhere or they figure out where he is working, they will start deducting from his check.

Look at your state's child support enforcement website (most states have them) for more information.

If he is not working legal jobs where he files taxes/uses his SSN, then you are SOL unless you hire a private detective.

BTW - name change does not affect your SSN.

Answer 9

Contact your state's child support enforcement office.  If you know his SS#, they can find him.  And child support is NOT tied to visitation.  My ex still gets visitation even though he doesn't pay his child support.  If you don't want him to see your kids, you can get a court order (there should be reasons like he's a danger to their welfare) otherwise you should want their father in their life.  It's a shame that some fathers are such losers!  He is missing out on wonderful kids, I'm sure.

Answer 10

call the fbi