How do I handle a seperation?

Question

Well it all started on Friday night when my husband got on line to check his bank account and found that I had transfered money out of his savings account into my checking account, then I took the money I transfered and lent it to a friend. That isn't the worst part this isn't the first time I have done this. I have always been really bad with money and I try to control things for a while and when I start to get in over my head I start neglecting to pay things and start shopping more. So the first time it was A LOT of money and this time it was about 300. Now my husband wants a seperation and has his bags packed already. I don't want to lose him I really want to get better and fix my marriage but he is dead set against it. He says he is tired of being so unhappy. Can anyone help me?

Answer 1

see a counselor and a financial advisor. you need to get control of yourself. it is bad enough when you waste your own money but you are OUT OF CONTROL wasting his. shame on you.

Answer 2

Your husband is helping you. Only consequences will sort out this kind of abuse.

Answer 3

you need to tell him you are going to get counseling. If you don't he has the right to leave you. If you do, he should stay and see what happens. If he doesn't stay if you say you are going to counseling, then that means he already wants to leave you for other reasons and is using this as an excuse to go, if that's the case, let him leave, he will only cheat on you to get you back.

Answer 4

It sounds to me like there is something else going on here.  The fact that your husband's reaction is to leave and not even consider your offer to get help for yourself makes me wonder whether there is another woman in the picture.  He's ready to go and has his bags packed. . . hmmm.  I've read somewhere that the vast majority of men never decide to actually leave their wife UNTIL they have a new relationship in place.  (Women are the opposite for some reason.)  So maybe he has just used this as an excuse for leaving you, when he has in fact been planning this for quite a long time.

I suggest you see a lawyer immediately and find out what your legal position is, because if he files for divorce he may make financial claims against you based on the two times you've done the wrong thing with your bank accounts.

Answer 5

I dont blame him for waiting to leave you.

You did a dishonest thing and now your paying for it.

You should have thought of not wanting to lose him before you did such a sneaky thing.

You cant be trusted.

Answer 6

Hmm...sorry, it sounds like that was the last straw

Answer 7

Even though what you did was not right, I don't think it's enough of a reason to walk out on you. When you say that he told you that he is tired of being unhappy, what does he mean? Did these things that you did, make him THAT unhappy that he wants a separation/divorce? Or is there something MORE that you need to ask him about? Talk to him...get things straight...you deserve to know.