How do I handle a baby shower problem??

Question

I'd rather not invite my dad to my baby shower, but he INSISTS that I include him. My parents have been divorced for 23 years and my dad makes my mom very uncomfortable. He has to be the center of attention and always tries to upstage my mom. I really want my mom to attend and I would prefer the shower to be ladies only anyway, but my dad will throw a fit if he's not invited. He does not like to be left out of things and tends to manipulate me so he can get his way. I tried explaining to him that I'd like to follow the "ladies only" tradition, but he told me I'm not being fair and that I'm trying to punish him. I'm concerned that he will encourage my stepmom (his wife) not to attend, or that he may show up uninvited, which is something he would do. Any advice on how I can handle this in the most mature and gracious way? Thanks!

Answer 1

I agree you should set one up that is ladies only and then you could throw another one where everyone is invited...I understand that the is some beef between your parents but he is going to be a grandparent also and wants to be a part of it...

Answer 2

Just say "dad, I love that you want to be involved in my life, but the baby shower is for ladies only and it would be rude and unfair to them to invite you.  How about we go out to lunch the day after and I can show you pictures from the shower?"  It would be horrible for him to act like a baby and insist on coming.  And you also need to plan on having it at a location that he does not know about.  There is no reason to give in to his demands, you will only fuel the problem.  I would wonder what is wrong with him that he manipulates to be the center of attention.  I would really sit him down and talk about this.  He cannot behave this way especially around his grandkids, and you need to discuss this.

Answer 3

Simply ask him if he really wants to be at your baby shower then he could host one for you. Then you can have 2 showers!

Answer 4

have two baby showers. one for ladies and one for gentlemen. make a a sort of a contest. who's the best hosts.

Answer 5

I kind of agree with the ladies who say have two showers (especially the one who said for HIM to throw one if he wants to go to one).  If you do not start putting your foot down now and make him stop manipulating you, what are you going to do when he wants to do something outrageous with your child???  Start now so he won't be shocked later!

Answer 6

I've never heard of a baby shower that includes men???? It's supposed to be a "girls only event". Maybe you could have a 2nd one that you invite your Dad to and some people that he gets along well with and have a "ladies only" shower for the other one.  

Answer 7

Really!? Grow up dad, baby showers are for women! He needs to get over it, this is a celebration and you don't need the added stress! Don't be afraid to tell him just that. They say not to be stressed while pregnant so just think you are doing what is right for the baby. Once you have your child he will get to share many wonderful times. Good luck!