How do I handle a bossy sister in law during a wedding?

Question

My one and only sister recently got engaged. We're very close. She asked me to be her maid of honor. I live in CA and she is in Chicago, so I've been planning everything from out here. I just found out my sister in law (brother's wife) has apparently planned out a whole shower without even asking if it is ok. How do I handle this? She's so bossy and pushy. This is my only sister and I already have everything planned out! I'm so upset.

Answer 1

Confront her and tell her sorry, that you already have it all planned but you appreciate her willingness to help out.  

Answer 2

get mad and tell her off, she family now and you have the right too, LOL

Just tell her she needs to back off some and that she is being pushy and if she doesnt get the idea then you need to get pushy.

Answer 3

ah its okay just shes being mean maybe you will be abal to do it *gives hug*

Answer 4

id be upset too.

confront her, tell her how you feel and tell her to stop being so inconsiderate its your only sister you already ahve everything planned and your sister asked you to do it. if shes rude and bossy give her some rude and bossy back..give her a taste of her own medicene:)

GOODLUCK!

Answer 5

Was she aware that you were already doing all the planning? If she already knew, then you need to talk to her and see if maybe you could combine your ideas...otherwise tell her you're the maid of honor and you already have the plans set and had she contacted you first, you could have informed her of that.

Answer 6

have the guts to tell her politely that you appreciate it but it's already planned and thats final!!

Answer 7

Tell her to jog on, you were supposed to do it.  

Answer 8

Hi Whitney,

I can only tell you how I would handle it. I would call the sister-in-law and say that as the Maid of Honor, you have your work cut out for you in planning the pre-wedding festivities. You've heard that she has expressed some interest in helping you plan them, which is FABULOUS since she is at a geographical advantage. Is it true that she's willing to assist you?

Also, I would refrain from complaining about this to the bride. She has enough stress on her plate, and if you absolutely need to get it off your chest do it a few months after the wedding.

Hope this helps!

Answer 9

call your mom.

Answer 10

Call her and find out what the plans are.  Perhaps you and she could dovetail everything nicely.  It's worth a try.  But don't sit around and be all angry about it.  Give her a call.  See what's what.

Answer 11

Where does your sister-in-law live?  Does your sister know this is going on?  How did you find out? There is not enough info to answer.  I have all sorts of answers for you, but I need more info.  :)  

Answer 12

Tell your sister in law that it was very nice of her but the plans are already made.  

Answer 13

Okay first of all YOU ARE IN CONTROLL OF THE WEDDING!! this is YOUR sisters WEDDING and your "sister in law" HAS NO RIGHT TO DO THAT you need to go up to her and tell her you DO not LIKE what she is doing and that YOU are going to DO IT. and i dont care what she says THis is your only sisters wedding and it only happends once! make it the best  

Answer 14

Ignore her

Answer 15

lol Im a guy so i probly got this one wrong however its her wedding and truefully i think you are suppose to make everything go smoth so if she wants to plan everything i would leave her but check to make sure everythings done and during try to smile and make it go smooth now i am a guy lol soooo take what i say for what its worth  

Answer 16

Tell her you are hurt that she did not include you in on her ideas, and that since you are the maid of honor, according to etiquettetiquette, it is your job to do the planning and you were supposed to be the main person in charge of it.  You take a stand, girl!!  And explain the situation to her husband.  Have him talk to her if you are afraid.  But don't be, all you need to do is stand up for what you believe should have been the plan, and if necessary, have two parties, that's all, don't cry about it, she'll be thrilled to pieces.  I would just be happy for her.  I'd love to have two showers.

Answer 17

put ur foot down. cuz one day u will fianlly get fed up & u will put ur foot down & im sure she wont liek u & trouble w/ the inlaws (no worries happens to EVERYONE) so its better u put ur foot down now instead of regreting later that she planned YOUR sis's wedding.

if u havent heard from her then plan it urself, & when she decides to call u tell her u got it covered. EAT OR BE EATEN...dun dun dun

Answer 18

Call your SIL and tell her "As maid of honor, it's my duty to throw the wedding shower for my sister.  I have all of the plans made and I intend to follow through with them.  I appreciate that you are interested in the shower but she is my only sister and I will be doing it."  If she gets angry you should tell her, "You know that I am the maid of honor, if you had consulted me you would have known that everything was taken care of."

No crying while you talk either.

Answer 19

Punch her in the nose

Answer 20

Try to handle this without involving your sister.  This may mean you'll have to compromise with your sister in law.  Clearly say, "I don't want to get my sister involved, but I have also planned a shower at her request, and now we have to work this out without upsetting her."  

Answer 21

wow, she sounds like a total betch. but you should have your sister and her fiance talk to her about this. drag them in2 this, its their wedding, not yours or your sister-in-law's.

Answer 22

even my mom gets scared of my big sister. she fixed mums house cause she wanted a holiday place!!!!she is so blind to my father who picked on me and my sister casue he thought we were dumb and would get away with it.